When I was 27, I got pregnant. I was single and a musician in a band and had “fling” with the lead singer. I got pregnant. He didn’t want the baby and tried to convince me on having an abortion. When I refused, he spoke to me on giving the baby up for adoption. I couldn’t do either. My mom had passed away 3 years prior and I was an only child and wanted to have a family, even if it were just baby and I. I had a prenatal appointment and was told by the nurse there that because my sugars were too high (I’m type 1 diabetic) that I may have “missed the boat” on having a healthy baby. The Obstetrician told me I should think about what I wanted to do at that point (without saying abortion). I knew what he was saying. I called my best friend whom I’ve known my whole life and cried to her telling what the nurse and doctor said to me. At that moment I considered terminating my pregnancy. I didn’t want the baby to live with any abnormalities because of my carelessness being diabetic. As I cried to my best friend over the phone she told me about God and how she also was going to help me and be there for me. She said I needed to trust God. She prayed for me and she truly was there for me every step of the way. She was there helping me when I gave birth in the hospital and to her, I am thankful. My son is now 26 years old and he is healthy. God used my best friend to point me towards Him. I’ve been a Born Again Believer in Jesus Christ for 19 years now and I understand the fear and situations women are in when contemplating abortion. I’m here to tell you that if you are pregnant right now and reading this, you’re not alone. There may be more reasons that might make sense to you to have an abortion which first is fear and also not having the support of your partner, family/friends, and financial issues, but there’s one reason that is by far one that I hope you will seek is God intricately formed us in our mothers womb. We are made in His image. No life is a mistake and there is a greater purpose for all life created. There are people here, like myself, who care and want to help. I now am an intake counselor for a pro-life ministry at my church. We have a pregnancy mobile unit that we offer free pregnancy testing, free ultrasounds, help for eomen who decide to keep their babies and also have an adoption connection to women who decide adoption over abortion. There is hope and there is help. Please contact me if you need help. I pray for each and everyone reading this today. Although I do not know you, God does, and He knows your situations. You are not alone.
email: thefruitofherhands1@gmail.com
I live in Oregon, with a Planned Parenthood just an hour north of me, and it felt like it was the right thing to do. My boyfriend wasn’t ready to be a father, my mom felt like I shouldn’t be a mother just yet, and I felt like I wanted something more in my life before becoming a mother. I ended up choosing the surgical procedure, my mom even took me to the clinic and waited for me. I was at a party on New Year’s Eve when it hit me that I should have been 6 months pregnant, but instead I decided to have a suction tube remove it from me. I left that party in tears, my friends thinking that I was crying because of some guy. I just wish I never did it, I wish I was pregnant, and I wish I had the courage on keeping what should have been my first child.
My first abortion happened in my early 20’s while I was a college student. I really felt like it was the best thing to do at that time given that I was living in a different city without family. My boyfriend at that time and I both agreed. A decision I regretted. 14 years later I found myself in a similiar situation. This time I want to keep my baby but my current boyfriend is adamant about abortion. Instead of following my heart desire I followed his. The shame, the guilt, the sadness hurts. You walk into a doctor office and they just mention abortion as an option without telling you the side affects and long-term mental and emotional pain. Abortion has caused me to enter a state of depression. Ive felt worthless and not myself at times. Abortion is not a solution to pregnancy. Abortion does not fix any problem. Abortion is a loss of life that takes a heavy toll on a parents mental state and well-being.
I blame you. I blame you for everything. I scream “THATS NOT FAIR” a million times in my head as my chest no longer feels heaviness but tightness instead. I imagine what life could’ve been if I avoided you from the start and just not at the end; what’s the beginning if there’s no ending? And vice versa. Everything within me wants to yell “I HATE YOU” as I sit here at work, typing this out. I’m tired; I wanted you to be there, I wanted YOU to be HERE. I had to go through this abortion by myself, because you lost too much? you didn’t want to miss work because you already missed sm days the week before? but you could give me a baby so easy…. ”THATS NOT FAIR” is repeating in my head to the point my soul is vibrating creating anxiety. This is killing me except it’s not fatal, just a type of suffering where I don’t die. Wait, not only are you not here with me? But you’re with your family.. the one you hid from me, assuming I knew? Are you serious, have you not heard the news about me either? I’m just gonna assume like you assumed I knew about your family, that you knew I haven’t been home for a whole year… are you kidding? No way you didn’t know that, how was I suppose to keep tabs on you? We haven’t talked since 8th grade, we graduated hs in 2019 and 2020. Now that we rekindled our hearts desires, oh how we used to like each other back then, just kids… calling on a phone a whole summer, I was your crush; you were mine. Ugh, I could reminisce about us but instead, back to reality- where I was pregnant with your baby; I was grieving our baby the whole time while you were seeing yours. I couldn’t escape the harsh reality, one where single moms are so common on the reservation, that I didn’t want to add to that truth. where the guys can leave and persuade new, without worrying about the baby they left. IM SO PROUD OF YOU, OMG OF US, we beat those statistics right? We didn’t add on to them instead we added on to our own stats of depression, anxiety, guilt, anger, loneliness… yeah, at least I have my future back on track to meet my family’s expectations.. I know I am a murder, it’s a sad story I got an abortion, and that I find it difficult to move on with life when I just want it to stop. “ITS NOT FAIR!!!” I have to deal w guilt of losing our baby boy, remember you told me that? That how I was acting you could tell it was a boy? No coincidence I had a dream of a baby boy. I wish you could fulfill a hole missing but you can’t, you’re the reason why I have that hole! Not to mention, your baby mama exposed the pictures you took of me to your group chat.. that YOU took, my baby for yours, my body not yours, her over me… when does it end? now everything appears to be calm.. but this injustice I feel. she’s doesn’t know about the abortion, because if she did, you’d lose you daughter.. OH GOD!! GOD! I was selfish yet so selfless. God what was I thinking!? What was he thinking?! I scream it’s not fair.. I lost everything for him. I went through everything by myself only to do everything not for myself. To change this, I would.. but that’s not enough so instead I blame you. blame you… no more… selfish to be selfless.
I was dating my boyfriend less than two years. I remember taking the pregnancy test and seeing the two lines appear and thought my life was over. I was always against abortion until that moment and I was torn. I felt so sick to my stomach to even consider abortion, but I wasn’t ready to be a mom. I finally felt stable in life, I just turned 27 and felt the best I had in a very long time and I wasn’t even with my boyfriend that long. I made an appointment and everything …. Canceling that appointment was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. Watching my belly grow, the movements and the bond I grew with my baby for 9 months was the most beautiful thing. I felt most beautiful too. Giving birth and seeing him made me think of how horrible life would be without him and the guilt I’d feel if I went through with an abortion. Watching my baby smile at me, look at me during feedings and just love me makes me feel terrible I’d even consider life without him. Anyone contemplating abortion or looking for an answer on what to do this is it. DONT do it, please don’t. The bond and love you will have for your baby is like no other and the guilt you’ll feel for the rest of your life isn’t worth it. Having a baby gives you life.
It has been over 44 years since I had these abortions. I thought that it was okay since the pregnancies were less than 6 weeks old. I didn’t understand that it was still murder. I repented but I still feel bad about it. I think it’s so awful and I regret it. I tell anyone – Don’t do it!
I’m 37 and I just found out that I’m pregnant with my my first baby. I had no idea and I’m already at 14 weeks. I’m not with the father although I have known him since we were 14. I’m so lost bc he’s not someone that I would want to have a baby with. It’s not that he’s a terrible person it’s just that he already has 3 girls of his own by 2 other women. I never would imagine to be a “baby mama”. I’ve always wanted to be a mother but not in this way. I’m scared that bc of my age this is my only chance at being a mom. I know that I’ll have to do everything on my own and I don’t know if im ready for that. I’ve already been crying everyday just thinking about it but I still don’t know what to do. I’m so sad bc I feel like if I have an abortion I’ll never get the chance to be a mom again. I just feel so alone and I haven’t told anyone that im pregnant. No one knows what l’m going though right now and how I feel.