Crushed soul

My ex-girlfriend abruptly ended our relationship. A few months later she reached out to ask for forgiveness and told me she ended our relationship because she was pregnant and thought I wasn’t going to be with her. Truth is, she was seeing another man and wanted to try things out with new guy. New guy took her to have the abortion. When she called me to apologize, it was 530 AM and I said “oh I was dreaming we were playing with a beautiful baby girl” I forgive the infidelity but cannot and will not forgive her for killing my baby. Everyday I think what the baby would have looked like.