Dreamer 

In 1985, I discovered I was pregnant. I went to the local Planned Parenthood and they told me I was 11 weeks pregnant. I was terrified, I loved children but I was just a teenager. The doctor told me I had to either get an abortion within the next 7 days or have the baby. I had only missed one period. I had been using marijuana regularly. And had used LSD once. I thought if I had the baby it would be irreparably damaged. I borrowed the money and scheduled an appt. I cut school and went to the clinic. People were picketing outside. I didn’t want to get out of the truck but my friends said this is it, you either do it now or you can’t come back. I went inside was knocked out and they did the d&c. After, I got back in the vehicle and went to a friends. She decided to have a party. Why I stayed I will never know. I drank heavily. I felt terrible about what I had done. That evening I started bleeding profusely but I could not go back to the doctor. I didn’t have any money and I couldn’t tell my family. I stopped bleeding after a few days. Since that time, I have never become pregnant again. I regretted that abortion from that day to this. Sadly, I did not know that would be the only chance for me to have a child. I dream of that baby even now. Sad that I thought there was no other option for me. Sad to think that the people who should have helped me were as stupid as I was. Sad that the one family member I could turn to for help gave me the money instead of talking me out of it. Sad.