In December of 2020 I had an abortion. I had two beautiful children already and a “supportive” husband. I got an abortion because I’m in nursing school and it would have delayed my graduation. I also got an abortion because my mom offered to pay for it, and told me there was no way I can handle a third child. I got it because my husband said we have so much debt and we are struggling already financially- we just don’t have the money for this right now. I also got the abortion because I have ADHD and did not want to stop taking my adderall when the obgyn told me I had to. I worked too hard at school to quit or fail now. What stupid reasons to take a life. The life of my child. That day is etched in my memory- the cold hard table, the sound of the suction machine, the joke the dr made about how “atleast now I can go get a margarita once it over” it was excruciatingly painful. I was only 8 weeks pregnant but it felt like a huge mass was being torn from my body. I bled for weeks. I got drunk every night to the point of blacking out. I completely rejected my children, I couldn’t even look at them without breaking down. I was angry and alone. It’s the middle of February 2021 and I’m just now able to get up in the morning and carry out a somewhat normal day. I truly believe that abortion should be illegal- if it had been I wouldn’t have made the biggest mistake of my life. Abortion NEVER goes away. Every second of every day I carry an exhausting amount of shame and guilt. I can’t sleep because the second I close my eyes I have flashbacks of the procedure and the feeling of a dr tearing my baby from me. God I wish I never did that.
God love you, repent, ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, your sins are forgiven, you don’t need to look back, Jesus will comfort you.
Repent seek Jesus ask him into your heart to be your Lord and Savior He forgives us of our sins you will never have to look back He will carry you and comfort you through your pain.