Getting Free and Whole After Abortion

January 7, 2013 No Comments »

When I read some of the testimonials, I just had to write and give some of my testimonial of healing after 40 years and having had three abortions. The path to healing for me was the path I took 30 years ago when I decided to turn back to Christ and married a Christian man after a godless marriage in which I had three abortions and was abused as well. It didn’t help me to go to a psychiatrist because it was a spiritual problem, a problem of sin, which I had given great entrance into my life through fornication before marriage and after marriage and through abortion during my marriage.

All of the analyzing in the world couldn’t help me because my mind was deceived and couldn’t figure out myself. However, God has the perfect remedy for sin and it seems so simple that it’s hard to believe but since He made us and knows us, He knew how to fix us when we couldn’t help ourselves. I was in a pit that I couldn’t get out of, a hole of confusion and darkness that my “brilliant” mind couldn’t figure out, a college graduate, teacher in high school. Trying to figure myself out resulted in more confusion. I was angry and thought God was against me. The problem was that I was believing lies from the enemy of my soul, justifying, denying everything and blaming my x husband for what had happened rather than acknowledging my sin and going to God for forgiveness. God’s remedy is forgiveness through the sacrifice of His son Jesus, who took my sin and took my place. I wanted a different life and God brought a man into my life who loved me and my two children.

It was hard believing the truth, that God loved me and forgave me and that He would never hold my sins against me, removed them as far as the East is from the West. I also needed to forgive others who had hurt me and have done so over the years. The most important thing I did was commit myself to going to a Bible believing, Spirit-filled, Jesus centered church where I heard the truth preached, where I was around godly people who loved me and didn’t condemn me. I was afraid to even let them know my past for many years and even taught the Children and went on mission trips, but kept my secret of abortion. God healed me of an incurable physical disease and also has been healing me of the pain from abortion and abuse, but this has happened over these 30 years since I rededicated my life to Him. I still have to stay in the word and pray and stay in fellowship with believers who will hold me up in prayer and not condemn me. Praise God I have not had to take any medication for the emotional problems I had such as anger and depression, but through the word of God and His truth have been able to overcome and am still overcoming those things. It has been a long process for what seemed impossible, but with God is possible.

God sent me a patient, loving Husband who has treated me as a woman should be treated…valued and loved. It is in this relationship that I have learned to trust God and trust a man. That has been hard to let someone love me and to believe the best and not be on the defense all the time, attacking from anger, etc. For a woman who has been raped and abused, she needs deliverance from the lies that she has believed about herself and others and about God. She has to learn that God is someone she can love, trust and obey. His word is true it has been the scriptures that have healed me mostly and being filled with the Holy Spirit has given me power and the ability to witness and overcome the past. Also, finding someone in the body of Christ, in the church who knows about deliverance and can go through that with you.

I also went through several Bible studies for post abortion women and my husband and I named my babies and had a memorial service for them and I know I’ll see them again because of God’s promises and His Word. If you are hurting from abortion, find a pregnancy center where there are Christ-centered post abortion Bible studies for women, but most importantly, commit yourself for the long haul to Christ, never to turn back & to find a church where you can have the ongoing teaching of the word for renewing your mind and the prayer and support to live your life victoriously as God intended. Get into you the truth of God’s word and become that “New Creature” that God says you are when those old things are passed away. Agree with what God says about you, your past sin and now you as a forgiven new creature, loved and valued. Psalm 61 says he’ll give you Beauty for Ashes and the oil of gladness for the spirit of heaviness. Feeling love for others and for God is something that was a long time coming and hard to let myself feel. For many years it seemed as though my feelings were not there at all, but I continues in faith and believing God. He says that He will complete what He has begun in me and I’m thankful because I never could have done it.

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