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Abortion Scar in my Soul!

by Admin

I was 20 years old and going out with a guy I thought cared about me. I had sex with him 1 time and I felt it right afterwards that I conceived. I never felt that ever in my life before or afterwards. I did get pregnant as I had felt and when I went to meet him and tell him about the pregnancy, he looked at me in the eye and happily said he was moving to another State and wanted nothing to do with me. We never spoke or saw each other again. I decided that I could not tell him and I went to a Planned Parenthood Abortion clinic in NYC and had the abortion. Immediately afterwards I was left in the room to get dressed and I was overcome with bitter sorrow. I felt as if it was revealed to me that I killed a beautiful baby girl and I felt the guilt and deep sadness. The Dr. who performed the abortion walked into my room and saw that I was crying and he got angry. He was so angry that I was crying and he quickly berated me because I was crying, and I could not say a word to him, I just ran out of the room sobbing. I was heartbroken with the realization that I murdered my baby. I did not understand why the Dr. yelled and berated me for feeling sadness. I often thought about looking up that Dr. to know why he was so angry and had no empathy for me. But through the years, I have come to the understanding that the Abortion doctor was upset because he was faced with the realization that he was my accomplice in the murder of my baby. That was 40 years ago, and I have never stopped thinking about my daughter who I named Cristine; what kind of life she would have had, how beautiful she must have been. I hope to see her again one day and ask her for forgiveness, a forgiveness that I need, but do not deserve.

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