I found out I was pregnant at 29. My husband and I were fair off and it would have been our first kid. By this point, we had talked about children and potential kid names. But we had also talked about getting in a better financial situation and making sure I was healthy enough (I have several medical issues that require medications and constant doctor visits). So we find out we’re 5 weeks pregnant and we started preparing to take on the tasks. But then a week or so later things went south. My health declined rapidly. I was bedridden and experiencing significant illnesses. I would visit my high risk OBGYN 2 to 3 times a week, I had to go to the hospital and urgent care several times. I lost ALOT of weight, was extremely dehydrated and anemic, my vitals were everywhere and I couldn’t eat or drink anything. This is on top of constant cysts and fibroids popping up. However, while my health was shot, the baby was doing okay. And unfortunately my OBGYN didn’t really care to figure out my problems, since the baby’s readings were fine. Finally at about 11 weeks my husband and I decided to abort the child. My throwing up turned to blood and it seemed like no medical specialist cared to help me get better. Since I have a family history of women experiencing life threatening illnesses during pregnancy, my husband was more afraid of loosing me and vice versa. So we aborted the baby. I decided not to look at the ultrasound before the procedure but I had already heard it’s heart beats and gotten pictures of him or her. Before the procedure, I was extremely sick and nervous. Afterwards I immediately felt relief due to my health improving. But it didn’t take long for me to regret the decision. About a month or so after everything happened I started having nightmares! My faith and religious beliefs are in line with pro life. And since that decision, I’ve struggled with my faith and if I’m really right with God. I was afraid of dying, so I chose my life instead of a defenseless child. It hurts to think about and fills me with shame. In fact. The pain is so strong, I’ve been stagnant and don’t know what to do. This is the anniversary of the week I found out I was pregnant. And next month, is the anniversary of the abortion. My husband is on around the clock comfort duty, because I never really know how I’m going to be able to handle the emotions day to day. I’m so thankful for him, but I also know he’s trying to handle his own mourning. My situation is a bit different from others and there even may be some who would tell me that my decision wasn’t a bad one. But I know for a fact, I would never do it again. If I get pregnant again, then I rather let time take it’s course and see what happens before “pulling the trigger” and potentially doing it out of fear and not faith.
In 1981 I got pregnant, my story is not a simple one, it has been a life long emptiness, not only 1 abortion but 3 and the downhill spiral into drugs, alcohol, several suicide attempts slipping into a dark place caused by the bad decision to have abortions. My first abortion i did not want my daddy found out and made me have the abortion, took me and paid for it. I never really wanted any of them but the boys that I was with did. By the time I got pregnant for the 3rd time I was heavy into a junkie, needles and alcohol. I never did talk about any of these abortions. I was blessed enough to have a healthy daughter and now grandmother. I will say to you, each child I still think about, my life would of been different, not perfect but I would of had 4 wonderful children. I have had bad relationships, and finally forgave myself for killing my babies and forgave my daddy. Those lives were not mine to murder but God’s Children. If one girl, woman, lady or anyone reads this choose life. It means you choose life for you, what if your mother aborted You? Plenty of people would love to adopt. I am almost 60 years old, what if…..what if my daddy had let me have my little baby? My life has changed only through Jesus. Have your child, it it God’s gift to you. Dont be like me, CHOOSE LIFE! Signed, Poor, pitiful, Pearl
My name is Christopher, and I met a young woman last year at a job we shared. She was the sweetest girl I had met in a long time. We started talking, she liked aliens and I love a good conspiracy. We started to go to AA meetings together, as we had recovery in common. I couldn’t be happier with life and how things were going. The young woman and I talked more and more and we were seeing each other a lot weekly. I would pick her up, we would spend time at my apartment, go to meetings, just hang out and have some freedom in a sense. She had been staying at a sober living house and I suggested she move in with me because it would be cheaper and we were already getting along very well. We spent Christmas together and made each other xmas stockings, both alien themed and we didn’t know it. I had left that job and took another job by then, she was still working there at the original place. So, one day she picked me up from work after a shift and she was quiet. In a moment she picked up something from her console in the car and showed me, it was two pregnancy tests, both positive.. I was a little shocked and surprised but I remained quiet for a minute before I talked with her. She seemed a big shocked herself. Over time, we talked and I reassured her how important this child means to me, it would be my first child. I am 37. I was thinking “I am so ready to be a father, finally, God had seen me without child and blessed me and this woman.” Her and I held off on telling our family for while. We had conversations about possible abortion. I told her I felt like this truly was a blessing and we must love this child and be this child’s parents. We scheduled regular on/gym visits and I was at every one. I got to see the awesome ultrasounds and saw my baby’s heart flicker and beats per minute. This baby is real and this is gonna happen!! Couldn’t be more excited. We had received notice the landlord had sold the place and we had to move. My mother was kind and let us move in. We began to stay with mom in her extra room. It was a little small but it worked for a Temporary solution. We eventually told our parents and my mom was very very happy and excited for us. She had told her mom and dad and they both were very supportive about it and happy. We were a good team, she loved to work and make money and so did I, I felt like I didn’t care for money like she did though. It wasn’t what was most important in my mind. Not as much as I felt like I needed to focus on family and foundation. I know money drives our reality and I work hard. So I got a job at this factory/plant and started making more money, gained full benefits, plenty of overtime. She quit her original job, the one we met at and went to work as a server at a restaurant making better money through tips. Everything seemed to be great. We hit the 20 week mark and headed to the ob/gyn again. This was a very special day because we got to see the baby and hear the baby again on the ultrasound. I was so happy when I saw the screen and baby has a fully formed baby shape, legs, arms, fingers and toes. We learned baby was a boy! Oh joy we are going to have a boy!! He had gave “thumbs up” as if he was showing us he was all ok and good inside mommy. So shared the news with family and friends and they were all excited. The child’s mom however, didn’t seem excited like all the rest of us. I listed to her tell me how she didn’t think she was ready to be a mother. For a period of time she didn’t even want to talk about the pregnancy and Anything to do with him or son. I tried to ask her opinion, tried to interest her in picking out clothes online from the gift cards the ob/gyn gifted us. She didn’t want nothing to do with anything. This is not a good signs and I tried to communicate with her about how she feels. How I could see it wasn’t a bad thing but agreed that this will be a challenge, one I am ready for. After sometime, we moved out of my.mothers and started staying with her mother. It was alright for a little while but issues arose and we left there and stayed at her dad’s. She was about 5-6 months pregnant now. I had been looking for a place for us to rent for a long while, several weeks or so. Finally we got a break and I found one near both our jobs, this could work. I made arrangements and looked at the place and liked it a lot, nice neighborhood to be a starter family home. 2 bed 2 bath with yard and patios. Great. So we just had to get the money together and we were alright. It’s July now, 6-7 months pregnant now and we had bought baby supplies and had been gifted things from family. I made arrangements to get a crib and some baby furniture, bassinet, car seat. All set to sign the lease and move in. So we both go to get our money orders and go meet the landlord. We get the tour, well, I get it a second time. She gets to see it the first time. And well we end up signing for this place.. great right? I would say yes because it’s not easy to get a place with a record. Well. She decided to sign but stay at her fathers because she has to help her sister out who has appointments she has to be taken to.. and naturally I’m all ok with it. So I move in, and tried to talk with her on the phone through text. She would talk to me and things seemed normal. At some points she would tell me how she felt like she didn’t want to be a mom. And how she wanted to adopt the child to someone else. I had been understanding with her but I was very straightforward and honest that I wanted to be my son’s father, and I wanted to take care of him even if she just decided she didn’t want to be a part of his life. She kept telling me she just “wants to make her dad proud” several occasions she said this. I said she is making her dad proud by being sober, working better jobs now. He even told her this in front of me that we were doing better… Well, she contacted the adoption agency. They had me served with notice, I responded by filing the putative father’s registry with the state. Filed a Petition for Paternity family case….. Now looking back I wish I didn’t… I can’t imagine what exactly happened but. She messaged me exactly a month after signing the lease, and told me she had had a late term abortion over state lines and that she hopes I’m ok and will cope well with it. I don’t know what happened but she filed a statement saying to the court where our family case is that she “did in fact have an abortion” but “it wasn’t 32 weeks like I said in my complaint” …. Bull, it was too his due date was 10/13 and I did the math. I don’t know if she did this or not. I know a time frame when she may have had this done in a small timeframe of 2 weeks.. between 07/24 – 08/07… This has numbed me, I can hardly function. I am doing all I can to focus on the case and to do everything I have to do to prepare. I left my job because I had no time to prepare for this case. I have no lawyer, no lawyer really even wants to represent this kind of case. I had got a couple of part time jobs. Worked them for a couple days a piece, I just can’t function anymore. I’m trying not to lose my place. I stay up looking up how I can fight this. If I try to imagine where my son is I can’t it just brings so many different feelings and powerful emotions I just stop thinking and block it out and refocus on the case. I just want to curl up and not so anything. Not eat, not move, not anything. The most horrible experience is to be told your son had been aborted 9 or 10 weeks before he was to come and change my world forever.
I’ve never wanted children. My fiancé and I have been together for years now and have been so careful. Well he’s been extremely stressed with work here recently. Last year his mom announced she had been praying for a grand baby. Around that time he started wanting to have Intercourse in his sleep. Most of the time I was still awake and would realize he wasn’t and would wake him up. Well over the summer it happened while we were both asleep. I kinda came too but fell right back to sleep and completely forgot about it. 5 weeks later I’m so sick and am in complete denial. After being nauseous and in pain for one week I went to the gyno thinking I had a large cyst. This has been the issue in the past. There was a cyst. But also a baby. 6 weeks old. I cried. And then was angry. Left to come back for blood work but never scheduled anything. Did schedule a 3 week check tho. I went on to work and cried. I came home and couldn’t find the words to tell my fiancé. I’ve always struggled to get words out when things get tough. Finally told him the next day and told him my decision. I also all of a sudden remembered what happened a few weeks ago and that added fuel to the fire. He supported me. But the next few days I could tell he had gotten soft and I told him to not think like that. It wasn’t going to work with how sick I was and needing to work. Scheduled my appointment at a clinic. Had to wait about a week. Otw there I was unsure. Got there, was taken back explained everything about the pills and then was asked if I had any questions. I was given the option to see the ultra sound but I denied it to “stay strong”. I really thought this was my choice. It wasn’t. It was a choice deemed by our government “ok”. In the state of Georgia it should be so much more difficult. I did not receive counseling just was read a piece of paper about risks. None talked about the after affects of grief. After you get through the god awful pain of the pills at first you feel relieved. It’s over. It’s not over. The next day my body started having panic attacks. Full blown hot flashes. It’s been 3 days now and all I can think about is my baby and how I so badly wish I could go back and get the fuck out of that office. I should’ve opened up to a few more people and told them what was going on. I’ve always been very stubborn and hate feeling like I’m being manipulated so kept it between my partner and I. My decision is all I can think about right now. I don’t know if it will get better or if it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I literally want a baby so bad now but 4 days ago was disgusted with the fact that I had one growing inside of me. My body hurts. My heart hurts. I’ve tried very hard to tell myself I’m a victim of the system. It was a “choice” that should not be so normal. It is not a way out. Please find the love inside of you for that sweet baby growing inside of you. There so already an undefined relationship with the baby and your body that is not talked about the way it should be. Cherish it. It will get better no matter what you are going through just don’t give up like I did. I’d give anything to have my baby back inside of me. I’ll take the all day nausea and expanding of my uterus all day long. I hope my story will prevent someone else from going through this and save a few babies. I do feel like I had to go through this to realize my life was missing something and one day god willing my fiancé and I will try and god willing be able to have a baby again. I pray for all the women making this hard decision. I pray you choose life. I pray you choose love.
I wish I found this site or a site like this a couple years ago. I had an abortion on September 1, 2019. I had just turned 21 years old, and my boyfriend really didn’t want to have a baby but I was kind of 50/50 on what I wanted to do. I found a place online where I could talk openly about my pregnancy, and most of the women responded by telling me that it’s either 18 years of taking care of a child or a 10-minute procedure. The site was pro-choice, but I think 80% of the women on their were for abortion. I did cancel my first appointment as I really wasn’t sure how I was going to feel afterwards, but I did keep the second appointment and went ahead with the surgical abortion. Two years later and I still regret it and I still occasionally cry about it. Right now I am on a mini vacation out here at Yosemite National Park, and all I can see as I’m walking around are pregnant women and babies and children. I tend to look at most women wondering if they have done the same thing I have done, wondering if I should feel sorry for them as well. They say it’s one in three women who have an abortion, so I must have passed by 30 women who had one. There is always going to be something about me that will be missing, and I will always know what that is. Abortion isn’t simply a 10-minute surgery, it’s a surgery that destroys everything about your future life and the child that you should have had. That’s what I believe. I’ll never do it again, that much I do know.
I got my girlfriend pregnant about 10 years ago. I didn’t want her to have the abortion, but she decided to. I was in love with her, and had always heard the arguments that the guy should stay out of the decision making because it’s the woman’s body and her choice. So I wanted to be a supportive boyfriend so I went with her. I knew what we were about to do was wrong. I could tell there was a new, beautiful life inside her because she was just absolutely glowing. She’d always been gorgeous but once she was pregnant she got 100x more beautiful. I knew there was a life inside her. When we got to the abortion clinic, my conscience was screaming at me the whole time. I felt like a nazi guard silently watching as innocent people were led to the gas chamber. I didn’t put up a fight, or protest. I just sat there and silently let my child be murdered. I thought I was being “a man” by supporting my girlfriend, but I wasn’t enough of a man to stick up for my child. As we left the clinic, I knew I’d helped support a murder. None of the pro-abortion arguments I’d held onto were enough to quiet my conscience. From that day on, my baby’s blood cried against me from the ground. The sky was always grey. No matter what good thing happened to me I couldn’t enjoy it, because I knew what I’d done. I started doing anything and everything I could, just to try to feel happy again for a few hours. I’d have sex with anyone I could find, just to feel alive for a few minutes. I’d drink a LOT and crank up the music and lose myself in it and pass out unconscious. That was the only thing that stopped my conscience’s pain. Every day I woke up I wanted to be dead. I so desperately wanted to be dead, but wasn’t brave enough to kill myself. But I was already completely dead inside. I became so full of hate for myself that I was just a walking rotten corpse of a person, holding nothing but anger and hatred. Any little thing that would kinda stress someone out would cause me to go into a huge rage and it would take everything I had not to beat someone up for doing something minor like being 2 minutes late to an appointment. Eventually all this anger and sex led me to lose the woman I’d done this for. Then I lost my job because I was being so nasty to people. I got another job but I’d spend every penny I had on dates and alcohol because I couldn’t live with myself. Finally, after about 8 years of living the most hellish existence I could ever, or never, have imagined, I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t kill myself but I couldn’t live with the monster I’d become. I cried out to Jesus to forgive me, and I surrendered to Him. I told Him I’d do anything He asked, I just couldn’t live like this anymore. As soon as I said that, I was INSTANTLY washed clean inside. In one second I’d gone from a rotting corpse, to being as clean as a sparkling mountain lake. I was surrounded by a peace I didn’t know existed, and I was finally alive. That was about 2 years ago, and now I can look at myself in a mirror again, or look someone in the eyes when I shake their hand. Abortion will absolutely destroy your life, but Jesus will give you His.
I was 16 years old. My boyfriend and I found out we were pregnant and we were in total shock wondering how we were going to tell our parents. The odd thing was at the time we weren’t too upset even at such a young age we loved each other so much. Our parents thought different. My mother immediately had Abortion on her mind and had everyone else convinced as well. she didn’t give me a choice. I just went through the motions I was 16 had no where to go. We went to the clinic my boyfriend came as well. He couldn’t stay just me and my mom. She had to wait outside. We were rushed through like cattle. There were other girls there too and you had the choice of being put what they called under “twilight” or gas and I chose that but it didn’t matter. When it was time the Doctor had no compassion. All I could hear was a vacuum and it hurt so bad I screamed the entire time. Afterwards they sent me out to put on my clothes and that was the end. I felt sick. We went to eat afterwards like nothing had happened. We never spoke of it again. Even now my mom has passed I have 2 children and we never spoke of it but I have always remembered. I have asked for forgiveness and I know I am forgiven but I will never forget. I will see my baby one day.