My heart hurts, I feel like such a monster, and I regret going through with it. I feel so empty and broken….

I had my first son at age 22. I was a star athlete in college, Division 1, so I missed out on a lot of things, and I was only dating the guy I fell pregnant with for a few months. We were safe, he wore condoms (most of the time) and I was on birth control. My first son is a miracle baby. My at time boyfriend stuck by me even though I gave him a way out. We have been happily married for 5 years and together for ~7.5. I am now 30 and I found out I was pregnant again. We were taken by surprise and panicked and recently had an abortion. We were 50/50 between keeping the baby and aborting. But it came down to, if we weren’t initially happy about it, how could proceed with it. I am 3 days post abortion, and it was the biggest mistake I have ever made. The moment the abortion pill hit my hand I knew it was wrong. I have cried everyday and haven’t eaten in 3 days. My heart hurts, I feel like such a monster, and I regret going through with it. I feel so empty and broken. To my baby, I’m so sorry!!