It crushes you

I don’t even know how to say this but having an abortion is painful both physically ” then when you do it” and mentally after. Two years after having one I still wail with so much pain and anguish because of it. I was 30 when I got pregnant with my child, I just started working at my local church as a teacher after discovering that I was pregnant I was filled with so much fear…firstly because I worked at a Christian school and secondly because my parents are Pastors at a local church so coming from that background I thought I would bring shame upon my family…and so I sought for a nurse who gave me the pills to drink. In that moment all I thought about was the “shame” I would bring on my parents and I went ahead and killed my unborn child I think I was almost two months pregnant. It was so painful felt like stomach was being torn after two solid weeks the process was done and I was back on my feet and went ahead with life. The problem is that everytime I see someone pregnant or has a baby I think of how old my child would have been and how my life would have been with a child. I wail in pain that I made such a decision I feel such a sinner… I have done so many things but the abortion is too painful physically, emotionally and mentally. It crushes you.