Regret

I had an abortion nearly 41 years ago and regret it and pray for forgiveness. I found out I was pregnant at age 19 and had an abortion 3 weeks later after turning 20. I was stupid on no birth control. I wasn’t even thinking about that. My parents didn’t talk about those type issues. The baby was maybe 6 weeks, I remember they wouldn’t do it any earlier. The father was the first person I had been with and was 4-5 years older than me. I met him in March. Missed my May period and was pregnant. I was raised Catholic and knew it was wrong , I felt trapped. I was so fearful of what my parents, aunt & family would think. I had thoughts of adoption or marriage. I found out the father of the baby had a list of girls/women he was having sex with around the college campus. It was pages of names. Even a girl in my dorm came to me after I knew I was pregnant and told me he had asked her out and she turned him down. The father said he’d marry me but I knew that would end bad.
At the abortion clinic in 1980, they asked how you felt about abortion and I said I think it’s wrong. They then told me I could not have it and I told them I had to. From what I remember they made me sit and think about it before they proceeded. I remember being on the procedure table, tears running down my face, praying for forgiveness & a nurse said you don’t have to do this. I wish I hadn’t. I did confess it years later to a priest , but that doesn’t make the pain go away.
I regret it everyday.