Made a mistake .

It was the year 2017 I had just met my deceased now boyfriend. After 3 or 4 months of dating we moved in together with a friend to save up and get our own place.Not long after we moved out I found out I was pregnant I preety much freaked out and panicked I thought “im not ready to be a mom ” theirs so much i need to do with my life first, he was excited and I kind of talked him into it I know I broke his mother’s heart because she begged for us to give it to her. Long story short I went through with it even though the day of God showed me all the signs of not too .We stayed together even though I felt he resented me for it but before he passed I know all he ever wanted was a family and I took that away from him ,because I wasn’t able to get pregnant again.I broke so many hearts when I did what I did .My mother to this day is so disappointed in me and broken hearted especially since he’s not here anymore that baby would’ve been everyone’s comfort of him.I feel guilty everyday and horrible for doing what I did and just pure selfishness since our baby would’ve been so loved by so many , who was I to deny someone a chance to experience life? I can’t help but think if I had that baby would he be here today. If you feel abortion is the way for you then do what’s best but don’t do it out of impulse and fear because remember once that fetus is gone then that’s it theirs no way of bringing it back.