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I never thought this would happen to me

by Admin

My name is Christopher, and I met a young woman last year at a job we shared. She was the sweetest girl I had met in a long time. We started talking, she liked aliens and I love a good conspiracy. We started to go to AA meetings together, as we had recovery in common. I couldn’t be happier with life and how things were going. The young woman and I talked more and more and we were seeing each other a lot weekly. I would pick her up, we would spend time at my apartment, go to meetings, just hang out and have some freedom in a sense. She had been staying at a sober living house and I suggested she move in with me because it would be cheaper and we were already getting along very well. We spent Christmas together and made each other xmas stockings, both alien themed and we didn’t know it. I had left that job and took another job by then, she was still working there at the original place. So, one day she picked me up from work after a shift and she was quiet. In a moment she picked up something from her console in the car and showed me, it was two pregnancy tests, both positive.. I was a little shocked and surprised but I remained quiet for a minute before I talked with her. She seemed a big shocked herself. Over time, we talked and I reassured her how important this child means to me, it would be my first child. I am 37. I was thinking “I am so ready to be a father, finally, God had seen me without child and blessed me and this woman.” Her and I held off on telling our family for while. We had conversations about possible abortion. I told her I felt like this truly was a blessing and we must love this child and be this child’s parents. We scheduled regular on/gym visits and I was at every one. I got to see the awesome ultrasounds and saw my baby’s heart flicker and beats per minute. This baby is real and this is gonna happen!! Couldn’t be more excited. We had received notice the landlord had sold the place and we had to move. My mother was kind and let us move in. We began to stay with mom in her extra room. It was a little small but it worked for a Temporary solution. We eventually told our parents and my mom was very very happy and excited for us. She had told her mom and dad and they both were very supportive about it and happy. We were a good team, she loved to work and make money and so did I, I felt like I didn’t care for money like she did though. It wasn’t what was most important in my mind. Not as much as I felt like I needed to focus on family and foundation. I know money drives our reality and I work hard. So I got a job at this factory/plant and started making more money, gained full benefits, plenty of overtime. She quit her original job, the one we met at and went to work as a server at a restaurant making better money through tips. Everything seemed to be great. We hit the 20 week mark and headed to the ob/gyn again. This was a very special day because we got to see the baby and hear the baby again on the ultrasound. I was so happy when I saw the screen and baby has a fully formed baby shape, legs, arms, fingers and toes. We learned baby was a boy! Oh joy we are going to have a boy!! He had gave “thumbs up” as if he was showing us he was all ok and good inside mommy. So shared the news with family and friends and they were all excited. The child’s mom however, didn’t seem excited like all the rest of us. I listed to her tell me how she didn’t think she was ready to be a mother. For a period of time she didn’t even want to talk about the pregnancy and Anything to do with him or son. I tried to ask her opinion, tried to interest her in picking out clothes online from the gift cards the ob/gyn gifted us. She didn’t want nothing to do with anything. This is not a good signs and I tried to communicate with her about how she feels. How I could see it wasn’t a bad thing but agreed that this will be a challenge, one I am ready for. After sometime, we moved out of my.mothers and started staying with her mother. It was alright for a little while but issues arose and we left there and stayed at her dad’s. She was about 5-6 months pregnant now. I had been looking for a place for us to rent for a long while, several weeks or so. Finally we got a break and I found one near both our jobs, this could work. I made arrangements and looked at the place and liked it a lot, nice neighborhood to be a starter family home. 2 bed 2 bath with yard and patios. Great. So we just had to get the money together and we were alright. It’s July now, 6-7 months pregnant now and we had bought baby supplies and had been gifted things from family. I made arrangements to get a crib and some baby furniture, bassinet, car seat. All set to sign the lease and move in. So we both go to get our money orders and go meet the landlord. We get the tour, well, I get it a second time. She gets to see it the first time. And well we end up signing for this place.. great right? I would say yes because it’s not easy to get a place with a record. Well. She decided to sign but stay at her fathers because she has to help her sister out who has appointments she has to be taken to.. and naturally I’m all ok with it. So I move in, and tried to talk with her on the phone through text. She would talk to me and things seemed normal. At some points she would tell me how she felt like she didn’t want to be a mom. And how she wanted to adopt the child to someone else. I had been understanding with her but I was very straightforward and honest that I wanted to be my son’s father, and I wanted to take care of him even if she just decided she didn’t want to be a part of his life. She kept telling me she just “wants to make her dad proud” several occasions she said this. I said she is making her dad proud by being sober, working better jobs now. He even told her this in front of me that we were doing better… Well, she contacted the adoption agency. They had me served with notice, I responded by filing the putative father’s registry with the state. Filed a Petition for Paternity family case….. Now looking back I wish I didn’t… I can’t imagine what exactly happened but. She messaged me exactly a month after signing the lease, and told me she had had a late term abortion over state lines and that she hopes I’m ok and will cope well with it. I don’t know what happened but she filed a statement saying to the court where our family case is that she “did in fact have an abortion” but “it wasn’t 32 weeks like I said in my complaint” …. Bull, it was too his due date was 10/13 and I did the math. I don’t know if she did this or not. I know a time frame when she may have had this done in a small timeframe of 2 weeks.. between 07/24 – 08/07… This has numbed me, I can hardly function. I am doing all I can to focus on the case and to do everything I have to do to prepare. I left my job because I had no time to prepare for this case. I have no lawyer, no lawyer really even wants to represent this kind of case. I had got a couple of part time jobs. Worked them for a couple days a piece, I just can’t function anymore. I’m trying not to lose my place. I stay up looking up how I can fight this. If I try to imagine where my son is I can’t it just brings so many different feelings and powerful emotions I just stop thinking and block it out and refocus on the case. I just want to curl up and not so anything. Not eat, not move, not anything. The most horrible experience is to be told your son had been aborted 9 or 10 weeks before he was to come and change my world forever.

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Jessica September 18, 2021 - 9:23 pm

Oh my god, I am so sorry. This is my worst nightmare, imagining this happening to men (I’m a woman). I pray for strength for you and wisdom to take any action possible that you can. Your story needs to be heard by everyone.

Kathy November 13, 2021 - 3:21 am

Oh my goodness my heart aches for you. I am so sorry you have to go through this. God bless you and I hope you figure out what happened to your son.

ADeadmaninside July 28, 2022 - 7:21 pm

It’s almost been a year now since he was given back to God. I still hurt so much. I just wish I would have approved of the adoption, he would still be here and maybe I would of been able to hold him.