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I will Never be the Same

by Admin
Hi, my name is Aubrey. I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant. I turned 16 in October, i waited until november to go to planned parenthood and get tested. I got pregnant in september of 2011. I told my boyfriend that I was suspecting I was pregnant because I had spotting a week before my period was due and that was not normal. After I missed my period I waited 2 weeks to take a pregnancy test. I took it and sure enough I was pregnant. I waited a month to tell my parents because I had to come to grips with the situation I was in. I found out November 21 2011 I was pregnant. I told my parents December 11. That Friday they pressured me to have an abortion. I had from Monday December 12 until that Friday morning December 16 to try and handle what I was going to be put through.


Everytime I told my boyfriend I wanted to tell my parents he kept telling me to hold off for a little longer so he could tell his dad. Well after a week or 2 of pushing that back I couldnt keep it from my parents anymore. I told my mom on a sunday night by giving her the test result on paper from planned parenthood. That night I had to tell my dad when he got home from work and my mom called my boyfriends dad before he told him. They were so angry and they started telling me that I am not keeping this mistake and that they don’t want this grandchild because it wasn’t concieved out of love. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now. My parents told me I had one option, abortion or get kicked out of the house and go to a shelter in the city.


I didnt want to have to move out, never see my boyfriend again and go to a new school and be pregnant. My boyfriends dad and step mom came over Monday night the night after I told my mom and they all told me I have to get an abortion or it’s going to wreck everyones life. My boyfriend supported me and my thought for adoption. But once his dad came to talk to me and my mom he changed his mind and told me I should get one. The next day my mom called the planned parenthood and made an appointment for that coming friday for me to have an abortion. I will never forget having to wake up at 5 am to get there for an 8 am appointment to do something I didn’t want to do but I felt like I ha no choice to do.My mom told me they would do an ultra sound and that I am not to look at it because she didn’t want me to know what was there. I didn’t want the abortion. It was my baby and I stopped fighting for it. I never should have done it. My boyfriend told me he didn’t see us together anymore if I would have continued the pregnancy. My boyfriend was there for the abortion in the waiting room because he wasn’t allowed in the recovery room with me. He held my hand after it was over and came home with me to comfort me.. After the whole thing was said and done all I could do was come home an cry. My dad was not speaking to me before the abortion but the day I got it when I got home he started talking to me and gave me a hug because they got what they wanted. I didn’t. And now I am living with something I didn’t want to do that everyone else pressured me into, for the rest of my life. I regret it and I want my baby back. I should have never listened to them. I had no support though. My family, even my brother didn’t support my adoption idea and neither did My boyfriends parents or my boyfriend! He backed out on me and stopped supporting me. I felt like the whole world was against me.But if your pregnant and people are pushing you to do abort the child, do what you want. Do what you feel is right for you. Think about your baby. I was 3 months pregnant. And knowing what a fetus looks like at 3 months old, it’s heartbreaking. Think about it before you do it. You will have to live with it the rest of your life. Nobody will ever understand what you will go through after it’s all done. Abortion doesn’t make a baby go away, it just makes a dead baby. Please do what you feel is right. Don’t be pressured like me and everyone else that has been pressured into it and has told their story. It’s a painful procedure and I can’t understand how it is legal to kill innocent human beings. I am suffering so many emotions of sadness, grief, loss, guilt, shame, and anger. I am not myself anymore. I will never be the same.




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Laura T June 6, 2020 - 3:19 am

Awwww beautiful woman I am so sorry for your heartbreak. We certainly live in a fallen world that is so selfish to not accept another life to love it they view it is the wrong circumstance in their eyes or too much of a burden – which we have fallen away from Jesus who said He will always make a way. I also will forever carry the heartbreak in my family and I would do anything to go back and save my sisters baby when she was a teen and I think of her baby every day – and it’s been over 20 years. The only think I cling to is that the baby is in heaven and never had to suffer in this cruel world. We now have a baby in our family and I am so heartbroken still about the little one our family couldn’t open their hearts to or to at least give a chance for some other family to love. I wish I could hold you and cry with you and I am so sorry our society does not love and respect women and children. I hate that Satans lies have convinced people that abortion is a positive for women. I am sorry you had no support and you were forced into abortion, just as my mom did to my sister and it happened so fast that I wish I could go back and ask my sister if that is what she wanted – which I now know she did want to have her baby. God knows your heart. He forgives. And I believe all our lost babies are with Him in heaven.

Anonymous November 10, 2020 - 2:15 am

You’re not alone. I regret mine, too. I was 34 when I did it at 6 weeks and 6 days. My baby would have just turned 10. I have two boys now ages 4 and 5. I try to reason that if I hadn’t made the choice I did they wouldn’t be here but it doesn’t lessen the pain.

Naomi November 30, 2020 - 5:27 am

To my now dead child , and god I’m sorry . If I could go back I’d listen to me. It didn’t bother me at first but as I start my period again the grief comes along as well. I’m so sorry.

Ellen December 4, 2020 - 5:18 pm

You are such a brave young lady to post this incredible personal story. I have no doubt that you will one day be an amazing mother to your other children. If there were more people with your intelligence and courage in the world, people would realize the gravity of killing sweet innocent babies. Thank you for your bravery. I hope you have forgiven yourself because God has. You are a beautiful soul. God bless you sweetie!

Patricia cardenas January 18, 2021 - 10:33 am

Oh wow , this is so sad I got an abortion too because I was selfish and didn’t really care I mean I look back now and I was able to move on with my life knowing I didn’t make a mistake but just the thought that I ended a life before it got to grow any further I feel I am such a bad person