All Testimonials

If you are pregnant and scared, there are options. Abortion is NOT the answer. Please please please do not do it. I plead with you. You will regret it. It is NOT an ‘easy’ fix. Do not believe the lies. I wish I could go back and get my baby back. My partner wasn’t ready and I was scared and a coward. I got swept away because he wasn’t ready and I blame myself for not being stronger. I wasn’t that far along. I miss my baby every day. The grief I feel is overwhelming. I wish I was stronger. I am now seeking therapy because I cannot handle the reality of our horrible decision. I want to die every day. I plead with God to take me away from this nightmare so that I can be with my baby. I just want to be with my baby. My partner and I are not doing well. I would have been better off with the reality that he wasn’t ready then living in this reality. Because this is a nightmare. She came to me in a dream. She is so beautiful and I will never be able to cuddle her. I intended on burying my feelings but I can’t figure out a way to live so I reached out for help. I don’t see a reason for living. I have lost my will to live. I wish I was stronger and better. PLEASE PLEASE don’t do it. I beg you. I implore you. It’s not worth it. I am 100000% pro-life. This reality is a nightmare. Don’t do this to yourself. My biggest worry is that I won’t be able to have children now. I wish I could go back. Please please please don’t do it. Please.

I was 35 years old when I became pregnant. This was my first pregnancy at it was all that I wanted except for the wrong partner and terrible timing. I just met my son’s biological father one month prior online and got pregnant the 2nd night we were together. My parents didn’t like him before they even met him which was once. He lied to me about wanting more children, about being 10 years younger and so much more. When I told him I was pregnant he went ballistic demanding I get an abortion or give my child up for adoption. He dumped me because I refused and warned me he can’t continue the relationship since I’m choosing my child over him. Throughout my pregnancy I felt lonely and scared. But I knew GD is giving me a child for a reason. I gave birth in January, 2020 and at that moment my life changed. Everytime I hold my son I thank GD for giving him to me. He is perfect and healthy, so sweet and caring. Determined and courageous. I couldn’t be more happy with my decision and for not letting any man control my destiny and have power over my life. If a man doesn’t want a baby they need to discuss what will happen before engaging in an intimate relationship with a partner. They also have a choice to use a condom or vasectomy. Right now we are in court for child support because my son deserves the best in life.

I’m married for 21years to an abusive man . I met this man for 6weeks and realized I was pregnant . I wanted to get abortion because I did not know anything about him and we were not in loved . My Christian religion is against abortion and I’m against abortion, but I find myself in situations and the only option was to do abortion. I go pregnant at 24years , as an immigrant in Canada I had no family members around and no job . I pleaded for this man support me to abort the pregnancy and he said no . I told him I will find money without his help and have the baby removed, but after he mentioned to me if I removed his baby I would die in the process of abortion . I thought he wanted to have the baby by all mean he would have said that perhaps he cared , but I was scared.? I think he played with my emotions, my intelligence, I was valuable and isolated and he took advantage of it …..I guess was stupid . During my pregnancy I was very sick could not bring down any food or drink or medication in my stomach and I was unable to get up up for three months. It’s got to a point I thought I was going to die. During this time this man who still my husband got in charge of apartment , my bank account, my decision and in control of my life .Before I knew it he started preparing for our marriage calling pastor and setting up date for our marriage. I was still very sick not in good health and not in good frame of mind to make the right decision. I was scared of this man , scared of the situation and depressed . My friends had abandon me and family had disowned me i have him left . I manage to attend the weeding with last strength left in me wearing a borrowed wedding dress from church members which he arranged. A year after given birth to this beautiful boy and got my strength and memory back I learnt his main reasons emergency wedding and insisted I keep the baby because he failed his immigration hearing and could be deported. I felt alone, not loved , regrets , used and not happy. I did not belong to him because I felt deceived , and wanted to leave the marriage, but part of me said not to as Christian. I do not believe in divorce I felt I’m already in it let make the best out of it . I told myself I can’t failed in this marriage . I was scared what will my family say if they found out . I didn’t want people most especially my auntie who hated me by all mean for no reason to have reason to reason to hates me more or be right as she had said I wouldn’t turn out well in life . I wanted to succeed and I have tried to make that Happened for 21years . My marriage for 21years have been hell , I have never felt love ,all he had ever done to be very controlling, abusive and makes all the decisions. Well, I’m 43years old now I’m blessed with 2 children a boy and girl . I have alway wanted and dreamt of having 4kids . Throughout my 21years of marriage to my husband I have had 4 abortions because he does not want more babies despite I pleaded with him just to have one more kid . Due to complications and high blood pressure I was taken off from contraceptive. We used other preventative methods but still ended up getting pregnant. After two abortions I asked for God forgiveness, and promised God no more abortion. I did all I could to prevent having another abortion. I seek help with doctors who suggested I take my ovaries/ Fallopian tube out , but I said no because I wanted more kids in future . I told the doctor Why should I be the one to have sugary to remove my womb when I’m not the one who do not want more kids . The doctor suggested my husband should have vasectomy instead since he does not want any more children, but he refused . I promised God I will never have anymore abortion no matter what . I could not forgive myself for the first two pregnancies. I kept have nightmares, I’m filled with regret, pain and sadness. While going through this I got pregnant again very happy, but husband was not happy he wanted me to have the baby removed. I tried to keep the pregnancy, but again I was stupid and I could not endure his continued abused to get me to abort the pregnancy I decided to have abortion. During abortion asked I God to forgive me that it will never happen again , but i never kept to my promise i Ended up with another abortion. It was the worst experience it was very painful and I thought I was going to die . I needed up doing these two last abortions despite I promised I will never have anymore because I could not bear the abuse I got during theses pregnancies. My husband showed no concerned, no love , he treated me like a piece of garbage just for me to agree to abortion. I was very sick with all my pregnancies sometimes admitted in hospital that made me vulnerable . I was isolated from my community, family and friends that gave him more power. He restricted me from friends, my community and trusted no one . As an immigrants I had to start high school and college all over again . Thank God I’m independent working as nurse . At 39years I wanted to have one more kids I have been unable . I think God is punishing me for what I had done . I love kids if it was in my power and I had supportive and someone who love me those babies would have been alive. My husband reasons for making me go through all those abortions because we were not Financially stable. He never once thought about me what I wanted , the pain I had to go through , the mental impart and the risk with those abortions , He had never listened to me or considered what I wanted. Sometimes I asked myself why ami I still in this marriage. I have given it all for it to succeed. Im filled with so much pain , regrets, sadness and unable to forgive myself. Why did I allowed him to make all those decisions for me . I wanted him to wins so there will be peace or for him to love me perhaps, He still the man I meant 6weeks before I got pregnant. Still self Center, abusive verbally, controlling wouldn’t want me associating or going out . I’m still married to him 21years this March and hoping I will find love in him and he will change his attitude. I’m lonely, sad , disappointed, unable to forgive myself of my sin . ….sometimes I ask myself why am I still holding to this marriage?

When I was 27, I got pregnant. I was single and a musician in a band and had “fling” with the lead singer. I got pregnant. He didn’t want the baby and tried to convince me on having an abortion. When I refused, he spoke to me on giving the baby up for adoption. I couldn’t do either. My mom had passed away 3 years prior and I was an only child and wanted to have a family, even if it were just baby and I. I had a prenatal appointment and was told by the nurse there that because my sugars were too high (I’m type 1 diabetic) that I may have “missed the boat” on having a healthy baby. The Obstetrician told me I should think about what I wanted to do at that point (without saying abortion). I knew what he was saying. I called my best friend whom I’ve known my whole life and cried to her telling what the nurse and doctor said to me. At that moment I considered terminating my pregnancy. I didn’t want the baby to live with any abnormalities because of my carelessness being diabetic. As I cried to my best friend over the phone she told me about God and how she also was going to help me and be there for me. She said I needed to trust God. She prayed for me and she truly was there for me every step of the way. She was there helping me when I gave birth in the hospital and to her, I am thankful. My son is now 26 years old and he is healthy. God used my best friend to point me towards Him. I’ve been a Born Again Believer in Jesus Christ for 19 years now and I understand the fear and situations women are in when contemplating abortion. I’m here to tell you that if you are pregnant right now and reading this, you’re not alone. There may be more reasons that might make sense to you to have an abortion which first is fear and also not having the support of your partner, family/friends, and financial issues, but there’s one reason that is by far one that I hope you will seek is God intricately formed us in our mothers womb. We are made in His image. No life is a mistake and there is a greater purpose for all life created. There are people here, like myself, who care and want to help. I now am an intake counselor for a pro-life ministry at my church. We have a pregnancy mobile unit that we offer free pregnancy testing, free ultrasounds, help for eomen who decide to keep their babies and also have an adoption connection to women who decide adoption over abortion. There is hope and there is help. Please contact me if you need help. I pray for each and everyone reading this today. Although I do not know you, God does, and He knows your situations. You are not alone.
email:  thefruitofherhands1@gmail.com

I live in Oregon, with a Planned Parenthood just an hour north of me, and it felt like it was the right thing to do. My boyfriend wasn’t ready to be a father, my mom felt like I shouldn’t be a mother just yet, and I felt like I wanted something more in my life before becoming a mother. I ended up choosing the surgical procedure, my mom even took me to the clinic and waited for me. I was at a party on New Year’s Eve when it hit me that I should have been 6 months pregnant, but instead I decided to have a suction tube remove it from me. I left that party in tears, my friends thinking that I was crying because of some guy. I just wish I never did it, I wish I was pregnant, and I wish I had the courage on keeping what should have been my first child.

My first abortion happened in my early 20’s while I was a college student. I really felt like it was the best thing to do at that time given that I was living in a different city without family. My boyfriend at that time and I both agreed. A decision I regretted. 14 years later I found myself in a similiar situation. This time I want to keep my baby but my current boyfriend is adamant about abortion. Instead of following my heart desire I followed his. The shame, the guilt, the sadness hurts. You walk into a doctor office and they just mention abortion as an option without telling you the side affects and long-term mental and emotional pain. Abortion has caused me to enter a state of depression. Ive felt worthless and not myself at times. Abortion is not a solution to pregnancy. Abortion does not fix any problem. Abortion is a loss of life that takes a heavy toll on a parents mental state and well-being.

I blame you. I blame you for everything. I scream “THATS NOT FAIR” a million times in my head as my chest no longer feels heaviness but tightness instead. I imagine what life could’ve been if I avoided you from the start and just not at the end; what’s the beginning if there’s no ending? And vice versa. Everything within me wants to yell “I HATE YOU” as I sit here at work, typing this out. I’m tired; I wanted you to be there, I wanted YOU to be HERE. I had to go through this abortion by myself, because you lost too much? you didn’t want to miss work because you already missed sm days the week before? but you could give me a baby so easy…. ”THATS NOT FAIR” is repeating in my head to the point my soul is vibrating creating anxiety. This is killing me except it’s not fatal, just a type of suffering where I don’t die. Wait, not only are you not here with me? But you’re with your family.. the one you hid from me, assuming I knew? Are you serious, have you not heard the news about me either? I’m just gonna assume like you assumed I knew about your family, that you knew I haven’t been home for a whole year… are you kidding? No way you didn’t know that, how was I suppose to keep tabs on you? We haven’t talked since 8th grade, we graduated hs in 2019 and 2020. Now that we rekindled our hearts desires, oh how we used to like each other back then, just kids… calling on a phone a whole summer, I was your crush; you were mine. Ugh, I could reminisce about us but instead, back to reality- where I was pregnant with your baby; I was grieving our baby the whole time while you were seeing yours. I couldn’t escape the harsh reality, one where single moms are so common on the reservation, that I didn’t want to add to that truth. where the guys can leave and persuade new, without worrying about the baby they left. IM SO PROUD OF YOU, OMG OF US, we beat those statistics right? We didn’t add on to them instead we added on to our own stats of depression, anxiety, guilt, anger, loneliness… yeah, at least I have my future back on track to meet my family’s expectations.. I know I am a murder, it’s a sad story I got an abortion, and that I find it difficult to move on with life when I just want it to stop. “ITS NOT FAIR!!!” I have to deal w guilt of losing our baby boy, remember you told me that? That how I was acting you could tell it was a boy? No coincidence I had a dream of a baby boy. I wish you could fulfill a hole missing but you can’t, you’re the reason why I have that hole! Not to mention, your baby mama exposed the pictures you took of me to your group chat.. that YOU took, my baby for yours, my body not yours, her over me… when does it end? now everything appears to be calm.. but this injustice I feel. she’s doesn’t know about the abortion, because if she did, you’d lose you daughter.. OH GOD!! GOD! I was selfish yet so selfless. God what was I thinking!? What was he thinking?! I scream it’s not fair.. I lost everything for him. I went through everything by myself only to do everything not for myself. To change this, I would.. but that’s not enough so instead I blame you. blame you… no more… selfish to be selfless.