My little blueberry

I found this platform after going through something I would never think I would do, even if my life depended on it. I recently had an abortion and I can’t fathom the way I feel. I feel lost, angry, and sad. I did this for a number of reasons, but looking back, none of those seem valid anymore. My heart is broken and this is by far the biggest regret I’ve ever had. When I did the ultrasound, I told the tech that I think the baby is about the size of a blueberry. After she looked at it, she said, “Yes, think of it as a little blueberry.” I can’t get that out of my head. I am beyond traumatized and I’m so disappointed in myself. I thought I was doing the right thing at 28 years old by not bringing a child into a broken marriage, where we are not financially, and emotionally stable. I was wrong. In this life, I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. I failed. This will forever linger with me.