Abortion Testimonials » All Testimonials » I will Never be the Same

I will Never be the Same

by Admin
Hi, my name is Aubrey. I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant. I turned 16 in October, i waited until november to go to planned parenthood and get tested. I got pregnant in september of 2011. I told my boyfriend that I was suspecting I was pregnant because I had spotting a week before my period was due and that was not normal. After I missed my period I waited 2 weeks to take a pregnancy test. I took it and sure enough I was pregnant. I waited a month to tell my parents because I had to come to grips with the situation I was in. I found out November 21 2011 I was pregnant. I told my parents December 11. That Friday they pressured me to have an abortion. I had from Monday December 12 until that Friday morning December 16 to try and handle what I was going to be put through.


Everytime I told my boyfriend I wanted to tell my parents he kept telling me to hold off for a little longer so he could tell his dad. Well after a week or 2 of pushing that back I couldnt keep it from my parents anymore. I told my mom on a sunday night by giving her the test result on paper from planned parenthood. That night I had to tell my dad when he got home from work and my mom called my boyfriends dad before he told him. They were so angry and they started telling me that I am not keeping this mistake and that they don’t want this grandchild because it wasn’t concieved out of love. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now. My parents told me I had one option, abortion or get kicked out of the house and go to a shelter in the city.


I didnt want to have to move out, never see my boyfriend again and go to a new school and be pregnant. My boyfriends dad and step mom came over Monday night the night after I told my mom and they all told me I have to get an abortion or it’s going to wreck everyones life. My boyfriend supported me and my thought for adoption. But once his dad came to talk to me and my mom he changed his mind and told me I should get one. The next day my mom called the planned parenthood and made an appointment for that coming friday for me to have an abortion. I will never forget having to wake up at 5 am to get there for an 8 am appointment to do something I didn’t want to do but I felt like I ha no choice to do.My mom told me they would do an ultra sound and that I am not to look at it because she didn’t want me to know what was there. I didn’t want the abortion. It was my baby and I stopped fighting for it. I never should have done it. My boyfriend told me he didn’t see us together anymore if I would have continued the pregnancy. My boyfriend was there for the abortion in the waiting room because he wasn’t allowed in the recovery room with me. He held my hand after it was over and came home with me to comfort me.. After the whole thing was said and done all I could do was come home an cry. My dad was not speaking to me before the abortion but the day I got it when I got home he started talking to me and gave me a hug because they got what they wanted. I didn’t. And now I am living with something I didn’t want to do that everyone else pressured me into, for the rest of my life. I regret it and I want my baby back. I should have never listened to them. I had no support though. My family, even my brother didn’t support my adoption idea and neither did My boyfriends parents or my boyfriend! He backed out on me and stopped supporting me. I felt like the whole world was against me.But if your pregnant and people are pushing you to do abort the child, do what you want. Do what you feel is right for you. Think about your baby. I was 3 months pregnant. And knowing what a fetus looks like at 3 months old, it’s heartbreaking. Think about it before you do it. You will have to live with it the rest of your life. Nobody will ever understand what you will go through after it’s all done. Abortion doesn’t make a baby go away, it just makes a dead baby. Please do what you feel is right. Don’t be pressured like me and everyone else that has been pressured into it and has told their story. It’s a painful procedure and I can’t understand how it is legal to kill innocent human beings. I am suffering so many emotions of sadness, grief, loss, guilt, shame, and anger. I am not myself anymore. I will never be the same.



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Laura T June 6, 2020 - 3:19 am

Awwww beautiful woman I am so sorry for your heartbreak. We certainly live in a fallen world that is so selfish to not accept another life to love it they view it is the wrong circumstance in their eyes or too much of a burden – which we have fallen away from Jesus who said He will always make a way. I also will forever carry the heartbreak in my family and I would do anything to go back and save my sisters baby when she was a teen and I think of her baby every day – and it’s been over 20 years. The only think I cling to is that the baby is in heaven and never had to suffer in this cruel world. We now have a baby in our family and I am so heartbroken still about the little one our family couldn’t open their hearts to or to at least give a chance for some other family to love. I wish I could hold you and cry with you and I am so sorry our society does not love and respect women and children. I hate that Satans lies have convinced people that abortion is a positive for women. I am sorry you had no support and you were forced into abortion, just as my mom did to my sister and it happened so fast that I wish I could go back and ask my sister if that is what she wanted – which I now know she did want to have her baby. God knows your heart. He forgives. And I believe all our lost babies are with Him in heaven.

Anonymous November 10, 2020 - 2:15 am

You’re not alone. I regret mine, too. I was 34 when I did it at 6 weeks and 6 days. My baby would have just turned 10. I have two boys now ages 4 and 5. I try to reason that if I hadn’t made the choice I did they wouldn’t be here but it doesn’t lessen the pain.

Naomi November 30, 2020 - 5:27 am

To my now dead child , and god I’m sorry . If I could go back I’d listen to me. It didn’t bother me at first but as I start my period again the grief comes along as well. I’m so sorry.

Ellen December 4, 2020 - 5:18 pm

You are such a brave young lady to post this incredible personal story. I have no doubt that you will one day be an amazing mother to your other children. If there were more people with your intelligence and courage in the world, people would realize the gravity of killing sweet innocent babies. Thank you for your bravery. I hope you have forgiven yourself because God has. You are a beautiful soul. God bless you sweetie!

Patricia cardenas January 18, 2021 - 10:33 am

Oh wow , this is so sad I got an abortion too because I was selfish and didn’t really care I mean I look back now and I was able to move on with my life knowing I didn’t make a mistake but just the thought that I ended a life before it got to grow any further I feel I am such a bad person

Anonymous January 21, 2021 - 8:36 pm

That is so so sad . I’m soo sorry that you felt so pressured from your parents to kill your baby. Yes abortion is murder! They lie to a young woman for money in thier pockets. Just know that you will see your baby someday in heaven and that God will help you find peace again. Your baby had a soul and is at peace thank you for revealing the truth of the horror of abortion. It is permanent once you do it you cant undo it. Please if you are someone considering this seek help! There are caring people who can help you and your little baby!

Anonymous January 24, 2021 - 11:10 am

So sad

Rita January 30, 2021 - 6:12 pm

I know acactly how you feel Its been 28 years and I still feel like I murdered my precious baby I was 3 months also I can only hope God can forgive me and my precious baby Im so sorry you have to experience this pain also God bless you

Anonymous January 30, 2021 - 8:26 pm

I had one when I was.19 and married. I already had a baby she was 9 months old. I was on the pill but I took antibiotics and the pill was null and void. No one told me that antibiotics would cause birth control pills to be ineffective. Anyway my husband at the time was in and out of jail and prison. He was wild as the wind. I decided it was best and I just couldn’t take on another baby. Now I’m 55 and I think about that baby every single day. I have ask God for forgiveness and I have never ever did anything like that again. I educate as much as I can. I’m a nurse also and I care for sick kids that families have given up for adoption because they couldn’t deal with it. I have a child that I care for that has spina bifida and cerebral palsy she is also paralyzed. They wanted the mother to abort her when she was 6.5 months pregnant. I asked the mother not to and I asked her to let me have her if she couldn’t deal with it. She brought her to me 3 months after she came home from the hospital. The child is 13 according to the doctors she wasn’t supposed to live past 6 months. I don’t know but maybe it was God giving me a second chance. Anyway this is my story. Please do not have an abortion you will NEVER EVER forget.

Gina Paparella January 31, 2021 - 8:59 am

I am so sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine what you went through. It was not right. But Jesus loves you. Seek him pray to him. If I were you I would contact a pro-life center that offers post abortion counseling. These centers are not judgemental. They offer healing. God Bless!

Charlene February 5, 2021 - 6:47 am

I too was in a similar situation. I went in believing at the time that I must be doing the right thing. I remember l laying on the table with my mind racing, imagining myself jumping up and running out the door. Yes, no, yes, no was constantly going through my mind about doing this. I remember the sound of the machine and the worst pain in five minutes I ever felt. Then going home and still feeling pregnant. Swollen breast had not gone down yet. Did it not work, I wondered and did I dare hope? Its been a lot of years and its something you never forget and the regret is with you the rest of your life. I’m so sorry for girls like the one in this article. Really I am because I lived it. No one can really understand until they’ve been there

Luana February 7, 2021 - 7:23 pm

I need help dealing with my abortion its been 10 yrs and it still hurts

Anonymous February 7, 2021 - 7:26 pm

I made a terrible mistake and I will never forgive myself. I killed an innocent child. My child. I wish I was educated and I wish someone would have offered their support. I wish to God I would have looked at that sonogram and then jumped off the table and ran out as fast as I could. It’s been 20 years and the shame and guilt and heartache only gets worse. I’m so sorry sweet baby

Anonymous February 7, 2021 - 11:05 pm

This is horrible, I’m 45. I too was forced into one at 17. It never goes away.

Kimberley February 14, 2021 - 11:10 am

Somebody help me heal . It’s been almost 18 years , it’s ruined my marriage, my relationship with my kids . I want my life back . How do I ever forgive myself?

Anonymous February 14, 2021 - 12:20 pm

God is there for you.He forgives.He knows your heart and if you are truly repentant he will forgive you.No one is perfect.praying for you

Anonymous February 16, 2021 - 10:29 am

How very sad. It’s true that the mothers are also victims of this horrific and barbaric practice we call “health care,” particularly when one so young as you are searching for help to address the issue toward an outcome that doesn’t need to involve abortion. Hugs and prayers for you, little lady. Seek God. He will heal your heart.

Sandy February 16, 2021 - 2:42 pm

I had an abortion in the early 1970s.. unfortunately I did not have sexual health classes in catholic school, I know most people won’t believe this, but I was so naive that I thought my pregnancy at 10 weeks,, baby was just a “dot” I know it sounds absurd, but I really believed that… when the abortion was over, the ‘doctor” left the container by the side where I could see it,, I was freaked out..it wasn’t a “dot” why didn’t planned parenthood explained more to me? God I’ve been in heel for 40 years

Kathy February 18, 2021 - 5:04 pm

I know your pain. I had 3 abortions. My heart was heart was set on wanting so badly to believe that it was a good decision for me each time. After my third, my heart was shattered into a million pieces. My world went dark. It was hard to get up and out of bed each day. It was hard to breathe because my heart was so heavy and broken….
Through some very improbable steps, ones that I wouldn’t have known to take on my own, I was led to a post-abortion bible study. I understand now that it was the Lord’s loving hand that walked me there. Through it I found freedom from the shame, the guilt, the self-hatred and the self-condemnation. God had shone the light of His love into my broken heart. With each week of the study He put my heart back together piece by piece.
This was 20 years ago, and my heart is still whole and my soul is still free.
You are not alone, this is not an unforgivable sin, you are worthy of God’s love.
You can find a post abortion bible study at most, if not all, community pregnancy centers.

Sue February 19, 2021 - 6:56 pm

I had 2 babies by the time I was 16 I raised them both with an abusive husband. My mother told me I couldn’t keep the baby at home that I had to get married to keep the baby. After 18 years and a divorce I started to date again he was younger than me but after 2 years we became engaged. I got pregnant and he said to me if you keep it I will make your life a living he’ll and fight you by denying it is mine. In the meantime he was cheating on me and got another woman older than me pregnant which I didn’t know till later. I was alone and knew I just couldn’t go through with raising a baby all over again. So I made the horrible choice to abort I cried for months asking God to forgive me. That was 20 years ago and I still carry the guilt. I say oh in March he or she would be 21. But isn’t the man just as guilty I mean he got 2 women pregnant and didn’t want either one??

Lisa February 20, 2021 - 5:05 pm

I had an abortion over 30 years ago and it has bothered me since. I always wondered what the child would look like or become. My worst decision ever to not have the baby

Anonymous March 1, 2021 - 7:19 am

I am sorry you had to go through that and your parents was so unkind to you children should not have to go through this . your parents are selfish and only thinking of them self.

Anonymous March 2, 2021 - 12:10 pm

I truly understand your pain and I carry my pain everyday. I got pregnant unexpectedly and my boyfriend was at the appointment with me when we found out I was pregnant. We agreed to have the baby and then a day or so later my boyfriend called and told me having the baby would be hard financially. I never wanted to have an abortion or had even thought of possibly having one. I didn’t want my baby to grow up in a toxic environment or I feel I allowed my boyfriend fear of having it get the best of me. I went on to have the abortion and it was the worse decision of my life. It’s been almost 3 years ago and I’m still dealing with the trauma from it. The emotions of guilt, sadness , depression, ashamed,etc. I should have done what I wanted to do which was not have the abortion at all. The procedure was painful and a horrible experience. Please anyone reading this don’t have an abortion if you truly don’t have to. All I want to do is hold my baby because I killed my baby.

Anonymous March 4, 2021 - 8:49 pm

Jesus loves you your babies in heaven this is the truth your parents cant over rule jesus ask for forgiveness of everything be led through the sinners prayer follow jesus forever 1 day or night you will see your babies and raise him or her in heaven forgive your parents your boyfriend forgive yourself after you get right with jesus and enjoy knowing you are forgiven by jesus brother in christ I love you

Jane March 9, 2021 - 10:26 pm

I too feel your sadness. Many women do. I drank the first pill and couldn’t come to terms with it as I was there. I was pressured by my boyfriend of almost a year and a half. I have already 3 children and while it seems like a lot, I also didn’t mind having another one if that’s what god wanted for me. I feel interrupted that process and feel I’ll be punished for it. I feel empty inside. I contacted a hotline to reverse it and said it’s only 68 percent effective, but I’m going to try. Although it may feel worse then because if it doesn’t work, I’ll feel like a failure. But I regretted it the moment I put that pill in my mouth. I wish I would have had more support and I didn’t. I’m not sure why I needed support or validation at 35, but i was trying to also be realistic with my situation. A single mom of 3 and potentially of 4 in a state where I know no one would make my life difficult but at the same time this is what I did and a life shouldn’t pay for our choices that we did not measure the consequences of.
I felt for you reading your story, but I hope you can overcome this and know next time, you won’t ever consider it not even for one second regardless of who’s supporting you. I know that if this happens to me again I won’t ever consider it because this empty feeling I have feels almost unbearable. I’ve broken down twice already almost as if in a panic because of this. I can’t come to terms with it. There are women that are okay with it and I wish I had that strength. I wish I would have encountered this article prior to this. I tried to find some online but all I found was people who did it and were glad they did it. Now I encounter this and wish I would have read it to avoid this feeling. Although I felt so pressured that I may have done it regardless and live in regret. That’s usually the lesson in life. Don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing. The moment of regret will always set in. Now I’m here hoping this reversal works.

Nickole March 11, 2021 - 4:09 pm

It’s honestly the worst thing I have ever done. I was pressured too. I was in a tight spot but I would have made it work. As of January my baby would have been 4 years old. It still kills me to this day. I think of the what ifs and what could have beens. I get told to get over it but that’s something I don’t think I could ever do. I told god the morning of the abortion to please forgive me and watch over my baby. I rubbed my stomach and told my baby I was so sorry and I loved him(I believe it was going to be a boy cause he gave me hell) I was 3 months and I wish I could take it all back. I am a parent….I’m just a parent of an angel baby….I don’t understand how people were okay with it. How people who were far more into there pregnancy were smiling or acting like it was fine in that waiting room. How can you be okay with killing a child, a human being…. I regret it each and every day.

D March 11, 2021 - 7:30 pm

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. My ex boyfriend also pressured me to have an abortion. I have tried to commit suicide because of it, ive ended up homeless and given up on my life because of it, and yeah. It is a horrific thing. But I have come to realize that it isnt my fault or your fault that no one listened, helped or cared. Your man shouldve stepped up. It is actually his fault. Abortion is murder and is a horrible thing. I will pray for you that you find a GOOD MAN who can take care of you so you can have another baby. Or that your baby’s soul can come back from Heaven. I do believe in miracles. Jesus saved me from my abortion pain. Just remember, Jesus Christ came back from the DEAD. so ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. GOD BLESS YOU AND IM SORRY YOU WERE WITH A MAN WHO WAS NOT THERE FOR YOU. YOU DESERVE A LOT MORE THAN THIS AND I PRAY THAT YOU WILL RECEIVE IT. AND YOU WILL! you are now in my heart forever ! A MIRACLE IS COMING !

Anonymous March 25, 2021 - 8:22 pm

Thank you..I never really excepted it myself but had no time to think about what I wanted and I was so sick all the time..I was 15 and scared and now I’m 30 with a 8 year old and I regret not sticking up for my baby when no one else wanted it.i always wanted my baby…To my baby I hope you forgive me and I have always loved you..not one day I haven’t thought about you

Cristal March 29, 2021 - 10:12 am

I am so sorry for the heartache you have to live with. I also had an abortion at the age of 17 because I was pressured into it. My boyfriend of 2 years at the time said he was too young to be a father and a baby would ruin his life, so I went through with it. I cried for days afterwards,
and he left me 4 months later. To this day I still live with the pain and regret, I cry whenI think about the baby. I now have 4 beautiful children and a husband of 17 years, but it is a pain that never goes away. I wonder what he or she would look like, or how different my life would be. I will keep you in my prayers, that God will give you comfort and help you try and forgive yourself. I am still trying myself. God bless you

Mamu March 30, 2021 - 11:27 pm

Thanks you really helped me , I did aborted 15 ag for stupid reasons, got my life together got married for 5 but not a kid I fog pregnant 3times and it goes to miscarriage,
As I am dying inside to have a bby and dealing with the gilts of my past I started thinking maybe God is punishing me for what I did On the other hand I also have a cheating husband that I just got rid of one month ago and I found out am pregnant my brain and anger of being cheated to was busy telling me just abort it and move on with your life ,
Until when I read your testimony,
I am keeping my bby to hell the marriage and the husband my bby is everything!
Thanks so much for your testimony

Larry April 4, 2021 - 8:30 am

My daughter became pregnant at 15, unlike your father I didn’t threaten to kick her out. I was not happy but now that little boy is 15 and my best friend, abortion is never an option for me and I’m sorry you mother and father forgot their duty to love you unconditionally, God makes no mistakes, your child no doubt had a place in this world, but take solace in knowing he/she doesn’t have to grow up in these horrible times

Adrienne April 4, 2021 - 8:00 pm

I too had an abortion 49 years ago. It occurred months after Roe v Wade became legal in my state. I was 18, and just started college. Planned Parenthood really pushed abortions on young college women at that time. I decided to abort at 6 weeks because I felt that I couldn’t put my father through the shame of getting pregnant in my first semester of school, since I was the first in my family for several generations who went to college. Years later I was able to make the connection that my deep depression and sense of shame that followed me for many years was a result of the abortion. I’ve learned that God is forgiving and merciful, however, aborting my child is something that still make me ashamed to talk about.

Thomas April 5, 2021 - 6:56 pm

I pressured my girlfriend in 1977 to get an abortion. I married the woman 3 years later and we have been together 40 years one big deep down problem, that I kept buried for years was the guilt from being responsible for talking my innocent future wife into killing our child. God has forgiven me but I can’t forgive me.i’m told I will meet this child someday and that prospect shatters me. Anybody out there reads this that is contemplating abortion, don’t do it! Have the child and put it up for adoption, don’t kill it, if you have any kind of consciousness it will eat you alive later in life, don’t do it.

Aznasimage April 8, 2021 - 1:12 pm

I love you.

V Mighells April 10, 2021 - 4:00 pm

Hey anonymous, I know how you feel Sweetheart. Me too, but I was 16 and my sister guilted me into it. I’m 55 now. I have a son who is 28. It killed me inside to tell him, he would’ve had an older sibling. There should never have been the Abortion “option” to begin with. Time heals but this will always stay with you. You must go to Jesus and ask forgiveness and for help in forgiving yourself. My heart is right there with you honey. Try not to beat yourself into the ground. It doesn’t work, I’ve tried it. Take the lesson and take control of your choices. I’m sorry your parents weren’t there for you. This I do know, Jesus does Exist and there is healing and forgiveness. He has “All” if those babies in his arms. Remember, what you have been through can help someone else who may struggle with this same problem. Use it to encourage a good outcome. God Bless you in your future with Peace and lots of Babies to Love. You are going to be alright. V

Gena April 10, 2021 - 5:23 pm

Sweet girl, you are not alone. I am so sorry you went through this. I was 17 when my mom coerced me to have an abortion. I am now 51 and still cry and regret this decision everyday. I pray my baby forgives me. Love and acceptance to you xo

ariana April 16, 2021 - 6:14 pm

i’m a month pregnant and i’ve thought about abortion for the past couple of weeks because i’m 16. my boyfriends mom has made it very clear that she wants me to have an abortion and my boyfriend remains neutral about the situation my parents are upset and they say i have their support but i don’t even know if i want it all there is; is anger between me and my dad and how is it fair to my mom to take care of my baby while i have to go out and get an education i feel very conflicted and confused i can make all of the fighting and pain for others go away. but i love my baby and i don’t know if i could live with myself if i stopped my baby’s heart.

Cynthia April 18, 2021 - 11:52 am

I had an abortion 27years ago. I was doing drugs and in a abusive relationship. I tried to kill myself later that year. I was so hopeless. I still cry when I think about what I have done. I murdered my child. I got pregnant again while on birth control and of course the man and his family wanted me to get an abortion but I got locked up and stayed in jail past the time to get one. Praise God. I know it was God who put me there. I had a son who is the love of my life. I know I’m forgiven by the grace of Jesus and I have to repent to remove my shame because the devil is cruel. One day I will get to see my son or my daughter and get to tell them how sorry I am and how much in love them. But until then, I live with that day but also I stand on every pro-life issue so no one has to go through that. They don’t tell you how much you will miss that child and the emptiness it brings in your life.

Darla April 21, 2021 - 11:46 am

I am 57 now. I had a abortion when i was 25. I had 2 children already. My husband now my boyfriend then did not want the abortion. I did not either, but my mom was helping me and she would of had a fit. I Prayed and Prayed for JESUS CHRIST TO FORGIVE. ME HE HAD. I HAD TO FORGIVE MYSELF. WITH HIS GRACE I DID. I would not recommend a abortion for anyone. Also after wards i about bled to death went into shock. It was horrible.

Anonymous April 27, 2021 - 2:07 pm

Thank God I went for adoption instead..I couldn’t have lived with myself if I had an abortion. The great news is that we were reunited after 50 years and it was instant love.

Koriee May 5, 2021 - 8:38 pm

My boyfriend of 3 years is trying to force me into a second abortion because “he’s not ready”. It’s always HIM and never about ME and how I feel. After my second abortion I screamed, cried & pleaded for forgiveness. Now I’m pregnant again and I refuse to get one. But I know if I get an abortion it will only keep leading to another abortion and another abortion because “he’s not ready”. I also understand if I keep this baby we won’t be together and I’m fine with that.

Theresa May 6, 2021 - 8:31 am

I pray for your healing and for mine. Good bless you. Thank you for writing your story.

Samantha May 10, 2021 - 10:44 pm

Your baby is NOT dead, just in a place of peace and absolute PURE LOVE. Death does not exist. Don’t worry or beat yourself up over this anymore. There is no need for anger or remorse or guilt. You will be reunited someday.

For now, honor your unborn child by having a good and joyful and productive life. Show compassion and love to others. That soul will come back to you if it is meant to be so. Go in peace and absolute love because that is what your child and the Divine Source of All want for you.

B. Lokey May 21, 2021 - 10:05 am

It is amazing that humanity has stooped so low into the very sewage beneath gutters that a girl’s mother and father could be do abominable as to cheer the murder/butchery of their own grandchildren. Humanity is on the way OUT of life on the way to HELL.

Darla May 21, 2021 - 1:49 pm

There is a place for abortion healing. It’s called Rachel’s Vinyard.Please check it out for post abortion healing.God bless.+++

Anonymous May 31, 2021 - 6:44 pm

I am so sorry you went through that, I also went through that last month. My then boyfriend told me he can’t be with me if I continue with the pregnancy. I didn’t have a choice because I’m in a foreign country with no family he was my only support and he took advantage of that. I was so broken and even lost myself, I had to fight to get my personality back and be happy again. I decided to cut him off my life for good.

By His stripes I am healed June 2, 2021 - 10:09 am

I was 15 too. Trapped in an abusive relationship with a grown man. I wanted to get away from him and keep my baby. I had no support and no where to go. My sister told me it would be for the best. I told her I didn’t want to do it. I should have fought harder. I sobbed the entire way to planned parenthood. I was so upset I started bleeding heavily. When they took me back to the “ operating area” ( it was just a big room divided by curtains) I told the nurse I didn’t want to go through with it. She gave me something to calm me down, and I continued crying and trying to get off the table. I will never forget her face. She looked me in the eyes and and said “ you don’t want to do this do you?” I said no and she held my hand. The Dr came in. He said nothing and began the procedure. I am haunted not knowing if I was having a miscarriage or if my baby was still alive. I have regretted this EVER SINGLE DAY of my life! If you are thinking of abortion , PLEASE seek out adoption. There are so many people who would happily cover your living expenses etc for the chance to love your baby. There are options! Even if you are all alone, there are resources to help you. Do NOT believe the lies that mainstream media and PP want you to believe. They are evil and want to destroy God’s creation. I pray God forgives me and that someday I’ll see my baby in heaven. It’s been 26 years and I will never forget.

Baljit June 8, 2021 - 1:47 am

I went to planned parenthood to confirm my pregnancy this was back in 2007. They told me i am pregnant but its in the fallopian tube abd it’s dangerous and to get an abortion i was so panicked and sad so i setup an appointment in Sutter health hospital.they also ran some test snd said the same,they gave me an injection after some time,i had the abortion.after some time they told me it was a normal pregnancy snd it was already too late i was already heartbroken and this left me in emotional distress and wreck!!

Gege June 21, 2021 - 2:20 am

God bless you I’m sorry you had to endure that I feel your pain . Please stay strong

Chris June 21, 2021 - 2:51 pm

Having an abortion never sat right with me. I was immature and didn’t think I was capable of being a mother. Now 8 years later I find no peace and have never been the same since I left the clinic. It was by far the biggest mistake and regret. I drink to try and forget but it doesn’t help. Nothing helps. I feel horrible and miss the baby so much. It makes me sick. I would never do this again.

Cindy June 22, 2021 - 7:44 pm

I to had an abortion at 17 to this very day it haunts me l have never forgiven my self letting my so called boy friend talk me in to it. I pray to God every nite to forever me I am.now 62. It has changed my l life from doing it but l do have a very awesome son who is 36 .

Anonymous June 23, 2021 - 9:34 pm

When I got pregnant at 17 the clinic tried to convince me to have an abortion I said no, I was scared to tell my mom I was pregnant, so I ranaway and couch surfed with my boyfriend.by the time I was 24 I had 4 children. I am so happy I didn’t let anybody convince me.i four kids and ten grandkids now. Abortion is never an option their are so many people who want kids but can’t have any. Give been married to the after of my kids 40 yrs. DONT let anyone convince you to have abortiontheir not the ones that have live with regret.

guadalupe June 24, 2021 - 11:19 am

I had a abortion, feel bad , I had drinking problem. Hope god for gives me. I hope his grace will give me a baby .

Karen June 24, 2021 - 9:38 pm

I’m 61. I remember every June that it’s his or hers birthday. It hurt so bad. No one understands. I wish I could start a house where young unmarried mothers can come to and stay where they feel comfortable. They could have their baby’s. A job could be found for them and help
Them get on their feet.

Joanna July 2, 2021 - 5:08 pm

Joanna Panzera said “I am really sorry you had to go through that and I think you are strong and beautiful for sharing your story. I think you have a big heart and I am sorry it is hurting. I hate your parents for being selfish and not open minded.”

Lilly July 2, 2021 - 9:23 pm

I went through the same thing at 17. In addition I was never allowed to see my boyfriend again. I am a 62 yr old woman & I was never able to concieve another child. I was not given an option. Your abortion was a major turning point in my life.

Fefe July 6, 2021 - 9:19 pm

I had an abortion a week ago and iam grivieng just like you I understand your pain please forgive yourself !

Lori R July 9, 2021 - 11:03 am

Please look up Deeperstill and attend a retreat. Best thing I ever did.

Anonymous July 11, 2021 - 2:49 pm

I am so sorry for you I too had gone through the same experience, it has been 50 years today of a pain, guilt and sadness that have not gone away and I know it will never leave. I take this pain as a punishment for been immature , week , selfish. I have been asking God and Mother Mary to forgive me every day since, I do hope they do.
We were young and had to listen to our parents, I learn from that painful experience that my parents truly never loved me, to be strong to raise my two children on my own in my 30’s after a divorce. I talked with my children a lot about consequences of immature relationships and I let them know that I will be there for them no matter what and for them to be strong , loving , positive if they were ever in that situation, thank God they listen.
God bless you, God Bless all of us

Anonymous July 14, 2021 - 6:21 pm

This is so heartbreaking and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

Sarah G July 20, 2021 - 3:08 am

I know the feelings but God got you.. remember that all the days of your life ask for forgiveness… and ask him to heal you in forever.

Mona July 26, 2021 - 1:41 am

It’s 2021, and the same exact thing happened to me. Only difference is that I’m 25 and my angel baby’s father was never my boyfriend. It hurts. Nothing has ever hurt and broken me so much as the abortion. I wish and yearn for my baby everyday. I’m feeling everything you felt. I wish I had read this before….

Anonymous July 26, 2021 - 8:56 am

I just cried and those emotions resurfaced last night. I had 3 between the years of 2005 and 2007 and I’m still hurting from it. I’m now 42 and I was in my mid to late 20’s back then. I hate myself for it and every relationship I get into suffers from my emotions from it. Over the years I’ve lost my joy and I think I need counseling.. I’m sorry that happened to you. I wouldn’t wish the pain and grief on anyone from doing it.

Anonymous July 26, 2021 - 10:56 pm

I am so very sorry. My daughters both had abortions, thinking they were doing the right thing, and were traumatized by them. I told my daughters what I believe: they did the best they thought they could at the time, and their babies are waiting for them in the afterlife. I did not want them to end their pregnancies and they were offered all the love and help in the world. Please, try and find a counselor or trusted friend to talk to. I wish you peace.

Ajita July 27, 2021 - 12:00 am

I am so very sorry and hope you can come to a place where you do not judge yourself anymore. Women are pressured every day by people who are not the ones who have to go through the procedure, or live with the pain and sadness. I know women who said they felt their abortions were the right thing at the time, and then many years later, experience sadness and regret. My own daughters had abortions; nobody in the family believes me, but I know my younger daughter’s abortions (at least 3) left her heartbroken for a long time. She went on in life and had two lovely little girls. My elder daughter very much regrets her abortion also. I hope that there is someone in your life who will listen without judgement and be present with you in your sadness and pain. Nobody really knows why we are called on in this life to bear such tragedies, but I am sure your sharing here has helped other women, and given them a space to share their own loss (look at how many people have seen it and responded since you originally wrote it). I wish you luck and grace on your journey through this. You are loved.

Xochil July 27, 2021 - 11:46 pm

I can definitely relate how society put this burden and doesn’t allow us to have children freely, I hope we make a better world for our children to be born and live in.
Having an abortion is the most an excruciating pain, physically and mentally. I recall feeling the baby detaching from me and bleeding for endless days, it was like giving birth but with no baby. No one new about it, so I had to carry on like nothing was happening. But it got to a point where I could carry on I couldn’t cope with the grive of my unborn, the guild of not being brave enough to be a single mother and raise my child of not going against society’s norms. I had to take some time of work and grive, cry my heart out and seek counseling to help me understand and cope with what I was going through. Thanks to that I was able to drive and forgive myself. I prayed a lot to know if my baby was safe and one day crying at the river calling upon my baby a playful humming bird came and hanged out with me for a good hours, to me it was a signed I interpret as my baby saying it was safe and happy. I set up and altar where I put flowers and shells stones water anything what I like to offer and pray for my unborn. I also started to believe in reincarnation and I know my baby will come back to me healthy, in a loving home. This thinking helps me be okay and move forward. I now am more cautious and careful about my relationships because although I had use protection and tried my best to not become pregnant it still failed, I been abstinent because I wouldn’t go through this again. But I hope everyone who experiences a lost can look and move forward in a healthy way, I am still battle ling with my inner depression but every day I try to be better this is how I honor my unborn. I know my guardian angel loves me and protects me and it will come back to me.❤️

Anonymous July 29, 2021 - 12:15 pm

Ask God for forgivness. So you can forgive yourself. God will or I should say already has because you are sorry for what you did. Weall are sinners. And Jesus came to save us from our sins. God loves you soooo much.

Anonymous August 5, 2021 - 10:57 am

Aubrey it’s not your fault. You were only 15. Your parents and his parents were at fault. They were the adults they held the power. They forced you to do it, and they are the ones that killed your baby. Forgive yourself and know that God knows your heart.

Anonymous August 14, 2021 - 5:21 pm

You are forgiven.

Anonymous August 16, 2021 - 10:46 pm

God forgives all sins, even abortion. Come to Jesus and he will set you free of your guilt ✝️❤️ He does not want you to continue to suffer, he wants you to repent of your sins and come to him. God forgives and he loves you ❤️

Christine M August 28, 2021 - 6:27 am

You are so right. It was the biggest mistake I ever made

Anonymous September 2, 2021 - 2:25 pm

I am so sorry for what you were made to do. I hope you can find comfort and know that your baby is in good hands with our loving father. God has forgiven you. You were just a child. You know what you would of done if given the chose. Bless you , you have a good heart God sees this, God knows all.

Anonymous September 3, 2021 - 12:50 pm

I am sorry to hear that this happened to you, I am not a woman, but my wife and I did discuss abortion when she got pregnant, we were both 18 at the time. We decided that morally it wasn’t something we were okay with, we now have two beautiful boys and it hurts us both everyday that we even thought to do it. We live in a very messed up society that tries to make us feel as though we must conform to the will of others. Trust your instincts ladies.

Just some random guy

Anonymous September 6, 2021 - 9:29 pm

I understand completely it never goes away.

Sylvia Ann T September 10, 2021 - 3:50 pm

GOD had already forgiven you.Please forgive yourself.Your baby is alive in HEAVEN.If you’re a born again believer and you have received JESUS as your LORD AND SAVIOR.You will see your baby again.He or she is waiting on you in HEAVEN.IN THE NAME OF JESUS and through HIS precious BLOOD!*HALLELUJAH,AMEN!* GLORY TO GOD!* GLORY TO JESUS!* PRAISE GOD!* PRAISE JESUS!*

Anonymous September 11, 2021 - 5:24 pm

I’m a 65 year old man that took part in 2 abortions
Over 45 years ago !The emotional pain has gotten worse over the years ! The thought of what I did is with me every day ! Some days I weep over what I did ! I know God has forgiven me and I will see them in heaven!
God has been more merciful to me then I have ever been to anyone ! Praise be to the father ! Study your bible and draw close to the Lord ! See you in heaven !!!

Dani September 22, 2021 - 1:16 am

I just found your post and I thought for many years that I was alone. I went through a very similar situation and I too was 12 weeks along. I have never healed and things have gotten a little better over time but I will truly never be the same and other people don’t understand the pain and suffering a situation like this causes. I just wanted to let you too know that you are not alone. I am so sorry for your loss and I am praying for you. ✨

VaNessA September 23, 2021 - 10:08 pm

September 23 2021. And I had an abortion at 5months , iam so Sad & wish I could have kept the baby she was a girl. I wish I would went to a shelter for pregnant and home less women like me because I felt alone and iam always alone I got an abortion because I thought it was safe. The doctor there said it was safe. And that I can still get pregnant after my Abortion . But still iam sad… And wish I kept her she was gonna be born on February 11,2022… I did not feel the pain until I woke up in the recovery room and knew that my 20week baby was not in side my womb any more, because I let the Dr. Do the abortion on me…EVen ThOUGH I DiD NOT KnW WHo THE FATHeR WAs I KNOW I SHOuLD OF PROTECTED MY DAUGhTER CAUsE THaTs WHaT AYy GOoD MOm DOES…IAM ALSO HURtINg…AND Iam IN ALOT OF Pain…..I HAVe NO FRiENDs OR FAmILY WHo HElp ME OR TAlK TO Me CAUSE IDOnT KNoW Why….i Know I KILED MY BABY…

Anonymous September 24, 2021 - 9:33 pm

My heart breaks. I regret mine 30 years ago. I wish I had been brave and strong enough to refuse the menstrual extraction. I have asked God to forgive me and He has but I struggle to forgive myself. It’s awful and empty

Law September 28, 2021 - 1:49 pm

I really hate that they pressured her to kill her baby i know my mother was pressured to abort me and she fought for my life and she died 3x and the lord Jesus christ of Nazareth said that she had to come back to help raise us and 24 years later he took her back home.

Anonymous October 2, 2021 - 9:17 am

God be with you sweet girl Let It Go God’s got your baby

Bdub October 3, 2021 - 9:56 am

I’m so sorry for u. I am 40 and have already had one career that was successful… And was in law school going for a second when I got pregnant WHILE on depo… It’s not the ideal situation but I don’t think I’d be me anymore if I ended the pregnancy. I googled regretted abortions and this came up. No one is telling me to do it… Only saying it may be best.. But I think u just saved my baby’s life. Thank you n I love u… May sound crazy… But u helped a complete stranger and I thank you so much.

Elizabeth C. October 8, 2021 - 4:46 pm

Oh sweet girl, I COMPLETELY understand. I am now almost 53, and I, too, became pregnant at 15. I was so so naive!! My Mom was being the best Mom she knew how to be at that time when she said she’d figure out how I could terminate my pregnancy without my wealthy, powerful father finding out. I was terrified!! I loved my Dad, but I absolutely knew how he could be, and I was actually more afraid for my Mom than for myself. But I have regretted it every single day since. My soul was never whole again, and never ever will be. I now have two beautiful, brilliant, kind, amazing daughters who are 18 and 20.
But who knows, I could have had three…
I love you, sweet girl. We belong to a sadly special club, who no one should ever want to be a member of.

Carrie A M. October 11, 2021 - 11:15 am

I understand 100 percent. I am now a full blooded Christian saved by Jesus Christ. I repented for my murder. He forgave me and I will see my twin girls when I join them in heaven. You can have the same. I promise there is away to escape the beatings you get in your mind. Bless all who mourn for there is a true comforter. Bend your knees and talk to Jesus!

Dolly B. October 13, 2021 - 10:21 pm

I would just like to say, your testimony is important. And you need to be screaming your story from the roof tops. I knew other women suffer with their choice like my mother, but I had no idea how painful it would be to actually read these testimonies. My mother saved her grand babies life with her abortion testimony. When I had an unplanned pregnancy in college, I vented to my mom on the topic of abortion. I will NEVER forget the pain in her eyes as she held back tears and took my hand and plainly said, “I don’t want that guilt for you. I’m here.” She saved her grand babies life with the truth. And that baby saved my life. Being honest about the pain she lived with saved two lives in one swing. I have no doubt your testimonies will save others too. If pro choice cares about women, they need to care about women like you too. Don’t ever stop sharing your stories. You will save lives. God bless you all my sisters. Trust in his plan.

Judi M. October 14, 2021 - 9:42 am

Unfortunately, I was in your exact situation Except I was 13. My parents dragged me from abortion clinic to abortion clinic. Until they took me to a clinic that put me under. I told the nurses I didn’t want it. The put me under anyways. I mourn my baby. I was 14wks. I was so scared. My Mother called it “the mistake” I still bear the mental scars

Anonymous October 20, 2021 - 7:56 am

Oh my dear, I’m so sorry. Renounce/repent and ask for forgiveness from the Lord and He will forgive you. You should seek deliverance after that to remove all of the evil spirits that entered from that sin. Especially Lilith. God bless you!

S.G October 24, 2021 - 8:16 pm

After 5 years I still cry so freaking hard over my forced abortion. I beg god for forgiveness and have not still forgiven myself for being weak. I still can’t get over the fact that it was my own husband that says he loves me that forced me to do an abortion simply because he thought we were not ready financially. To whomever is reading this and wants to do abortion, please save yourself and your baby from the evil called “fear”…you are strong and can even do it alone….I love my aborted baby and I hope he/she can forgive me for this horrendous evil act. I’m very heartbroken from it, and time does not heal it….you will never forget. Please trust your motherly instincts and keep your baby, even if the whole world is against you!….

Lynn October 27, 2021 - 5:51 pm

Anonymous, I am so sorry you were left to carry all that pain. The parents and boyfriend are not the one who have to live with that. I will keep you in my prayers. Forgive yourself, they pressured you until you felt you had no choice.

Ann November 2, 2021 - 6:59 pm

67 and still regret what I did in my twenties. The older I get the worse I feel. I pray for their little souls.

Julie November 5, 2021 - 8:12 pm

I am in a situation where my husband is forcing me to get an abortion or he will leave me. I don’t want to make decisions under pressure. I don’t want to live with resentment and hurt afterwards.
No one has seen the future but do I want to raise this baby alone. It is a little healthy baby girl.

Isauna C. November 6, 2021 - 9:31 am

If you are pregnant you have a baby a living human being inside of you Babies are a gift from God A blessing Who knows what they’ll become The next Pastor President Dr Artist Worship Leader etc. God has a purpose for you and your baby and that includes the father of the baby Some mother’s to be are alone the father wants nothing to do with the mother or baby That’s ok cause all you really need is God yes you need your family but if they are not there for you You know you can always count on God He loves you and your baby and will give you wisdom and will help you raise your baby God will provide all you need all you have to do is ask Him Nothing is impossible for Him Don’t have an abortion you will regret it You will never forget it hurts and you will think about your baby when you see babies children teens adults as the years go by and you think of how old they would be on the day of the abortion that you did I know cause I had one He or she would of been 31 years old this year God does forgive us but it’s something that I truly regret doing I am blessed with four sons they are men now 33,31,23,21 They are a blessing 2 are police officers 2 Amazon Drivers and I’m so very proud of them I have 6 grandchildren 4 girls 2 boys and I love them all I am married and I love my family I thank God for His blessing of a family and thankful that He always provides for every need We are a blessed family You can have it too All you have to do is ask and you’ll receive He loves you and wants the best for you I pray this helps you to do what is right in God’s eyes

Daisy November 6, 2021 - 5:04 pm

I understand you please don’t feel angry it’s not your fault I promise I feel everyday sadness for what I did I also had no support I am sorry

Anonymous November 8, 2021 - 10:12 pm

Keep my baby. She is the best thing that I’ve ever done. She is now grown and away at college. Please find a way to keep your baby

Jasmine November 11, 2021 - 7:42 am

Your story touches Me because I suffer from major depression and I have no family or support. Parent gone never had even grandparents. My mom folks abused and neglected so I started having kids late in age. Anyways 1 baby my 3yr old I planned and wanted. 2nd not at all I forced myself to keep it being careless and irresponsible. 3rd I’m just way to vulnerable rn. I dont want to keep it being single mother of 2 I’m 35 all under age 5 with fibromyalgia and depression. My life is a complete mess but when I look at my health nb I cant help but want to keep it to love and force me to change my bad ways. Ty for sharing

Valessa S. November 13, 2021 - 12:12 am

Hi I just found out that I’m pregnant & I’m being pressured to get an abortion by the baby father & I don’t want to do it

Sandra December 2, 2021 - 10:00 am

I didn’t know, how this would haunt me for over 40years well actually for my whole life I’m 63 now and still regret that horrible choice. I had no support no one but me and an abortion clinic who convinced me I would be a horrible parent, because I was depressed! But my mom just died I thought that’s normal but not back then ? During the procedure the only word said was (oh its a boy) then it was over and Dr Glick was gone. I was given orange juice and told to get dressed and escorted to side door, where my little brother was waiting. Went home passed out sick 4 a week? I never got pregnant again So whatever happened in that place was permanent 4 me. I just didn’t know!

Aurora R December 19, 2021 - 11:56 pm


Natasha G December 26, 2021 - 11:30 pm

I had an abortion in the past. It hurt so much to live with that guilt, but what I can say is that God forgives!!! I had to come to God with a sincere heart begging for forgiveness and repent for my sin. He has forgiven and redeemed me. He has lifted that burden from my life! Now I want to help other women and young teens that have and are in the same situation that I once was! Turn to Jesus Christ because he is the way, the truth, and the life.

Sandy December 30, 2021 - 5:39 am

Anonymous, your story is my story . Know that Jesus loves you and you are forgiven all you need to do is ask him. It took me years to accept his grace and forgive myself. I’m 66 years old now and always wonder how different my life would have been if I had my Son in it.

Lostandhurt January 7, 2022 - 8:16 am

Wow. I found this website just searching to see how women feel about having an abortion and I have to admit I am so surprised by the responses. It seems like everyone regrets on having one. I am in a situation where I am thinking about having one, because my life is a complete mess but most of all I am pregnant with a child from a man I dont want to be with.
It s a very complicated situation.
but I feel like its best to just get rid of the child and then I lll be ok. But of course I am having second thoughts and I keep thinking will the guilt of an abortion hurt me more than the guilt of having the child.
I dont have money, or family support or anything. I dont have anyone and I know I would be dealing with this alone.
Sigh I am just so lost and confused. It is comforting to see that many women did not feel proud of their abortions and that helps many of us women who are considering it.
I am just hurt. I need help emotionally. I dont know what to do. I am so lost.

Anonymous January 10, 2022 - 4:57 am

I too feel lost. I’m 29 and currently coparent a 6 year old but basically a single mom.The father of my unexpected child is also someone I had an affair with. He is divorced now, and we started seeing each again. He hasn’t told me to get an abortion , he’s just kept saying he keeps thinking about his two sons and how it’s going to affect them. He avoided me a couple of days after telling him I was pregnant. He says his ex wife is going to lose it once she finds out. And that I would have to move where he is because he is not leaving his kids. I just expected him to be supportive because he says he loves me. When I first found out I was anxious but not terrified or sad. And now I’m confused because of how the father has been toward me. And how this will affect my 6 year old daughter. What kind of life will I be bringing her into. I need to turn to God , I am so lost too. Most of you are right it’s so easy to get an abortion pill that seems like it will take all the problems away. Praying for guidance and strength.

Anonymous January 19, 2022 - 10:04 am

There is no sin that God can’t forgive.

Patricia T. January 21, 2022 - 12:30 pm

Always chose your baby they are a part of you there are plenty people to help you and you will never grieve pray to the blessed mother to be with you always to help raise your baby the joys you receive can never be taken away and that baby will give you love I have 8 children and am so grateful for all of them my husband worked 3 jobs and I worked never had any regrets KEEP YOUR BABY

Jill S. January 23, 2022 - 6:11 pm


Laur B January 31, 2022 - 4:30 pm

I accidentally found that I was pregnant by taking a friend’s spare test in the bathroom of my favorite local gas store. I was only taking it to be silly and she had too many. It turns out that we were both pregnant. I was devastated, scared, and worried. I was a wild child, 16, already partying pretty hard. I drank and did illegal drugs and was careless to say the least, some may say I was acting out due to emotional abuse and neglect. I kept quiet knowing my options would be slim and I would be pushed in the way of abortion.
I learned I was pregnant on in September. I finally stoked up the nerve to announce my secret in February of the following year. I’ll never forget sitting beside my sister and telling the panel (my parent group) me and my sis had it all worked out. 4 years my senior,she would take my baby and raise it as hers and I would go on with life as I knew it.
As we present to the panel, we both lost enthusiasm. I could have cut the tension in the air with a knife. We knew the dreaded. I wasn’t on the side of either really, I knew it was going to be a loss to me either way. I’m not sure I ever even considered that I could raise the baby.
So begins my abortion journey. The panel and I set search for the right clinic, the right day, and the right time. Finalizing the baby’s fate in that appointment was difficult but it wasn’t til we arrived at the appointment and the insurance fell through that I remember feeling a sense of relief. The ride home was silent. I was a bundle of emotions that I just didn’t understand.
The next week the panel and I took a trip in the opposite direction. We were to have a procedure. A different clinic, nicer. We walked in the back door because a few protestors were in the front. The walls in the whole business were painted a pretty shade of amethyst. There was a upbeat song on the radio “Baby love” the radio screamed at me. I was sad. The place had a nursery vibe.
I remember the nurses taking me back. It seems like I was the only girl there but I was extremely dysregulated, tunnel vision, if you will. They administered the twilight drugs and as I was fading, the nurse holding the ultrasound wand said its a boy, or maybe I imagined that.
Next thing I remember was waking up to a nurse telling me to drink the oj and take my medicine, so I did. When I could get up and dressed I did and we drove home.
I never asked any questions. I didn’t know and couldn’t bare the details. I justified and prayed and begged for forgiveness and I forgive myself until the feelings started to creep back up and I would was them away with drugs and alcohol. I wonder if that child survived? If so, what became of him/her?
This life has been a wild ride. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve made bad choices. I’ve made a mess. I’ve been the worst person in America. I’ve done good too though. I’ve given to the needy, I’ve titled in many ways, I’ve helped anytime I can. I know that doesn’t pave my way to heaven but if I ever get to go, I know will rejoice with that child and others on those streets of goa

Unknown February 2, 2022 - 6:10 am

Im so inspired by your story, I am 34 year old woman who had an abortion at a young age and for a long time didn’t have an outlet for my feelings. I walked this earth with shame and regret and unable to speak of what I did. I still dream of this child I even see his face and gave him a name the hardest part for me is in my dream we love each other so much yet I must leave him. It’s the rest on my life torcher no one warns you about. I am a mother of 4 now but I am forever haunted.

Ara February 4, 2022 - 11:36 am

Oct 31st 2021

My life changed for ever . I was 7 months pp. i have two beautiful children. & I would of had three. Everything happened so fast. I thought I overcame that season in my life. Forgiven & healed. Oh I was wrong. & I don’t know where to start. The first experience in my life where I feel and continue to feel pain, guilt, remorse, sadness, and so much more. I always ask myself why. . . Feeling the way I feel now and then, why did I do this. My fiancé , my children mean everything to me. Why not this baby.? Why not my third why not this time ? . I don’t even know. I was so selfish for temporary plans & feelings. I didn’t trust myself or god & I failed us all. I was so weak minded , I let the devil win. I pray and hoped my baby forgiven me. God please forgive me. The fear of the unknown is what made me make a very regrettable decision. . I let fear win. I battle myself randomly . . & I loss my drive in life. & I just want to live again. Live with what’s done and what’s to come & have faith & be at peace with it all. But how ? I don’t even know where to start. Anyone that asks . . Please , please don’t rush into making such a life changing decision. Think about your baby. Think about everything before making a decision that will change you and your life forever. Once you really think about it , you wouldn’t feel what we feel. Ever. . I love you baby I am sorry & I pray healing arise. . one day.

Jenny February 6, 2022 - 6:38 am

When I was 17th my Step mom made me have abortion when and I still blame myself for doing the abortion with my first babies I look up in the sky sometimes when I am walking by myself and I will just talk to the babie all the time and I don’t believe in abortion I think babies should have a chance to be born

Anon February 6, 2022 - 12:54 pm

I’d like to sue the clinic that performed mine. I instantly regretted it and feel like it was extremely immoral and evil. Has anyone tried a lawsuit?

Kristin C. February 8, 2022 - 10:18 pm

Thank you for bravely sharing your story. My heart breaks for the pain that you are going through. To everyone here who commented/replied, I am praying for all of you. God has forgiven you. He loves you so much, and I know your babies are waiting for you in heaven. I haven’t gone through what you have, but I have lost an unborn child (to a miscarriage). I would definitely encourage you to honor your babies any way you feel would be the best way for you to remember them. My husband & I named our child, we get a cake every year on the anniversary of when he went to heaven, and we celebrate every year on the anniversary of his due date. He would have been 12 now. It’s never too late to start a new tradition to honor the memory of your child. It can help you to heal. I also encourage you to check out these post abortive resources. I pray that God blesses you and heals you.
Project Rachel:
Rachel’s Vineyard:
Focus on the Family Post Abortive Recovery Resources:
Heartbeat International Abortion Recovery:

Crystal D. February 10, 2022 - 11:14 am

Thank you for sharing your story!! So I went through a healing from an abortion class that was life changing!! Through life choices there’s a group I took called Save One by Sheila Harper!! You can look her up also and reach out they are amazing people!!

Debbie C. February 14, 2022 - 7:55 pm

40 years latter I still suffer from grief sadness mad at my self the doctor who told me it wasn’t a baby at 4 weeks. Well all in all I can’t blame anyone but my self. The sin I live with is never to be forgiven. I have been thru many horrible times rape. Not going for help blameinibg myself this I have be able to somehow get over but the killing of a unborn child is something that has forever changed my life. I know God has forgiven me but at the older age I am I still don’t see how no grave to visit no place to grief no forgiveness. I would love to be able to talk to young girls in dalton Ga before they feel the shame are the reason they feel this must be done is a outcome that may haunt you till you leave this world.

Doris February 15, 2022 - 2:23 pm

My daughter is 16 and pregnant I’m tryin to get her not to do an abortion.. but she really wants one said if she keeps it it will destroy her that having an abortion is easy I have talked to her repeatedly that is not easy that she will regret this! Tryin desperately to talk her into keeping it prayers that she does keep it

Anonymous March 5, 2022 - 7:37 pm

So very sorry. What’s done is done. You are so very young. These bullies pressured a young, lovely, innocent girl. Forgive them their selfishness and ignorance, and go on with your life. Look to the future and be strong. You must fight. God Bless You.

Jenn March 7, 2022 - 9:49 pm

I need guidance. I have 4 children youngest is 4 months. I just found out I’m pregnant again and I feel so embarrassed selfish and ashamed of myself. I was looking into abortion but I am so scared of the after life. Someone please guide me. Life is already as hard as is. Everything is so expensive

Anonymous March 9, 2022 - 2:13 pm

I’m so sad. I wish to God I had kept my baby. The Christian protesters outside the women’s facility only added to my fear, shame, and guilt. It’s been 8 years and I am still heartbroken to the point of wailing in a puddle of tears for the life I lost. People say you will feel relieved. You won’t. Praying for any woman who has been through this no matter what you decide.

Michaela B. March 13, 2022 - 11:59 pm

My mom and bf at the time pressured me….I have. 6 year old…it’s been 2 years and I still can’t let it go….I’m angry…I’m angry at my mom cause she was supposed to be my rock and she let me down all cause she didn’t wanna have to deal with another kid…the dad was useless and a jerk and was abusive to me…I was scared that if I chose to have the baby he would fight to take it from me cause he threatened that…and also how upset my mom would have been and how much hell I would go through….I’m angry at myself that even tho all of that was a factor I gave up on my baby…I gave up on myself…I just want my baby!

MargaretM. March 15, 2022 - 8:21 am


Anthony March 17, 2022 - 11:52 am

Heard good things about a program called Project Rachel I think. It’s said to be a very healing experience for women who are victims of abortion, and men as well. My heart goes out to all of the women who have been through feeling abandoned and pressured in a time when they needed love and support.

Sherri P. March 17, 2022 - 1:48 pm

I didn’t abort at 16 or 18 years old. I now have a beautiful daughter with a PH. D in chemistry and my oldest son is an officer in the Marines. So grateful that I don’t have to live with regret. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it.

Gabrielle March 24, 2022 - 4:42 pm

I encourage you to seek out a post abortion support group. With God all things are forgiven if you are repentant.
May you find peace as you seek healing.

Anonymous March 26, 2022 - 7:29 pm

Our God is a forgiving God. He is a loving God. I am so sorry the pain you feel, but Know that God still loves you no matter what happened in your past.

Jean April 1, 2022 - 8:25 pm

What horrible parents

Ashley M. April 3, 2022 - 7:36 am


Ashley April 5, 2022 - 4:11 pm

My first pregnancy ended in a D&C which is a medical term for abortion. The doctors told me the baby was not viable. The heart was beating, but there was fluid in the brain and lungs and heart. They told me the genetic test came back and showed Turners Syndrome. They convinced me an abortion would be the best option. I tried to rationalize everything in my mind and think of how the baby probably wouldn’t survive based on what they told me. But the entire process was so horrible. I remember at the abortion clinic the doctor was just cold hearted and rude. He showed no sympathy for me grieving for my baby. It was so hard because they did the ultrasound at the office and the heart was still beating. I can’t get over the fact that I chose to go through with it. I’ll still never know if the baby would’ve made it full term or not, but the process was just so traumatic. I remember asking if I was able to get the remains cremated and the doctor laughed at me. I never got to see my baby. I never got to look at her. I was 3 months pregnant, and seeing the size of a 3 month old in the womb shatters my heart.

Anonymous April 6, 2022 - 3:02 am

I was 16 the 1st time I got pregnant. My boyfriend wanted me to get an abortion. I didn’r want my mom to know. But I was filled with guilt and shame after it was over. I began drinking and druging to mask my pain. Not in sound mind absent of any real wisdom I got pregnant and aborted three more times. At age 23 I married because I was pregnant. Having my son saved my life. It also changed my perception on abortion. I wish I would have realized how precious these little lives are when I was 16. I am now a grandmother of six grandchildren and today I still grieve the loss of the four children who didn’t get a chance to live because I made the wrong choice. Abortion is not a solution to the problem, abortion is a life long problem. If I had it to do over again, at 16 I would have had the baby and stopped the cycle of destruction of three more little lives that deserved to live.

SC April 11, 2022 - 4:16 am

Im 23. I just find out that I’m pregnant. My boyfriend don’t want me to keep it. My sister’s are coaching me into abortion just because they don’t think I’m financially stable to be a single mom right now. After reading this I just told everyone that I’m not having an abortion because I believe God will not forgive me and them for being a playing a role in this. I gotta be the bigger person and take responsibility. I can take care of myself and I make my own money. Hopefully I can find a job and continue college after I have my baby. I’m sure my baby will be fine. I’m just really scared of pushing a baby out. That’s gonna hurt.

Julia H. April 15, 2022 - 5:36 am

Aubrey, you are NOT alone. I had an abortion at 12 weeks over 40 years ago. My parents has always warned my sister and me that they would not support our having a baby “out if wedlock”. Things were very different back then – more social stigma, etc. i was living in an apartment with a roommate in Texas. I had to go to California for the procedure. I learned years later that my roommate had called my parents after I left for CA. I’ve never been able to really get over it even though years later I married & had 2 children. Believe it or not that helped. Yes, the pain is worse than they tell you – I had bleeding linger than normal so had to go to an OB/GYN that I didn’t know to be taken care of. I can tell you this – I
if I had the chance to do it over I would not have had the abortion no matter what my parents or society thought. We don’t have that choice but I know that my baby is in heaven & that I’ll see him someday. That’s my only real peace. I hope you feel better physically & emotionally soon. Don’t heaitate to find a professional to talk with. Please take care of yourself

Bri April 16, 2022 - 9:09 pm

Im so sorry I’m actually pregnant I’m 19 and I’m so confused on what to do right now my boyfriend broke up with me because of it and now I’m pregnant with his child and I really don’t know what to do I want to keep it and not tell him but I don’t know I’m stressed out and need some help please

Gail S. April 19, 2022 - 6:06 pm

The regret never goes away. It’s been 40 years.

Anonymous April 24, 2022 - 1:36 pm

Praying for you to have peace

felicia April 26, 2022 - 7:48 am

I also had an abortion 30 years ago ..its still painful..I ask God for forgiveness every day ..

Pam R. April 30, 2022 - 2:10 am

The Lord Loves You, and He knows Your heart, and He knows that You were forced and manipulated into having the abortion!
Stay close to Jesus and someday You will see Your Baby! Give him or her a name, and thank the Father in Heaven for Forgiveness, Grace, and Love!
I had a miscarriage, but my husband & I gave him a name, if he is a son, and gave her a name, if she is a daughter! We Love him or her soo much, even though the baby did not get to live, her or she is still living with Papa in Heaven! Much Love!

Debra May 2, 2022 - 7:18 pm

First of all let me say that God is merciful and has provided a way to be forgiven; “There is none righteous, no not one”. And the penalty for sin is death (God’s judgment); however, God has sent His Son to die for everyone who comes into the world; His Son took the penalty of sin for us, so that we will not perish in Hades someday; please read the book of John, esp. the 3rd chapter. My family had many abortions, and tragically this has continued to the next generation – what’s left of it.

Roneesha S. May 5, 2022 - 8:13 am

I miss being pregnant. I was just going through so much. I wasn’t strong enough. I love you baby please forgive me. My biggest regret.

Allie May 6, 2022 - 6:57 pm

I am so sorry you were for ed to endure the procedure & the loss of your child. I pray God gives you peace & comfort.

Patty L. May 7, 2022 - 8:32 am

God can forgive. If you ask God to forgive and turn your life over to Christ and ask for forgiveness, He will forgive. You will see the baby, again in Heaven. They go back to the Lord. God is still in charge.

Kaley S May 11, 2022 - 3:54 pm

You are not alone. You can rest assured your baby is in heaven with the Lord. If you know Jesus Christ as your savior, you will see him/her again one day. God bless you.

Sandra G. May 14, 2022 - 11:19 am

In the movie heaven is for real when the little boy says I have a sister she came up to me and hugged me but she has no name you didn’t name her but that mother had a miscarriage I think of that when I think of my abortion I was 8 weeks but one day we will meet in heaven as I know Jesus is there until I see my child I can’t wait to put my arms around him or her

Sharon Mooreabortiontes May 15, 2022 - 1:11 am

Dearest hearts,
There is no need to beat yourself up for decisions that were made either by you or someone else. You are loved and God forgives, just ask Him! Then you will need to forgive yourself and others. Your baby is with God and alive! Trust your heart and life to Jesus. If you do, you will see your children again in Heaven. That’s good news!

Love you,

Sharon (Christian)

Margaret Mary Frolo May 22, 2022 - 8:51 pm


Anonymous May 23, 2022 - 7:42 pm

I am crying for you in 2022 because I feel the exact same and in the same position. I can’t stop crying I feel ugly and ashamed and alone and selfish. I miss my baby and I hate myself for allowing others opinions and feelings to override my own! I don’t know why I am so weak that I do it so much!!!! I’m tired of putting others first that don’t think about my feelings when telling me how they feel and what they think. I pray God will forgive me and send me my daughter back that I never had…I have three sons and seeing pregnant women makes me cry and even seeing kids is making me sad and angry now…idk what to do and my “boyfriend “ who we been talking the past two years is not being supportive or loving at all before or after! I hate my life and now I’ll go back to crying. I love everyone and praying that y’all heal please pray for me as well … -anonymous

I.G May 25, 2022 - 1:07 pm

But how do we get through this? I deal with this pain just like all of you. How do we move on? I need help and I don’t know how to get it? I can’t talk to my family about it and my friends don’t understand. I want to repeat that day over so I can make a U-turn and never go to the clinic.
I just want peace and I can’t find it. I want my baby. I want it so bad.

Jeanne May 30, 2022 - 2:36 pm

I was 17 and 5 1/2 months pregnant I was kidnapped by my family and was forced to go to nyc it was illegal in ct. I saw the baby girl laying between my legs dark hair the nurse said it was to soon. My brother and his wife took me there so I would not run away. That was 45 years ago what happened to my baby. I ran away started drinking and doing drugs didn’t go to my high school classes and I died when she was murdered. I think about her every day. LOST JEANNE MALTAS

Anonymous June 4, 2022 - 5:45 pm

I’m 50 years old and my girlfriend and I had two abortions at age 18 and 19. This was not my choosing but I will share in the blame as I was a part of the abortions. I was a Christian at a very early age, around 10 years old I asked Jesus to come into my heart. I knew it was wrong to murder my children. I was on the phone for hours with my girlfriend who convinced me both times that this was her decision and that I was responsible for paying for them and taking her to the clinic. I told her I would marry her if we could keep the babies and I tried telling her other things as well to try and convince her to change her mind. The second abortion is where I feel the most sad and responsible. Even though I felt attached to the baby in her womb and let her know that, when I was finally convinced I remember I hardened my heart to the thought of what we were going to do and I drove across state lines to meet her at her college, and we aborted our child. This has led to so many other really bad sins and my faith has been in doubt on many occasions. I just beg of you if you’re reading this and looking to abort, please don’t. Take a deep breath and know that it’s ok and that God will see you through this and that you’ll be ok-do not take the life of a child, your child. You will regret it. I don’t know what I could’ve done differently other than told her I will not support your decision and not pay for it but I didn’t do that. Please seek help from a pregnancy center-they can help. Or a priest.

Jennifer L June 6, 2022 - 8:29 am

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I was 16 and close to 7 months pregnant when my stepfather forced my mother to take me to have an abortion that I never wanted. I am 57 now and the images of that day will never leave my mind or my heart.
Healing Hugs to you.

Noah June 9, 2022 - 8:44 am

God bless you women sharing you painful and personal stories. I am a husband with 2 boys and a baby coming in 7 months. I cannot imagine the pain you feel, but like so many have said there is healing and forgiveness in our loving and merciful God. I’m so sorry you were lied to by the people who are supposed to love you the most. Please don’t go on trying to fight this pain alone, go to a church or pro life centre, they will help you. You’re heart can be healed but you must travel down the difficult road of forgiveness.

May you see your sweet babies again in paradise.

Lorilyn b. June 13, 2022 - 2:01 pm

I had an abortion over 44 years ago and still grieve my lost baby my mom wanted me to have the abortion but I’ve never gotten over doing it my child would be 45 now with children of his or her own i went on to have 2 more children and now am a grandmother of 7 but i still grieve my lost baby i have asked god and the babys father for forgiveness but i still have guilt

Anonymous June 19, 2022 - 2:55 pm

I had the exact same situation you did. I know your pain

C. Antonin June 19, 2022 - 4:55 pm

My Dearest broken hearted I just saw your story and will pray everyday thst God will heal your memories; what you experienced from the family around you is astonishing. Please don’t feel guilty, we have a loving ,forgiving God and most importantly He loves you and knows your heart ❤ I will be your friend in prayer and I hope that you have a beautiful family one day. Xox With Love, Cambria

Anonymous June 21, 2022 - 6:05 pm

I was 21 my husband was a drunk and a drug dealer! I was working fro 8-5 every day and selling Tupperware at night to pay rent. Found out I was pregnant! I walked in on my husband having sex with his co worker. I was living in Arizona with no relatives for support. I moved back to my home state and got sick. The doctors thought I had lupus. I was pregnant and didn’t know what to do. I decided to have an abortion as I didn’t know how long I was going to live if his I could support myself let alone a child! I have hated myself every day since the abortion! I was misdiagnosed, I don’t have lupus but Wegeners disease! I wasn’t treated with the proper medications so I have had problems all throughout my life. I did have another child whom I love dearly but still hate myself for having an abortion! I am 70 now and have hated myself for the last 50 years! It never goes away, you will never forget what you did! I just want to tell you all that it is a child you are killing! Let that sink in! If you don’t want kids, use protection! There are birth control pills and other devices that stop pregnancies! Please use some common sense…if you don’t want a child use protection! Abortion is murder!

T June 24, 2022 - 11:18 am

I am so sorry you were pressured to have this abortion. There is a group called Surrender the Secret that specifically helps post abortion moms get through the anguish and emotions you are going through right now. Many prayers and blessings, may you find peace.

Helen June 25, 2022 - 3:42 am

I had no choice back in 1976 and I had the abortion all I remember is being in the waiting room with all other women who talked about getting an abortion so they could go out and party my two older sisters took me to some clinic I was only 17 years old and remember my older sister talking to the lady at the desk telling her to take me first I payed down on the table and crying so hard and when over I left the clinic but I was never the same to find out that my older sister worked for planned parenthood I never knew it but found out about it . And abortions kill life for example if you were say a couple weeks pregnant and your boyfriend does something causes you to miscarry he goes up for murder so what makes abortions any different

Mary C. June 25, 2022 - 8:50 am

Your baby is in Heaven and you will re-unite there. I can’t imagine the pain of feeling so alone and being forced to kill your child. I really could never forgive those who wanted this. Thank you for sharing this story. I pray that you will have another child some day, a baby that you can treasure and protect. God bless you, Sweetheart.

Mary T June 26, 2022 - 6:09 pm

Please ladies, there is hope, help and healing through the Ministry of Rachel’s Vineyard (Project Rachel) for post-abortive women and men. It is a retreat where you can share your pain openly, without judgment. It is a ministry of the Roman Catholic Church. “Come let us reason together. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. Though they be red as crimson they shall be as wool.” Isaiah Chapter 1 verse 18. May God bless and heal you .

Laurie S. June 28, 2022 - 4:00 pm

I had two abortions. I have read alot the comments on here. I can tell you it led me to drinking and drugs and it only worsened after my abortion at 19 yo. I had a second one at age 29.. I got sober and the only thing that I could not wrap my head around was the shame, guilt and dark emptiness in my soul I was left with.. I was led in that journey through my faith and recovery process to a post abortive retreat called Rachelsvineyard.org . It as Gods answer to my prayer and helped me begin a my life in His mercy, grace and forgiveness and helped me to forgive myself. I never knew how that retreat really would change my life..but it has, my story is barely written down but I do share it. I have been journaling for years and maybe I will write about it, maybe it’s God’s will, I will pray about it. I really with all my heart suggest my friends is to look into this if you have not heard of it. It really changed my life and God has out people in my life through my recovery journey as well to help too… Today I truly believe my addiction and alcoholism is or was very affected by those two choice’s I made to end the lives that were growing inside of me. I have experienced many factor’s that My Body, My Choice movement’s use as an excuse to end a baby’s life. There is no excuse. God can turn any situation into a blessing for you or others.

A June 28, 2022 - 11:00 pm

I always wondered why they protect the ones who want to abort instead of also protecting the people who are being pressured and forced.

I have not had an abortion but when I went to planned parenthood to get proof of pregnancy to get state medicaid they wouldn’t let my husband go with me and they took me to a small dusty locked room with a desk where a woman sat there for an hour trying to convince me to abort a baby that was well past the legal abortion threshold in my state. They tried and tried and then left a short time and that’s when I discovered they locked me in the room. A few minutes later some nurse came to peek in and she forgot to lick the door so I ran out to the front as the woman who tried to pressure me was walking down the hall. They looked upset that I left the room but they couldn’t change my mind anyway. I never had intentions to abort.

There should be more laws protecting a woman’s actual choice not just making it so abortion happens more often.

Anonymous July 7, 2022 - 5:00 am

I took my ex- girlfriend in planned parenthood! Now I regret every day not knowing if I could see my baby girl or boy! You are in my prayers as all those who have lost

Meghan Elizabeth July 25, 2022 - 3:42 pm

I really feel for you my mother went through an adoration and 2 of my sisters did to. I now 35 and I really think we should help woman who have had adoration mentally & effectively the rest of there lives. This world is so crushed and beyond re-pare but we can help heal these woman. I will never get an abortion or teach my kids any of culture government bull that are in schools. Homeschool ur kids people.

Anonymous August 3, 2022 - 4:49 pm

You are one brave girl….God will forgive you if you ask forgiveness…I will pray for that you have the power to get.
Through this. God bless you as you
Get on with your life.

Bryan D. August 5, 2022 - 3:20 am

I’m so sorry you experienced this.

Linda Joan Crean September 30, 2022 - 4:51 pm

Dear darling daughter of Almighty God my heart goes out to you. I ask our Heavenly Father to comfort you in Jesus name. Father God Lord Jesus and the Holy Spirit love you and your baby. Your darling child is in Heaven and holds no animosity towards you but loves you and is waiting to see you when you get to Heaven. You are so loved. I miscarried 3 babies had a daughter miscarried once more had a son miscarried once again then had my last child another son almost lost him. A minister told me that they are in Heaven. When I went home from Church that night and put my three to bed I then got into bed and heard in my heart so clear, “their fine their with me” I knew it was the Lord Jesus speaking to my heart. Now when I think of my five babies I know their not lost their with Jesus waiting for me. I speak Peace over you now and will see you in Heaven please come to my house when we get there.

Liana October 10, 2022 - 7:47 pm

I have been through almost the same exact situation. And it definitely takes a piece of you heart that you can’t ever get back. It’s been 15 years and it still feels like yesterday. I did have a son 8 years ago and I’m pregnant right now with another and I had a hard time accepting both pregnancies because it feels unfair to my first. I feel I don’t deserve them.

Liana October 10, 2022 - 7:52 pm

I hope things get better for you and anyone else out there who has gone through this too.

Natasha December 2, 2022 - 9:56 pm

I feel for you. I have had more than one, and I will never forgive myself. Lots of pressure from family and the father to get an abortion. That is not “choice”. That’s China.

AnnyOnomus December 7, 2022 - 5:03 pm

So IRONIC how it is labeled FREEDOM OF CHOICE when this young woman clearly had HER choice taken away! Disgusting.

Anonymous December 12, 2022 - 6:49 pm

My granddaughter got pregnant when she was in college. She never thought about aborting the baby. Instead, she chose to give it up for adoption. She allowed me to pick the parents. I asked for parents that would allow an open adoption. This means we could stay in touch with the parents and get pictures and such. At one point, when the now teenager was in high school, and we now lived in the same state, this now young teenager asked to meet us, which was so special. Since then, our granddaughter now lives in the same city with her husband and two children, that are both in high school. This now your person is 22 and has graduated from college with a master’s degree in social work. This person and our granddaughter often meet for lunch. They have a very special relationship. Our granddaughter is so glad she never even thought about having an abortion because she would have taken that child’s right to life, and what a mistake that would have been. There are so many parents out there who can not have children for whatever reason. Rather than taking a life, our granddaughter gave one couple the gift of her child and has always felt she did the right thing knowing her baby was being raised by a happy couple who actually wanted the baby and eventually adopted another.

Anonymous December 12, 2022 - 7:07 pm

Aubrey, guilt is a useless emotion that accomplishes nothing. Your baby is alive in paradise and is very happy. Let this give you some peace. Your parents and his were wrong to force you into making such a decision. No matter your age, the decision should have been yours to make. Yes, you were too young but to force you to kill a baby was wrong. That said, it’s past, and there is nothing you can do to change what you did. If you have asked God to forgive you, He has. You don’t have to ask Him again, but you do need to forgive yourself, your parents, your boyfriend, and his parents. Put it behind you and move on. Guilt is not what our Father wants you to feel. Again, if you have asked for forgiveness, you have received it but haven’t accepted it. Not for one second was your baby dead. Its little body was, but its soul was not. The second that little body died, it was alive in Paradise. You need to take a deep breath, forgive yourself, and move on. If you don’t, you are robbing yourself of living a life of joy. That would be a waste. God does not want that for you. He wants you to feel the love of Jesus in your heart.

Anonymous December 26, 2022 - 7:50 pm

I know what you were going through. I got pregnant the night I graduated from high school, I was told I had to abort. But I thank God my mother was Catholic, and she didn’t abort me either. As she was an unwed mother. I’m alive and I just couldn’t ever think about killing my baby. Yes, for who ever reads this, TODAY there is so much help for pregnant unwed mothers.. seek help for the unborn. God wants all children to b born. No matter how the pregnancy came about. Our bodies and child belongs to God!

Anonymous December 26, 2022 - 8:11 pm

I know what you were going through. I got pregnant the night I graduated from high school, I was told I had to abort. But I thank God my mother was Catholic, and she didn’t abort me either. As she was an unwed mother. I’m alive and I just couldn’t ever think about killing my baby. Yes, for who ever reads this, TODAY there is so much help for pregnant unwed mothers.. seek help for the unborn. God wants all children to b born. No matter how the pregnancy came about. Our bodies and child belongs to God!

I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME – Rick Livermore Webmaster220 San Juan Capistrano California January 24, 2023 - 5:52 pm

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Anonymous January 29, 2023 - 11:32 am

I too had a abortion and feel just like you do .Pressured into it when I wanted my baby so much.I too live this horror every day of my life. I was 5 months pregnant…I hid clothes for my baby from my parents and did everything I knew how to, but no one was ever there for me to help me and I was so afraid and had no where to go..I was suppose to be his safety net ,and I failed my own little baby boy.This has been 51 years ago but there’s not a day that goes by I never forget him and his tiny little body just laying there lifeless.I prayed to hear a cry but I didnt..it was my cry I heard.You need to write a book like I did in hopes of saving other little ones.Thats all I could do is to try and help others.My heart is with yours sweeet girl and just know if you ask forgiveness the Lord will forgive you.In my life hes never forgotten. God bless you..We will see them again!

Delia F. March 6, 2023 - 8:03 pm

My dear Kimberley, forgiveness is there for you. Pray to God to show you the way to healing and trust in Him. If you ask, He will forgive. It is also very important and part of the healing process for you to forgive yourself and vow to commit no more such sins. God will heal you; He will forgive you and show you the path to redemption. I too will pray for you. God bless you, sweetheart.

Bella F March 16, 2023 - 9:59 am

sad i have been leaving with mine for 5 years on September 19,2023 my first baby boy would of been 5

Christine April 5, 2023 - 6:18 pm

I’m 57 years old. I had an abortion when I was young. It never leaves you, it never goes away. I think daily about it 30 some years later!!!
Please reconsider listen to the heartbeat. Planned Parenthood does not let you listen to heartbeat but THEY DO to make sure baby has attached and is forming. That’s why they ask you to miss two cycles (6-7) weeks before you can abort.
If you are pregnant right now, chose life please. It will haunt you for the rest of your life. So many other options.

Janet April 14, 2023 - 10:01 pm

Dear Aubrey. I can only imagine the emotional pain you are going through. I hope in time you will realize the abortion was not your fault. Getting pregnant however was something you are responsible for. Please get counseling if you have not already.

When I was 15, a very long time ago back in September 1964, birth control pills were very new and at 15 you just didn’t go to planned parenthood to get them. Abortions were illegal and very dangerous done in dark buildings by quacks and money hungry doctors many times in unsanitary conditions. My boyfriend who was not quite 17 did support me emotionally. The day after Thanksgiving that year, I got very sick. Typical morning sickness that lasted every day ALL day until I was in my 5th month. That’s when my mom accused me of being pregnant. My boyfriend and I had already planned that evening with the long weekend to run away. We didn’t even own a car so we had a friend pick me up and my boyfriends older sister found us a place to stay until the heat died down.

We called my parents that same evening and they said to come home because I was getting an abortion. We said, “No” When we phoned them the next day, they told me to come home and they were taking me out of town to live with my older brother and his young wife and I would have to give my baby away. Again we said no. The 3rd day we were gone, we again called my parents and they said we would all see a counselor, his parents included and we would let the family counselor make the decision. Long story a bit longer, the counselor suggested that we get married and keep our baby and that is what we did.

After 12 years of marriage, we divorced but I never regretted my decision. My only child will be 58 years old in June and she got married right after high school, she was NOT pregnant but she now has 5 grown children and is the grandmother of twin boys and will be married 40 years in June as well. She knows my story and is very much a pro life supporter as I am. I was blessed for sure but my dear, you were young with not much support from anyone. I imagine you will someday have another child and your pain will ease. Please don’t blame yourself. God is in control. You are loved always by Him. Time does help.

On a positive note, my daughter has an interview with a chapter of Pro Life next week for a position and I pray she gets the position as she will be such an asset. You could be such an asset yourself in the future helping in some way to help other young scared women to make a positive decision. There is always positivity in helping others. God Bless you!!

Anonymous April 16, 2023 - 6:20 am

im currently pregnant right now i have support on both sides it is just the dad that is presssuring me to get an abortion , even though it was planned but unexpected he says if i get an abortion we can try again later but it doesnt feel right , i love that you are so open about your feelings and how it did effect you after you made me open my eyes and thank you so much you are so strong , your baby will come back to you❤️

mary April 20, 2023 - 12:14 pm

at the age of 16 my parents made that choice for me – I was in love with the boy next door. both sets of parents stepped in and set the time for everything – he was made to leave for the summer and stay with family – i was never to speak to him again – hard when he lived next door and we had all the same friends. This was 47 years ago and although I have 3 amazing grown sons now I always wonder “what if” It makes me sad, however my parents felt that giving the child up would cause to much pain in my life. I became a home body and had no friends for the last two years of HS. It does leave a whole in your heart, that child would have been a child of a child but loved for sure. Just know that if you making that decision for a minor, don’t isolate her, don’t keep it a hush, get her help let her speak to someone. 47 years later and know that many of the decisions I have made in my life to date may have gone very different.

Arnel May 7, 2023 - 2:34 pm

Every year, Mother’s Day, my heart aches. To know that I was going to be a mother in 2007, only to have an abortion on 12/28/06. My sister got pregnant a few months later, in March, 2007, and gave birth to her son on 12/18/07. I felt immense pressure to end the pregnancy. I’m now 40 years old, and have yet to experience the gift of motherhood. It bothers me and it hurts on so many levels. No one can process or explain why women who have had abortions feel pain. We often blame ourselves for the guilt we feel, even up to the day of the procedure. I recently had a vaginal myomectomy to remove a cervical fibroid from my cervix. Putting the pills inside of my vagina really gave me a flashback of the abortion. I’m very honest and transparent, but I really do miss my child. I often wonder what he/she would be like, and how he/she would make this world a much better place for all. I have forgiven myself, but a part of me misses my first child.

Annette May 10, 2023 - 9:51 am

I know how you feel. I am suffering too! God Bless You. I know your painful story can help others.

Gemz July 4, 2023 - 12:20 am

I am 28 years old and already have three kids, all the same father. Me and the father split, and I was sleeping with a guy who I had feelings for and another guy who was my friend but him and I only did it once when we were drunk and it so happend to be the same week as the guy I was getting feelings for. Found out I was pregnant and I had no idea which one was the father. The guy who is just my friend has major feelings for me, and I don’t see him like that. I told him that can’t happen again before I found out I was pregnant. And the guy that I had feelings for ghosted me….

Once I found out I was pregnant, I felt so lost. I already have three kids… I did not want to have a kid with the guy who I just want as a friend and the other guy wanted nothing to do with me anymore. So I made the decision to abort. Found out I was 7 weeks and 2 days. I saw the baby in the ultrasound for a split second and they printed out a picture for me to keep. But I am in such regret. I am non stop crying because of the choice I made. But now I am dealing with all these terrible symptoms (the aftermath of the procedure and I am heartbroken that I let it happen. And I have no one to talk to about it 🙁 I wish my baby was still here

Baby B September 3, 2023 - 7:39 am

Almost 12 years later I’m reading this just came to this website I found on Google and this was the first story I seen… this exactly how I feel and I’m 27 so I can’t imagine what you felt at 16! I’m so sorry for you and that the people you live the most made you feel like you couldn’t have your child due to their personal issues. Sending you love all these years later! This story really just touched me I’m crying tears. I hate myself for what I did but this story and your words really are how I feel.

Fe November 23, 2023 - 10:35 am

I feel your pain, 33 years ago at the age of 16 my mother gave me no option but to abort. I never got the chance to have children after that. She never spoke about it &; it has tugged at my heart over the years.

Remember you have a voice and right now. Years ago we didn’t.

Linda January 3, 2024 - 7:02 am

I also went through the same thing. My parents pressured me into having the abortion. I was still in school. My dad told me if I had my child. I would be kicked out of the house and he would not accept it as a grandchild. I would be on my own, I didn’t have any support from my boyfriend because he was young too. My parents didn’t have the money for my abortion so I had to wait. The Clinic took me in on the very last day that they would allow me to have the abortion.
I was 20 weeks. I am 66 years old now I’ve never regretted anything more in my life. I have suffered every single day. I have thought about it every single day, and I wished I could go back in time and change it. I have begged God to forgive me, so many times I can’t count. I cry when I’m alone, and I pray that my child will forgive me. The only comfort I have is believing someday I will be in heaven with my baby. My dad‘s been gone now for 22 years and I’m still angry towards him. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I could just change my life.