I had an abortion in 2019.the main reason I had one was because the father of the child had left me and I was alone and pregnant I just could not face it to go through another pregnancy alone and no work as I did with my first child I now have nightmares and feel guilty of the sin I did I no longer feel like going on with life I feel like just giving up I eventually told my family last year about the abortion but the regret I feel it building up everyday I feel like I was so selfish for taking that decision got worse my sister had a beautiful baby last year November 2020
I don’t enjoy company of any1 now I’m constantly crying the pain I just too much worse when you have no one to share what you feel with 🥺 recently been having suicidal thoughts
I no longer feel like going on with life
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It is so hard. I’m dealing with the depression as well. My sister is soon to be married and she keeps talking about how she’s excited to start a family with her fiance.
All I can do is think about watching her go through her future pregnancy while I had to end mine. I’m fearful of how I will react when she becomes pregnant and has a baby.
I can’t look at or be around pregnant women or babies or else I become extremely emotional and upset.
I don’t want to be that way for my future niece or nephew. But I feel like I don’t have control over my emotions anymore. I feel like a completely different person. This has 100% changed me for the worst.
I’m hoping things get better for anyone who is experiencing our kind of pain…
I became pregnant when I was 19, I was on birth control. My boyfriend at the time acted like I wasn’t pregnant. Then I came home from college classes and he was gone took his stuff just drove off. My mom so rudely said we will take care of it when she found out I was pregnant. I said no I don’t want an abortion but she didn’t listen to me. Made an appointment for me to talk to people at plan parenthood. They didn’t listen to me either pushed abortion said adoption be to hard. They an appointment was made and my mom took me to the appointment. I wanted to run out the clinic and say fuck it. I remember saying in the paperwork not sure I want to do this. They made me change my answer. I remember asking will the baby feel pain, they looked at me like I was nuts. How heartless they seem to be and my mom as well pushing this on me. Like I had no choice. It was bad timeing I was in college and had no job my jerk of a boyfriend left me, and my mom wasn’t being supportive. I still wanted my baby. I went into such depression afterwards. This was about 20 years ago, I haven’t moved on my grief hasn’t subsided. I have had two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy and yet to have a healthy living child. I feel awful because I was 13 weeks pregnant when I had an abortion, I don’t think it should of been done I was to far along. And longest pregnancy I had years later was 9 weeks before no heartbeat was found and baby no longer growing. So I feel like that first baby would of been healthy I should of had it. Bottom line never let other people push you into an abortion if any part of you really doesn’t want to. Because if you have that abortion we will regret it for the rest of your life. And you may end up with fertility problems and never have healthy babies in the future. I’m not sure if my abortion has anything to do with my pregnancy losses or my now problems not being able to get pregnant but in my head I think it may be part of it.