Regret Sorry and Forgiven “This is a secret i haven’t shared with many…”

33 years ago i had abortion i was scared of disapointing my parents . I to this day cannot believe i let this happen. The guy i was with did not want a child nor marriage and i thinking there was no other way i let this man tell me what to do. It was in the 70s and it seemed to be the answer. No counseling no ultrasounds just a pregnancy test then abortion. I really dont know how many weeks along i was im assuming 12 weeks. The only words the doctor told me was to use birth control because this was one thing i did not want to repeat in my life was an abortion.  I guess that was good advice i was only twenty it has taken me many years to ask for gods forgiveness and to forgive myself.  This is a secret i havent shared with many. So every year in oct i mourn the birth of the child i didnt have.  I read somewhere that the abortion doctor that performed my abortion finally retired 30 years of abortions how many babies but, i dont blame him it was my choice.  Well thats my story. Thankfully i married and was able to have more children and now have grandchildren . But the sadness of my choice never has gone away ive just learned to live with it.