Guilty

I was with my boyfriend for 2 years, he has a 2 year old when I found out I was pregnant late December. He wasn’t financially stable and I still lived at home, I wish I hadn’t been so selfish and stood up for myself. I mainly did it for him as he had issues with family etc. He was supportive during the abortion 2 days after Christmas I had it. I had complications and had to go back to have a d&c 2 months later and unfortunately fell pregnant again April, I was so panicked and disappointed I told myself I could never do it again and here I was pregnant again. I had my second abortion a few days after Mother’s Day. I had a broken vein from shaking so much when they were trying to put the needle in my hand.I feel so guilty and cry anytime I see babies or anything to do with kids. I’m heartbroken and feel like I can’t be forgiven. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same and it haunts me still to know that I killed 2 babes at 7 weeks that never asked to be brought in this world. If I could take it back I would in a heartbeat. If anyone is thinking of having one please make the decision for yourself and NO ONE else you will be the one who has to live with it. Sending love and positivity for those who have experienced it <3