Trying to Cover Up Our Adulterous Sin

I was a married woman involved in an affair with a married man that I worked with (my supervisor) We thought we were in love until one day The married man started having cravings for peanut butter and he knew in the past the only time he craved peanut butter was when his wife was pregnant so I took a home pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. And it wasn’t for my husband… I told the married man about the results and that’s when reality set in. The love I thought we had was gone. He looked at me with such a disgussed look on his face. I felt like pure trash. He told me the only option I had was to have an abortion. He took me to Atlanta and I said I was having second thoughts, he said if I didn’t get it done he would leave me there. Well I went thru with it and the nurse told me while I was recovering I was crying and asking Jesus for forgiveness. That day a part of me died. I was tormented day and night. I started hearing voices; then there was a constant knock on my door and everytime I opened the door there was a little baby crying saying, “mama why didn’t you want me”. I was a nervous wreck. I couldn’t tell anybody; I tried to talk to the married man about it and he told me to drop it and he didn’t want to hear anything about it ever again. I couldn’t tell my husband because I was having an affair. The married guy and I was deep in sin and to cover up our sin we murdered a helpless child. I still have images in my head of the ultra sound that I saw of my child just before I allowed the doctor to kill it. This happened in 2007 and I am still taking one day at a time and constantly praying that God keep my mind. One thing I learned the devil will lead you in a situation that will take Jesus to get you out of.