I’m here now reading all of these stories and my heart goes out to all of you. I’m so sorry any of you had to experience this pain. I am pregnant now and almost 3 months along, and my ex wants nothing to do with me. He blocked me and said he’ll see me in 7 months because he only wants to provide for the child if I decide to have it. He’s been badgering me and trying to manipulate me into having an abortion for weeks now. I went to planned parenthood today about to go through with it and I couldn’t stop crying. I rescheduled the appointment and got up and left. I couldn’t go through with it. I don’t think I can. I don’t want to kill my baby!! It hurts me so much that he doesn’t want to be involved in my pregnancy. But I don’t need him, I can figure this out on my own. It’s scary, but I can find resources to help me through this. M And after reading everything everyone said, I know in my heart that I can’t go through with this abortion. I want my baby. I’m still so conflicted, but I’m feeling a lot better about deciding to keep it. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories ❤️ I’m so sorry any of you went through this and didn’t have the support you needed. To anyone trying to decide to have an abortion or not, read through these stories. It might be hard at first, but everything will pay off in the long run if you decide to keep it. There’s so many resources and government assistance for single mothers. You can do it!
50 years ago I had an abortion. It was not because I was in an abusive relationship, or had been raped, or was being forced somehow to do this. I had this abortion performed simply out of cowardice because I was afraid of my parents, afraid of others’ reactions, didn’t want this to be happening to me, and i did not take responsibility. I have the seemingly entrenched belief, still today, that I am a murderer and unworthy. I have no respect for myself, deep down, though I have done many wonderful things in my life, and the trajectory of much of my life has been dictated by this event 50 years ago. I love all beings, especially children, and I have no children, choosing relationships that would not include having children. I have been unable to feel free enough to acknowledge and become my authentic self, and to integrate this overwhelming guilt, despite years of spiritual practice, giving to others, helping others, practicing self compassion. I am looking for the missing action I need to take to achieve some relief.
In 2003 I got pregnant at the age of 31 years old. I had a first born, newborn son (he was less than one year old)and was not very wealthy or financially stable due to prior issues with addiction. The father of the child wanted me to get an abortion due to his fear that my prior using and some using at the time of pregnancy might possibly have caused some defect to the child. My family immediately encouraged me to get the abortion and with all these pressures and demands, I got the abortion within the first six weeks of pregnancy against my true inner feelings about abortion. My reasons were purely to appease people on a superficial level under the guise that it was responsible when in reality it was based on their belief that I was not a worthy mother or person . There was no merit to their judgment and I sacrificed my beliefs to appease others. I received no proper counseling prior to this decision to abort that could have resolved this blatant disregard of my truest desires. Even though me and the father would not have stayed together, I really did want that baby to live. I value life. After the abortion I was so spiritually empty inside that I could hardly function or find happiness. I felt like a heartless murdered because deep down I knew the reasons to abort were really just plain superficial and did not have any genuine reason to take a life. For almost 2 decades now I live with such intense regret that it reaffirms to me that my decision was just simply not justified. I won’t go into details of all the mental and spiritual anguish I suffered from this decision but it has been so awful that I know having the baby despite society’s opinion of me would have been better for me and of course the baby and the baby would have been a bright addition to the world we live in. Right now there is such heated debate about constitutional rights and the right of a woman to get body but the founders of our nation and framers of our constitution all agreed that these fundamental protections do not apply if there is a harm caused to self or others. Superficial reasons for abortion ( which 90 % of abortions are for superficial reasons) not only harms/kills the child but also harms the mother that has to live with the decision for eternity. I cannot change my past but my living amends today to that dear child is to share my testimony and hope that it saves the life of another child.
I had an unwanted Abortion on March 27,1973 at Elmhurst General Hospital. It was my cousin Carol’s third birthday. I was ordered to undergo the Abortion by my Father. He wasn’t my Birth Father, but my Adoptive father. I was adopted when his wife couldn’t have children due to a emergency hysterectomy. The hystermectomy was a complete one~ They took everything. They turned to Louise Wise Adoption Agency in New York State,it’s now Spence-Chapin. And is still operating. When I became pregnant I thought my parents would say “you’ll have the child and then give it up” Boy oh boy was I ever wrong about that. My Father ordered me to abort the child ! I wasn’t even given a choice or asked what I wanted to do. After it happened, it was never talked about or even mentioned again. In February of 1973 my mother suffered a massive stroke. And she passed on September 29,1974. Inbetween my Abortion and her stroke my Parents & I took a wonderful trip to Israel. Something happened while in Israel~ The first visit to the Wailing Wall I didn’t shed a tear. The second time was a different story. I had an epathiny in the Chtuch of the Holy Selepchure I ran my fingertips across the stone where Jesus is said to have lain and I felt a spark go thru my fingertips and thru my whole body~Especially thru my closed heart. The second time at the Wall I cried tears for my son. I know that Jesus has forgiven me for what I did~ My problem is I can’t forgive myself. And I’ll NEVER forgive my father~ I just hope he’s in HELL where he belongs for his betrayal of me. My son’s father who I kept the secret of his abortion has known since I told him in 2011. On his Birthday of all days !~ I told him “How can I forget your birthday or the day I aborted our son ?” He was shocked I had kept ir a secret for 38 years !!!! He’s forgiven me and still loves me. My son’s name is Jason Alan Baylen, who be turning 45 this fall.