My first abortion happened in my early 20’s while I was a college student. I really felt like it was the best thing to do at that time given that I was living in a different city without family. My boyfriend at that time and I both agreed. A decision I regretted. 14 years later I found myself in a similiar situation. This time I want to keep my baby but my current boyfriend is adamant about abortion. Instead of following my heart desire I followed his. The shame, the guilt, the sadness hurts. You walk into a doctor office and they just mention abortion as an option without telling you the side affects and long-term mental and emotional pain. Abortion has caused me to enter a state of depression. Ive felt worthless and not myself at times. Abortion is not a solution to pregnancy. Abortion does not fix any problem. Abortion is a loss of life that takes a heavy toll on a parents mental state and well-being.
You are not worthless. Your testimony can alter the course of another’s life. Use your faults and failures and let them protect someone else from the same faults and failures.
I’m so sorry you’re hurting and suffering from depression and guilt.
If it is any consolation (it will be if you know the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior!), your sweet babies are happy and healthy with their Creator.
Please find a King James Version Bible (you can even use a Bible app) and read through the book of Romans. Read about the love of God for YOU and how He alone can make you free from all sin. It is a free gift to you and He offered it knowing everything you would ever do.