I chose a man over my baby

I was 20 years old had only been with this guy for 7 months and ended up pregnant. I was always someone who grew up in church so you Know abortion wasn’t even an option. I was excited I was happy I called my mom and my dad and surprisingly they were on my side. I went to call my boyfriend to let him know the news and he was everything but happy. He convinced me that I would ruin his life and mine if I went through with it. That he would leave me because he would be so stressed. He Told me to call my parents and tell them I miscarried. Stupid. If only I knew then what I know now. My life has never been the same. I went through my abortion alone and all together pretty much just ended up alone. It tortures me. But I know that I will never put any man before my kids ever again. I will always put my future babies first. But I will be honest, I’m not okay. This doesn’t get better. You just live life knowing what could have been. And It sucks.