Abortion Testimonials » All Testimonials » I will Never be the Same

I will Never be the Same

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Hi, my name is Aubrey. I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant. I turned 16 in October, i waited until november to go to planned parenthood and get tested. I got pregnant in september of 2011. I told my boyfriend that I was suspecting I was pregnant because I had spotting a week before my period was due and that was not normal. After I missed my period I waited 2 weeks to take a pregnancy test. I took it and sure enough I was pregnant. I waited a month to tell my parents because I had to come to grips with the situation I was in. I found out November 21 2011 I was pregnant. I told my parents December 11. That Friday they pressured me to have an abortion. I had from Monday December 12 until that Friday morning December 16 to try and handle what I was going to be put through.

 

Everytime I told my boyfriend I wanted to tell my parents he kept telling me to hold off for a little longer so he could tell his dad. Well after a week or 2 of pushing that back I couldnt keep it from my parents anymore. I told my mom on a sunday night by giving her the test result on paper from planned parenthood. That night I had to tell my dad when he got home from work and my mom called my boyfriends dad before he told him. They were so angry and they started telling me that I am not keeping this mistake and that they don’t want this grandchild because it wasn’t concieved out of love. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now. My parents told me I had one option, abortion or get kicked out of the house and go to a shelter in the city.

 

I didnt want to have to move out, never see my boyfriend again and go to a new school and be pregnant. My boyfriends dad and step mom came over Monday night the night after I told my mom and they all told me I have to get an abortion or it’s going to wreck everyones life. My boyfriend supported me and my thought for adoption. But once his dad came to talk to me and my mom he changed his mind and told me I should get one. The next day my mom called the planned parenthood and made an appointment for that coming friday for me to have an abortion. I will never forget having to wake up at 5 am to get there for an 8 am appointment to do something I didn’t want to do but I felt like I ha no choice to do.My mom told me they would do an ultra sound and that I am not to look at it because she didn’t want me to know what was there. I didn’t want the abortion. It was my baby and I stopped fighting for it. I never should have done it. My boyfriend told me he didn’t see us together anymore if I would have continued the pregnancy. My boyfriend was there for the abortion in the waiting room because he wasn’t allowed in the recovery room with me. He held my hand after it was over and came home with me to comfort me.. After the whole thing was said and done all I could do was come home an cry. My dad was not speaking to me before the abortion but the day I got it when I got home he started talking to me and gave me a hug because they got what they wanted. I didn’t. And now I am living with something I didn’t want to do that everyone else pressured me into, for the rest of my life. I regret it and I want my baby back. I should have never listened to them. I had no support though. My family, even my brother didn’t support my adoption idea and neither did My boyfriends parents or my boyfriend! He backed out on me and stopped supporting me. I felt like the whole world was against me.But if your pregnant and people are pushing you to do abort the child, do what you want. Do what you feel is right for you. Think about your baby. I was 3 months pregnant. And knowing what a fetus looks like at 3 months old, it’s heartbreaking. Think about it before you do it. You will have to live with it the rest of your life. Nobody will ever understand what you will go through after it’s all done. Abortion doesn’t make a baby go away, it just makes a dead baby. Please do what you feel is right. Don’t be pressured like me and everyone else that has been pressured into it and has told their story. It’s a painful procedure and I can’t understand how it is legal to kill innocent human beings. I am suffering so many emotions of sadness, grief, loss, guilt, shame, and anger. I am not myself anymore. I will never be the same.

 

-Anonymous

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96 comments

Laura T June 6, 2020 - 3:19 am

Awwww beautiful woman I am so sorry for your heartbreak. We certainly live in a fallen world that is so selfish to not accept another life to love it they view it is the wrong circumstance in their eyes or too much of a burden – which we have fallen away from Jesus who said He will always make a way. I also will forever carry the heartbreak in my family and I would do anything to go back and save my sisters baby when she was a teen and I think of her baby every day – and it’s been over 20 years. The only think I cling to is that the baby is in heaven and never had to suffer in this cruel world. We now have a baby in our family and I am so heartbroken still about the little one our family couldn’t open their hearts to or to at least give a chance for some other family to love. I wish I could hold you and cry with you and I am so sorry our society does not love and respect women and children. I hate that Satans lies have convinced people that abortion is a positive for women. I am sorry you had no support and you were forced into abortion, just as my mom did to my sister and it happened so fast that I wish I could go back and ask my sister if that is what she wanted – which I now know she did want to have her baby. God knows your heart. He forgives. And I believe all our lost babies are with Him in heaven.

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Anonymous November 10, 2020 - 2:15 am

You’re not alone. I regret mine, too. I was 34 when I did it at 6 weeks and 6 days. My baby would have just turned 10. I have two boys now ages 4 and 5. I try to reason that if I hadn’t made the choice I did they wouldn’t be here but it doesn’t lessen the pain.

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Naomi November 30, 2020 - 5:27 am

To my now dead child , and god I’m sorry . If I could go back I’d listen to me. It didn’t bother me at first but as I start my period again the grief comes along as well. I’m so sorry.

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Ellen December 4, 2020 - 5:18 pm

You are such a brave young lady to post this incredible personal story. I have no doubt that you will one day be an amazing mother to your other children. If there were more people with your intelligence and courage in the world, people would realize the gravity of killing sweet innocent babies. Thank you for your bravery. I hope you have forgiven yourself because God has. You are a beautiful soul. God bless you sweetie!

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Patricia cardenas January 18, 2021 - 10:33 am

Oh wow , this is so sad I got an abortion too because I was selfish and didn’t really care I mean I look back now and I was able to move on with my life knowing I didn’t make a mistake but just the thought that I ended a life before it got to grow any further I feel I am such a bad person

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Anonymous January 21, 2021 - 8:36 pm

That is so so sad . I’m soo sorry that you felt so pressured from your parents to kill your baby. Yes abortion is murder! They lie to a young woman for money in thier pockets. Just know that you will see your baby someday in heaven and that God will help you find peace again. Your baby had a soul and is at peace thank you for revealing the truth of the horror of abortion. It is permanent once you do it you cant undo it. Please if you are someone considering this seek help! There are caring people who can help you and your little baby!

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Anonymous January 24, 2021 - 11:10 am

So sad

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Rita January 30, 2021 - 6:12 pm

I know acactly how you feel Its been 28 years and I still feel like I murdered my precious baby I was 3 months also I can only hope God can forgive me and my precious baby Im so sorry you have to experience this pain also God bless you

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Anonymous January 30, 2021 - 8:26 pm

I had one when I was.19 and married. I already had a baby she was 9 months old. I was on the pill but I took antibiotics and the pill was null and void. No one told me that antibiotics would cause birth control pills to be ineffective. Anyway my husband at the time was in and out of jail and prison. He was wild as the wind. I decided it was best and I just couldn’t take on another baby. Now I’m 55 and I think about that baby every single day. I have ask God for forgiveness and I have never ever did anything like that again. I educate as much as I can. I’m a nurse also and I care for sick kids that families have given up for adoption because they couldn’t deal with it. I have a child that I care for that has spina bifida and cerebral palsy she is also paralyzed. They wanted the mother to abort her when she was 6.5 months pregnant. I asked the mother not to and I asked her to let me have her if she couldn’t deal with it. She brought her to me 3 months after she came home from the hospital. The child is 13 according to the doctors she wasn’t supposed to live past 6 months. I don’t know but maybe it was God giving me a second chance. Anyway this is my story. Please do not have an abortion you will NEVER EVER forget.

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Gina Paparella January 31, 2021 - 8:59 am

I am so sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine what you went through. It was not right. But Jesus loves you. Seek him pray to him. If I were you I would contact a pro-life center that offers post abortion counseling. These centers are not judgemental. They offer healing. God Bless!

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Charlene February 5, 2021 - 6:47 am

I too was in a similar situation. I went in believing at the time that I must be doing the right thing. I remember l laying on the table with my mind racing, imagining myself jumping up and running out the door. Yes, no, yes, no was constantly going through my mind about doing this. I remember the sound of the machine and the worst pain in five minutes I ever felt. Then going home and still feeling pregnant. Swollen breast had not gone down yet. Did it not work, I wondered and did I dare hope? Its been a lot of years and its something you never forget and the regret is with you the rest of your life. I’m so sorry for girls like the one in this article. Really I am because I lived it. No one can really understand until they’ve been there

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Luana February 7, 2021 - 7:23 pm

I need help dealing with my abortion its been 10 yrs and it still hurts

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Anonymous February 7, 2021 - 7:26 pm

I made a terrible mistake and I will never forgive myself. I killed an innocent child. My child. I wish I was educated and I wish someone would have offered their support. I wish to God I would have looked at that sonogram and then jumped off the table and ran out as fast as I could. It’s been 20 years and the shame and guilt and heartache only gets worse. I’m so sorry sweet baby

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Anonymous February 7, 2021 - 11:05 pm

This is horrible, I’m 45. I too was forced into one at 17. It never goes away.

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Kimberley February 14, 2021 - 11:10 am

Somebody help me heal . It’s been almost 18 years , it’s ruined my marriage, my relationship with my kids . I want my life back . How do I ever forgive myself?

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Anonymous February 14, 2021 - 12:20 pm

God is there for you.He forgives.He knows your heart and if you are truly repentant he will forgive you.No one is perfect.praying for you

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Anonymous February 16, 2021 - 10:29 am

How very sad. It’s true that the mothers are also victims of this horrific and barbaric practice we call “health care,” particularly when one so young as you are searching for help to address the issue toward an outcome that doesn’t need to involve abortion. Hugs and prayers for you, little lady. Seek God. He will heal your heart.

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Sandy February 16, 2021 - 2:42 pm

I had an abortion in the early 1970s.. unfortunately I did not have sexual health classes in catholic school, I know most people won’t believe this, but I was so naive that I thought my pregnancy at 10 weeks,, baby was just a “dot” I know it sounds absurd, but I really believed that… when the abortion was over, the ‘doctor” left the container by the side where I could see it,, I was freaked out..it wasn’t a “dot” why didn’t planned parenthood explained more to me? God I’ve been in heel for 40 years

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Kathy February 18, 2021 - 5:04 pm

I know your pain. I had 3 abortions. My heart was heart was set on wanting so badly to believe that it was a good decision for me each time. After my third, my heart was shattered into a million pieces. My world went dark. It was hard to get up and out of bed each day. It was hard to breathe because my heart was so heavy and broken….
Through some very improbable steps, ones that I wouldn’t have known to take on my own, I was led to a post-abortion bible study. I understand now that it was the Lord’s loving hand that walked me there. Through it I found freedom from the shame, the guilt, the self-hatred and the self-condemnation. God had shone the light of His love into my broken heart. With each week of the study He put my heart back together piece by piece.
This was 20 years ago, and my heart is still whole and my soul is still free.
You are not alone, this is not an unforgivable sin, you are worthy of God’s love.
You can find a post abortion bible study at most, if not all, community pregnancy centers.

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Sue February 19, 2021 - 6:56 pm

I had 2 babies by the time I was 16 I raised them both with an abusive husband. My mother told me I couldn’t keep the baby at home that I had to get married to keep the baby. After 18 years and a divorce I started to date again he was younger than me but after 2 years we became engaged. I got pregnant and he said to me if you keep it I will make your life a living he’ll and fight you by denying it is mine. In the meantime he was cheating on me and got another woman older than me pregnant which I didn’t know till later. I was alone and knew I just couldn’t go through with raising a baby all over again. So I made the horrible choice to abort I cried for months asking God to forgive me. That was 20 years ago and I still carry the guilt. I say oh in March he or she would be 21. But isn’t the man just as guilty I mean he got 2 women pregnant and didn’t want either one??

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Lisa February 20, 2021 - 5:05 pm

I had an abortion over 30 years ago and it has bothered me since. I always wondered what the child would look like or become. My worst decision ever to not have the baby

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Anonymous March 1, 2021 - 7:19 am

I am sorry you had to go through that and your parents was so unkind to you children should not have to go through this . your parents are selfish and only thinking of them self.

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Anonymous March 2, 2021 - 12:10 pm

I truly understand your pain and I carry my pain everyday. I got pregnant unexpectedly and my boyfriend was at the appointment with me when we found out I was pregnant. We agreed to have the baby and then a day or so later my boyfriend called and told me having the baby would be hard financially. I never wanted to have an abortion or had even thought of possibly having one. I didn’t want my baby to grow up in a toxic environment or I feel I allowed my boyfriend fear of having it get the best of me. I went on to have the abortion and it was the worse decision of my life. It’s been almost 3 years ago and I’m still dealing with the trauma from it. The emotions of guilt, sadness , depression, ashamed,etc. I should have done what I wanted to do which was not have the abortion at all. The procedure was painful and a horrible experience. Please anyone reading this don’t have an abortion if you truly don’t have to. All I want to do is hold my baby because I killed my baby.

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Anonymous March 4, 2021 - 8:49 pm

Jesus loves you your babies in heaven this is the truth your parents cant over rule jesus ask for forgiveness of everything be led through the sinners prayer follow jesus forever 1 day or night you will see your babies and raise him or her in heaven forgive your parents your boyfriend forgive yourself after you get right with jesus and enjoy knowing you are forgiven by jesus brother in christ I love you

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Jane March 9, 2021 - 10:26 pm

I too feel your sadness. Many women do. I drank the first pill and couldn’t come to terms with it as I was there. I was pressured by my boyfriend of almost a year and a half. I have already 3 children and while it seems like a lot, I also didn’t mind having another one if that’s what god wanted for me. I feel interrupted that process and feel I’ll be punished for it. I feel empty inside. I contacted a hotline to reverse it and said it’s only 68 percent effective, but I’m going to try. Although it may feel worse then because if it doesn’t work, I’ll feel like a failure. But I regretted it the moment I put that pill in my mouth. I wish I would have had more support and I didn’t. I’m not sure why I needed support or validation at 35, but i was trying to also be realistic with my situation. A single mom of 3 and potentially of 4 in a state where I know no one would make my life difficult but at the same time this is what I did and a life shouldn’t pay for our choices that we did not measure the consequences of.
I felt for you reading your story, but I hope you can overcome this and know next time, you won’t ever consider it not even for one second regardless of who’s supporting you. I know that if this happens to me again I won’t ever consider it because this empty feeling I have feels almost unbearable. I’ve broken down twice already almost as if in a panic because of this. I can’t come to terms with it. There are women that are okay with it and I wish I had that strength. I wish I would have encountered this article prior to this. I tried to find some online but all I found was people who did it and were glad they did it. Now I encounter this and wish I would have read it to avoid this feeling. Although I felt so pressured that I may have done it regardless and live in regret. That’s usually the lesson in life. Don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing. The moment of regret will always set in. Now I’m here hoping this reversal works.

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Nickole March 11, 2021 - 4:09 pm

It’s honestly the worst thing I have ever done. I was pressured too. I was in a tight spot but I would have made it work. As of January my baby would have been 4 years old. It still kills me to this day. I think of the what ifs and what could have beens. I get told to get over it but that’s something I don’t think I could ever do. I told god the morning of the abortion to please forgive me and watch over my baby. I rubbed my stomach and told my baby I was so sorry and I loved him(I believe it was going to be a boy cause he gave me hell) I was 3 months and I wish I could take it all back. I am a parent….I’m just a parent of an angel baby….I don’t understand how people were okay with it. How people who were far more into there pregnancy were smiling or acting like it was fine in that waiting room. How can you be okay with killing a child, a human being…. I regret it each and every day.

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D March 11, 2021 - 7:30 pm

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. My ex boyfriend also pressured me to have an abortion. I have tried to commit suicide because of it, ive ended up homeless and given up on my life because of it, and yeah. It is a horrific thing. But I have come to realize that it isnt my fault or your fault that no one listened, helped or cared. Your man shouldve stepped up. It is actually his fault. Abortion is murder and is a horrible thing. I will pray for you that you find a GOOD MAN who can take care of you so you can have another baby. Or that your baby’s soul can come back from Heaven. I do believe in miracles. Jesus saved me from my abortion pain. Just remember, Jesus Christ came back from the DEAD. so ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. GOD BLESS YOU AND IM SORRY YOU WERE WITH A MAN WHO WAS NOT THERE FOR YOU. YOU DESERVE A LOT MORE THAN THIS AND I PRAY THAT YOU WILL RECEIVE IT. AND YOU WILL! you are now in my heart forever ! A MIRACLE IS COMING !

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Anonymous March 25, 2021 - 8:22 pm

Thank you..I never really excepted it myself but had no time to think about what I wanted and I was so sick all the time..I was 15 and scared and now I’m 30 with a 8 year old and I regret not sticking up for my baby when no one else wanted it.i always wanted my baby…To my baby I hope you forgive me and I have always loved you..not one day I haven’t thought about you

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Cristal March 29, 2021 - 10:12 am

I am so sorry for the heartache you have to live with. I also had an abortion at the age of 17 because I was pressured into it. My boyfriend of 2 years at the time said he was too young to be a father and a baby would ruin his life, so I went through with it. I cried for days afterwards,
and he left me 4 months later. To this day I still live with the pain and regret, I cry whenI think about the baby. I now have 4 beautiful children and a husband of 17 years, but it is a pain that never goes away. I wonder what he or she would look like, or how different my life would be. I will keep you in my prayers, that God will give you comfort and help you try and forgive yourself. I am still trying myself. God bless you

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Mamu March 30, 2021 - 11:27 pm

Thanks you really helped me , I did aborted 15 ag for stupid reasons, got my life together got married for 5 but not a kid I fog pregnant 3times and it goes to miscarriage,
As I am dying inside to have a bby and dealing with the gilts of my past I started thinking maybe God is punishing me for what I did On the other hand I also have a cheating husband that I just got rid of one month ago and I found out am pregnant my brain and anger of being cheated to was busy telling me just abort it and move on with your life ,
Until when I read your testimony,
I am keeping my bby to hell the marriage and the husband my bby is everything!
Thanks so much for your testimony

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Larry April 4, 2021 - 8:30 am

My daughter became pregnant at 15, unlike your father I didn’t threaten to kick her out. I was not happy but now that little boy is 15 and my best friend, abortion is never an option for me and I’m sorry you mother and father forgot their duty to love you unconditionally, God makes no mistakes, your child no doubt had a place in this world, but take solace in knowing he/she doesn’t have to grow up in these horrible times

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Adrienne April 4, 2021 - 8:00 pm

I too had an abortion 49 years ago. It occurred months after Roe v Wade became legal in my state. I was 18, and just started college. Planned Parenthood really pushed abortions on young college women at that time. I decided to abort at 6 weeks because I felt that I couldn’t put my father through the shame of getting pregnant in my first semester of school, since I was the first in my family for several generations who went to college. Years later I was able to make the connection that my deep depression and sense of shame that followed me for many years was a result of the abortion. I’ve learned that God is forgiving and merciful, however, aborting my child is something that still make me ashamed to talk about.

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Thomas April 5, 2021 - 6:56 pm

I pressured my girlfriend in 1977 to get an abortion. I married the woman 3 years later and we have been together 40 years one big deep down problem, that I kept buried for years was the guilt from being responsible for talking my innocent future wife into killing our child. God has forgiven me but I can’t forgive me.i’m told I will meet this child someday and that prospect shatters me. Anybody out there reads this that is contemplating abortion, don’t do it! Have the child and put it up for adoption, don’t kill it, if you have any kind of consciousness it will eat you alive later in life, don’t do it.

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Aznasimage April 8, 2021 - 1:12 pm

I love you.

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V Mighells April 10, 2021 - 4:00 pm

Hey anonymous, I know how you feel Sweetheart. Me too, but I was 16 and my sister guilted me into it. I’m 55 now. I have a son who is 28. It killed me inside to tell him, he would’ve had an older sibling. There should never have been the Abortion “option” to begin with. Time heals but this will always stay with you. You must go to Jesus and ask forgiveness and for help in forgiving yourself. My heart is right there with you honey. Try not to beat yourself into the ground. It doesn’t work, I’ve tried it. Take the lesson and take control of your choices. I’m sorry your parents weren’t there for you. This I do know, Jesus does Exist and there is healing and forgiveness. He has “All” if those babies in his arms. Remember, what you have been through can help someone else who may struggle with this same problem. Use it to encourage a good outcome. God Bless you in your future with Peace and lots of Babies to Love. You are going to be alright. V

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Gena April 10, 2021 - 5:23 pm

Sweet girl, you are not alone. I am so sorry you went through this. I was 17 when my mom coerced me to have an abortion. I am now 51 and still cry and regret this decision everyday. I pray my baby forgives me. Love and acceptance to you xo

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ariana April 16, 2021 - 6:14 pm

i’m a month pregnant and i’ve thought about abortion for the past couple of weeks because i’m 16. my boyfriends mom has made it very clear that she wants me to have an abortion and my boyfriend remains neutral about the situation my parents are upset and they say i have their support but i don’t even know if i want it all there is; is anger between me and my dad and how is it fair to my mom to take care of my baby while i have to go out and get an education i feel very conflicted and confused i can make all of the fighting and pain for others go away. but i love my baby and i don’t know if i could live with myself if i stopped my baby’s heart.

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Cynthia April 18, 2021 - 11:52 am

I had an abortion 27years ago. I was doing drugs and in a abusive relationship. I tried to kill myself later that year. I was so hopeless. I still cry when I think about what I have done. I murdered my child. I got pregnant again while on birth control and of course the man and his family wanted me to get an abortion but I got locked up and stayed in jail past the time to get one. Praise God. I know it was God who put me there. I had a son who is the love of my life. I know I’m forgiven by the grace of Jesus and I have to repent to remove my shame because the devil is cruel. One day I will get to see my son or my daughter and get to tell them how sorry I am and how much in love them. But until then, I live with that day but also I stand on every pro-life issue so no one has to go through that. They don’t tell you how much you will miss that child and the emptiness it brings in your life.

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Darla April 21, 2021 - 11:46 am

I am 57 now. I had a abortion when i was 25. I had 2 children already. My husband now my boyfriend then did not want the abortion. I did not either, but my mom was helping me and she would of had a fit. I Prayed and Prayed for JESUS CHRIST TO FORGIVE. ME HE HAD. I HAD TO FORGIVE MYSELF. WITH HIS GRACE I DID. I would not recommend a abortion for anyone. Also after wards i about bled to death went into shock. It was horrible.

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Anonymous April 27, 2021 - 2:07 pm

Thank God I went for adoption instead..I couldn’t have lived with myself if I had an abortion. The great news is that we were reunited after 50 years and it was instant love.

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Koriee May 5, 2021 - 8:38 pm

My boyfriend of 3 years is trying to force me into a second abortion because “he’s not ready”. It’s always HIM and never about ME and how I feel. After my second abortion I screamed, cried & pleaded for forgiveness. Now I’m pregnant again and I refuse to get one. But I know if I get an abortion it will only keep leading to another abortion and another abortion because “he’s not ready”. I also understand if I keep this baby we won’t be together and I’m fine with that.

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Theresa May 6, 2021 - 8:31 am

I pray for your healing and for mine. Good bless you. Thank you for writing your story.

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Samantha May 10, 2021 - 10:44 pm

Your baby is NOT dead, just in a place of peace and absolute PURE LOVE. Death does not exist. Don’t worry or beat yourself up over this anymore. There is no need for anger or remorse or guilt. You will be reunited someday.

For now, honor your unborn child by having a good and joyful and productive life. Show compassion and love to others. That soul will come back to you if it is meant to be so. Go in peace and absolute love because that is what your child and the Divine Source of All want for you.

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B. Lokey May 21, 2021 - 10:05 am

It is amazing that humanity has stooped so low into the very sewage beneath gutters that a girl’s mother and father could be do abominable as to cheer the murder/butchery of their own grandchildren. Humanity is on the way OUT of life on the way to HELL.

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Darla May 21, 2021 - 1:49 pm

There is a place for abortion healing. It’s called Rachel’s Vinyard.Please check it out for post abortion healing.God bless.+++

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Anonymous May 31, 2021 - 6:44 pm

I am so sorry you went through that, I also went through that last month. My then boyfriend told me he can’t be with me if I continue with the pregnancy. I didn’t have a choice because I’m in a foreign country with no family he was my only support and he took advantage of that. I was so broken and even lost myself, I had to fight to get my personality back and be happy again. I decided to cut him off my life for good.

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By His stripes I am healed June 2, 2021 - 10:09 am

I was 15 too. Trapped in an abusive relationship with a grown man. I wanted to get away from him and keep my baby. I had no support and no where to go. My sister told me it would be for the best. I told her I didn’t want to do it. I should have fought harder. I sobbed the entire way to planned parenthood. I was so upset I started bleeding heavily. When they took me back to the “ operating area” ( it was just a big room divided by curtains) I told the nurse I didn’t want to go through with it. She gave me something to calm me down, and I continued crying and trying to get off the table. I will never forget her face. She looked me in the eyes and and said “ you don’t want to do this do you?” I said no and she held my hand. The Dr came in. He said nothing and began the procedure. I am haunted not knowing if I was having a miscarriage or if my baby was still alive. I have regretted this EVER SINGLE DAY of my life! If you are thinking of abortion , PLEASE seek out adoption. There are so many people who would happily cover your living expenses etc for the chance to love your baby. There are options! Even if you are all alone, there are resources to help you. Do NOT believe the lies that mainstream media and PP want you to believe. They are evil and want to destroy God’s creation. I pray God forgives me and that someday I’ll see my baby in heaven. It’s been 26 years and I will never forget.

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Baljit June 8, 2021 - 1:47 am

I went to planned parenthood to confirm my pregnancy this was back in 2007. They told me i am pregnant but its in the fallopian tube abd it’s dangerous and to get an abortion i was so panicked and sad so i setup an appointment in Sutter health hospital.they also ran some test snd said the same,they gave me an injection after some time,i had the abortion.after some time they told me it was a normal pregnancy snd it was already too late i was already heartbroken and this left me in emotional distress and wreck!!

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Gege June 21, 2021 - 2:20 am

God bless you I’m sorry you had to endure that I feel your pain . Please stay strong

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Chris June 21, 2021 - 2:51 pm

Having an abortion never sat right with me. I was immature and didn’t think I was capable of being a mother. Now 8 years later I find no peace and have never been the same since I left the clinic. It was by far the biggest mistake and regret. I drink to try and forget but it doesn’t help. Nothing helps. I feel horrible and miss the baby so much. It makes me sick. I would never do this again.

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Cindy June 22, 2021 - 7:44 pm

I to had an abortion at 17 to this very day it haunts me l have never forgiven my self letting my so called boy friend talk me in to it. I pray to God every nite to forever me I am.now 62. It has changed my l life from doing it but l do have a very awesome son who is 36 .

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Anonymous June 23, 2021 - 9:34 pm

When I got pregnant at 17 the clinic tried to convince me to have an abortion I said no, I was scared to tell my mom I was pregnant, so I ranaway and couch surfed with my boyfriend.by the time I was 24 I had 4 children. I am so happy I didn’t let anybody convince me.i four kids and ten grandkids now. Abortion is never an option their are so many people who want kids but can’t have any. Give been married to the after of my kids 40 yrs. DONT let anyone convince you to have abortiontheir not the ones that have live with regret.

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guadalupe June 24, 2021 - 11:19 am

I had a abortion, feel bad , I had drinking problem. Hope god for gives me. I hope his grace will give me a baby .

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Karen June 24, 2021 - 9:38 pm

I’m 61. I remember every June that it’s his or hers birthday. It hurt so bad. No one understands. I wish I could start a house where young unmarried mothers can come to and stay where they feel comfortable. They could have their baby’s. A job could be found for them and help
Them get on their feet.

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Joanna July 2, 2021 - 5:08 pm

Joanna Panzera said “I am really sorry you had to go through that and I think you are strong and beautiful for sharing your story. I think you have a big heart and I am sorry it is hurting. I hate your parents for being selfish and not open minded.”

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Lilly July 2, 2021 - 9:23 pm

I went through the same thing at 17. In addition I was never allowed to see my boyfriend again. I am a 62 yr old woman & I was never able to concieve another child. I was not given an option. Your abortion was a major turning point in my life.

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Fefe July 6, 2021 - 9:19 pm

I had an abortion a week ago and iam grivieng just like you I understand your pain please forgive yourself !

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Lori R July 9, 2021 - 11:03 am

Please look up Deeperstill and attend a retreat. Best thing I ever did.

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Anonymous July 11, 2021 - 2:49 pm

I am so sorry for you I too had gone through the same experience, it has been 50 years today of a pain, guilt and sadness that have not gone away and I know it will never leave. I take this pain as a punishment for been immature , week , selfish. I have been asking God and Mother Mary to forgive me every day since, I do hope they do.
We were young and had to listen to our parents, I learn from that painful experience that my parents truly never loved me, to be strong to raise my two children on my own in my 30’s after a divorce. I talked with my children a lot about consequences of immature relationships and I let them know that I will be there for them no matter what and for them to be strong , loving , positive if they were ever in that situation, thank God they listen.
God bless you, God Bless all of us

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Anonymous July 14, 2021 - 6:21 pm

This is so heartbreaking and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

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Sarah G July 20, 2021 - 3:08 am

I know the feelings but God got you.. remember that all the days of your life ask for forgiveness… and ask him to heal you in forever.

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Mona July 26, 2021 - 1:41 am

It’s 2021, and the same exact thing happened to me. Only difference is that I’m 25 and my angel baby’s father was never my boyfriend. It hurts. Nothing has ever hurt and broken me so much as the abortion. I wish and yearn for my baby everyday. I’m feeling everything you felt. I wish I had read this before….

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Anonymous July 26, 2021 - 8:56 am

I just cried and those emotions resurfaced last night. I had 3 between the years of 2005 and 2007 and I’m still hurting from it. I’m now 42 and I was in my mid to late 20’s back then. I hate myself for it and every relationship I get into suffers from my emotions from it. Over the years I’ve lost my joy and I think I need counseling.. I’m sorry that happened to you. I wouldn’t wish the pain and grief on anyone from doing it.

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Anonymous July 26, 2021 - 10:56 pm

I am so very sorry. My daughters both had abortions, thinking they were doing the right thing, and were traumatized by them. I told my daughters what I believe: they did the best they thought they could at the time, and their babies are waiting for them in the afterlife. I did not want them to end their pregnancies and they were offered all the love and help in the world. Please, try and find a counselor or trusted friend to talk to. I wish you peace.

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Ajita July 27, 2021 - 12:00 am

I am so very sorry and hope you can come to a place where you do not judge yourself anymore. Women are pressured every day by people who are not the ones who have to go through the procedure, or live with the pain and sadness. I know women who said they felt their abortions were the right thing at the time, and then many years later, experience sadness and regret. My own daughters had abortions; nobody in the family believes me, but I know my younger daughter’s abortions (at least 3) left her heartbroken for a long time. She went on in life and had two lovely little girls. My elder daughter very much regrets her abortion also. I hope that there is someone in your life who will listen without judgement and be present with you in your sadness and pain. Nobody really knows why we are called on in this life to bear such tragedies, but I am sure your sharing here has helped other women, and given them a space to share their own loss (look at how many people have seen it and responded since you originally wrote it). I wish you luck and grace on your journey through this. You are loved.

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Xochil July 27, 2021 - 11:46 pm

I can definitely relate how society put this burden and doesn’t allow us to have children freely, I hope we make a better world for our children to be born and live in.
Having an abortion is the most an excruciating pain, physically and mentally. I recall feeling the baby detaching from me and bleeding for endless days, it was like giving birth but with no baby. No one new about it, so I had to carry on like nothing was happening. But it got to a point where I could carry on I couldn’t cope with the grive of my unborn, the guild of not being brave enough to be a single mother and raise my child of not going against society’s norms. I had to take some time of work and grive, cry my heart out and seek counseling to help me understand and cope with what I was going through. Thanks to that I was able to drive and forgive myself. I prayed a lot to know if my baby was safe and one day crying at the river calling upon my baby a playful humming bird came and hanged out with me for a good hours, to me it was a signed I interpret as my baby saying it was safe and happy. I set up and altar where I put flowers and shells stones water anything what I like to offer and pray for my unborn. I also started to believe in reincarnation and I know my baby will come back to me healthy, in a loving home. This thinking helps me be okay and move forward. I now am more cautious and careful about my relationships because although I had use protection and tried my best to not become pregnant it still failed, I been abstinent because I wouldn’t go through this again. But I hope everyone who experiences a lost can look and move forward in a healthy way, I am still battle ling with my inner depression but every day I try to be better this is how I honor my unborn. I know my guardian angel loves me and protects me and it will come back to me.❤️

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Anonymous July 29, 2021 - 12:15 pm

Ask God for forgivness. So you can forgive yourself. God will or I should say already has because you are sorry for what you did. Weall are sinners. And Jesus came to save us from our sins. God loves you soooo much.

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Anonymous August 5, 2021 - 10:57 am

Aubrey it’s not your fault. You were only 15. Your parents and his parents were at fault. They were the adults they held the power. They forced you to do it, and they are the ones that killed your baby. Forgive yourself and know that God knows your heart.

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Anonymous August 14, 2021 - 5:21 pm

You are forgiven.

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Anonymous August 16, 2021 - 10:46 pm

God forgives all sins, even abortion. Come to Jesus and he will set you free of your guilt ✝️❤️ He does not want you to continue to suffer, he wants you to repent of your sins and come to him. God forgives and he loves you ❤️

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Christine M August 28, 2021 - 6:27 am

You are so right. It was the biggest mistake I ever made

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Anonymous September 2, 2021 - 2:25 pm

I am so sorry for what you were made to do. I hope you can find comfort and know that your baby is in good hands with our loving father. God has forgiven you. You were just a child. You know what you would of done if given the chose. Bless you , you have a good heart God sees this, God knows all.

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Anonymous September 3, 2021 - 12:50 pm

I am sorry to hear that this happened to you, I am not a woman, but my wife and I did discuss abortion when she got pregnant, we were both 18 at the time. We decided that morally it wasn’t something we were okay with, we now have two beautiful boys and it hurts us both everyday that we even thought to do it. We live in a very messed up society that tries to make us feel as though we must conform to the will of others. Trust your instincts ladies.

Sincerely,
Just some random guy

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Anonymous September 6, 2021 - 9:29 pm

I understand completely it never goes away.

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Sylvia Ann T September 10, 2021 - 3:50 pm

GOD had already forgiven you.Please forgive yourself.Your baby is alive in HEAVEN.If you’re a born again believer and you have received JESUS as your LORD AND SAVIOR.You will see your baby again.He or she is waiting on you in HEAVEN.IN THE NAME OF JESUS and through HIS precious BLOOD!*HALLELUJAH,AMEN!* GLORY TO GOD!* GLORY TO JESUS!* PRAISE GOD!* PRAISE JESUS!*

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Anonymous September 11, 2021 - 5:24 pm

I’m a 65 year old man that took part in 2 abortions
Over 45 years ago !The emotional pain has gotten worse over the years ! The thought of what I did is with me every day ! Some days I weep over what I did ! I know God has forgiven me and I will see them in heaven!
God has been more merciful to me then I have ever been to anyone ! Praise be to the father ! Study your bible and draw close to the Lord ! See you in heaven !!!

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Dani September 22, 2021 - 1:16 am

I just found your post and I thought for many years that I was alone. I went through a very similar situation and I too was 12 weeks along. I have never healed and things have gotten a little better over time but I will truly never be the same and other people don’t understand the pain and suffering a situation like this causes. I just wanted to let you too know that you are not alone. I am so sorry for your loss and I am praying for you. ✨

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VaNessA September 23, 2021 - 10:08 pm

September 23 2021. And I had an abortion at 5months , iam so Sad & wish I could have kept the baby she was a girl. I wish I would went to a shelter for pregnant and home less women like me because I felt alone and iam always alone I got an abortion because I thought it was safe. The doctor there said it was safe. And that I can still get pregnant after my Abortion . But still iam sad… And wish I kept her she was gonna be born on February 11,2022… I did not feel the pain until I woke up in the recovery room and knew that my 20week baby was not in side my womb any more, because I let the Dr. Do the abortion on me…EVen ThOUGH I DiD NOT KnW WHo THE FATHeR WAs I KNOW I SHOuLD OF PROTECTED MY DAUGhTER CAUsE THaTs WHaT AYy GOoD MOm DOES…IAM ALSO HURtINg…AND Iam IN ALOT OF Pain…..I HAVe NO FRiENDs OR FAmILY WHo HElp ME OR TAlK TO Me CAUSE IDOnT KNoW Why….i Know I KILED MY BABY…

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Anonymous September 24, 2021 - 9:33 pm

My heart breaks. I regret mine 30 years ago. I wish I had been brave and strong enough to refuse the menstrual extraction. I have asked God to forgive me and He has but I struggle to forgive myself. It’s awful and empty

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Law September 28, 2021 - 1:49 pm

I really hate that they pressured her to kill her baby i know my mother was pressured to abort me and she fought for my life and she died 3x and the lord Jesus christ of Nazareth said that she had to come back to help raise us and 24 years later he took her back home.

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Anonymous October 2, 2021 - 9:17 am

God be with you sweet girl Let It Go God’s got your baby

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Bdub October 3, 2021 - 9:56 am

I’m so sorry for u. I am 40 and have already had one career that was successful… And was in law school going for a second when I got pregnant WHILE on depo… It’s not the ideal situation but I don’t think I’d be me anymore if I ended the pregnancy. I googled regretted abortions and this came up. No one is telling me to do it… Only saying it may be best.. But I think u just saved my baby’s life. Thank you n I love u… May sound crazy… But u helped a complete stranger and I thank you so much.

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Elizabeth C. October 8, 2021 - 4:46 pm

Oh sweet girl, I COMPLETELY understand. I am now almost 53, and I, too, became pregnant at 15. I was so so naive!! My Mom was being the best Mom she knew how to be at that time when she said she’d figure out how I could terminate my pregnancy without my wealthy, powerful father finding out. I was terrified!! I loved my Dad, but I absolutely knew how he could be, and I was actually more afraid for my Mom than for myself. But I have regretted it every single day since. My soul was never whole again, and never ever will be. I now have two beautiful, brilliant, kind, amazing daughters who are 18 and 20.
But who knows, I could have had three…
I love you, sweet girl. We belong to a sadly special club, who no one should ever want to be a member of.

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Carrie A M. October 11, 2021 - 11:15 am

I understand 100 percent. I am now a full blooded Christian saved by Jesus Christ. I repented for my murder. He forgave me and I will see my twin girls when I join them in heaven. You can have the same. I promise there is away to escape the beatings you get in your mind. Bless all who mourn for there is a true comforter. Bend your knees and talk to Jesus!

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Dolly B. October 13, 2021 - 10:21 pm

I would just like to say, your testimony is important. And you need to be screaming your story from the roof tops. I knew other women suffer with their choice like my mother, but I had no idea how painful it would be to actually read these testimonies. My mother saved her grand babies life with her abortion testimony. When I had an unplanned pregnancy in college, I vented to my mom on the topic of abortion. I will NEVER forget the pain in her eyes as she held back tears and took my hand and plainly said, “I don’t want that guilt for you. I’m here.” She saved her grand babies life with the truth. And that baby saved my life. Being honest about the pain she lived with saved two lives in one swing. I have no doubt your testimonies will save others too. If pro choice cares about women, they need to care about women like you too. Don’t ever stop sharing your stories. You will save lives. God bless you all my sisters. Trust in his plan.

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Judi M. October 14, 2021 - 9:42 am

Unfortunately, I was in your exact situation Except I was 13. My parents dragged me from abortion clinic to abortion clinic. Until they took me to a clinic that put me under. I told the nurses I didn’t want it. The put me under anyways. I mourn my baby. I was 14wks. I was so scared. My Mother called it “the mistake” I still bear the mental scars

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Anonymous October 20, 2021 - 7:56 am

Oh my dear, I’m so sorry. Renounce/repent and ask for forgiveness from the Lord and He will forgive you. You should seek deliverance after that to remove all of the evil spirits that entered from that sin. Especially Lilith. God bless you!

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S.G October 24, 2021 - 8:16 pm

After 5 years I still cry so freaking hard over my forced abortion. I beg god for forgiveness and have not still forgiven myself for being weak. I still can’t get over the fact that it was my own husband that says he loves me that forced me to do an abortion simply because he thought we were not ready financially. To whomever is reading this and wants to do abortion, please save yourself and your baby from the evil called “fear”…you are strong and can even do it alone….I love my aborted baby and I hope he/she can forgive me for this horrendous evil act. I’m very heartbroken from it, and time does not heal it….you will never forget. Please trust your motherly instincts and keep your baby, even if the whole world is against you!….

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Lynn October 27, 2021 - 5:51 pm

Anonymous, I am so sorry you were left to carry all that pain. The parents and boyfriend are not the one who have to live with that. I will keep you in my prayers. Forgive yourself, they pressured you until you felt you had no choice.

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Ann November 2, 2021 - 6:59 pm

67 and still regret what I did in my twenties. The older I get the worse I feel. I pray for their little souls.

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Julie November 5, 2021 - 8:12 pm

I am in a situation where my husband is forcing me to get an abortion or he will leave me. I don’t want to make decisions under pressure. I don’t want to live with resentment and hurt afterwards.
No one has seen the future but do I want to raise this baby alone. It is a little healthy baby girl.

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Isauna C. November 6, 2021 - 9:31 am

If you are pregnant you have a baby a living human being inside of you Babies are a gift from God A blessing Who knows what they’ll become The next Pastor President Dr Artist Worship Leader etc. God has a purpose for you and your baby and that includes the father of the baby Some mother’s to be are alone the father wants nothing to do with the mother or baby That’s ok cause all you really need is God yes you need your family but if they are not there for you You know you can always count on God He loves you and your baby and will give you wisdom and will help you raise your baby God will provide all you need all you have to do is ask Him Nothing is impossible for Him Don’t have an abortion you will regret it You will never forget it hurts and you will think about your baby when you see babies children teens adults as the years go by and you think of how old they would be on the day of the abortion that you did I know cause I had one He or she would of been 31 years old this year God does forgive us but it’s something that I truly regret doing I am blessed with four sons they are men now 33,31,23,21 They are a blessing 2 are police officers 2 Amazon Drivers and I’m so very proud of them I have 6 grandchildren 4 girls 2 boys and I love them all I am married and I love my family I thank God for His blessing of a family and thankful that He always provides for every need We are a blessed family You can have it too All you have to do is ask and you’ll receive He loves you and wants the best for you I pray this helps you to do what is right in God’s eyes

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Daisy November 6, 2021 - 5:04 pm

I understand you please don’t feel angry it’s not your fault I promise I feel everyday sadness for what I did I also had no support I am sorry

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Anonymous November 8, 2021 - 10:12 pm

Keep my baby. She is the best thing that I’ve ever done. She is now grown and away at college. Please find a way to keep your baby

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Valessa S. November 13, 2021 - 12:12 am

Hi I just found out that I’m pregnant & I’m being pressured to get an abortion by the baby father & I don’t want to do it

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Sandra December 2, 2021 - 10:00 am

I didn’t know, how this would haunt me for over 40years well actually for my whole life I’m 63 now and still regret that horrible choice. I had no support no one but me and an abortion clinic who convinced me I would be a horrible parent, because I was depressed! But my mom just died I thought that’s normal but not back then ? During the procedure the only word said was (oh its a boy) then it was over and Dr Glick was gone. I was given orange juice and told to get dressed and escorted to side door, where my little brother was waiting. Went home passed out sick 4 a week? I never got pregnant again So whatever happened in that place was permanent 4 me. I just didn’t know!

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