I chose him over the baby. He told me he would leave me, block me on everything and never speak to me or the baby again if i didn’t get a abortion. He was so angry and scared, he said he was to young to be a dad. But me? I felt the baby growing inside me everyday, i didn’t feel alone anymore. I was so excited to be a mom. It’s like i was made to be one and i would have loved my child more than anything. I couldn’t wait to see my baby, i kept imagining the future with excitement. My family was so excited for me. But he was scared and afraid and he wanted nothing to do with the baby he said. He couldn’t even touch me anymore. I would hear him crying. All i wanted was for him to be happy again. And so I let him pressure me into getting an abortion. I let his mother pressure me into getting “rid of it” I felt so alone, so scared and the person i loved most didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. But i already loved my baby more than anything, it was something that we made together a mixture of both of us. I can imagine how beautiful the baby would have been, how happy i would have been even if i was a single mom. And so there we were at a planned parenthood clinic and i still wasn’t sure but i did it. I did it for him because that’s how much i loved him. I can out of the clinic feeling empty and with regret. He left me 2 days later when i needed him the most. He left me in pain and broken inside. I chose him over the baby but now, now i just want my baby back. If i could go back in time i never would have done it. I would have been a mom right now with a beautiful baby that would have loved me more than anyone. I think about my baby everyday and it’s been months now. The pain will never go away now i just have to learn how to live with this regret.
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Over 29 years now, and i still regret having an abortion for him , soooo in love that i allowed him to manipulate me in many ways , actually believed him when he said , ( im not leaving you, im not leaving you, but if you have an abortion) I already had 2 kids prior/ not his children. mhm. Sad to say ,I had an abortion for him , so he wouldnt leave me, several months later after the abortion, ( he discreetly left me), only then his sister told me he was cheating on me all along . I still miss our baby, I still weep unexpectedly , periodically ,i still grieve unexpectantly periodically ,miss our child, wish I could get (this pregnancy/ baby back.)
I just wanted to add that yes adoption over abortion always. Living with the regret I live everyday for the last 23 years or so now it won’t bring my baby back nor would it make it right for what I did. Giving it a chance to life you could always and have the choice of being a part of your child’s life and even if you or the child doesn’t choose to it’s still the better choice to have the right of life. I have met ppl who were actually almost aborted and the mothers didn’t knew they were still pregnant and babies survived and these individuals are amazing ppl and are grateful to be alive. My husband now knew he couldn’t ask me to have another abortion when I got pregnant with his second child but told me he couldn’t do it… I told him to shove it and go to whatever…I would raise my child alone but he needed to stay out of my life and my child’s so I can have a normal and healthy life and pregnancy. He came around and asked me to move in with him after the baby was delivered he didn’t wnt to apart from our daughter. But again he did the same with our last daughter… it’s like there’s a weird pregnancy syndrome men go through idk but it’s crazy how men think they can do whatever and have fun but we women pay for everything afterwards?! Nope it’s not like that. Take charge of your body and your baby and choose what is right for you and your baby that is a part of you. It is a beautiful life growing inside you. It might be scary at first but the more time that goes by you would bond with your precious baby. It’s a bond that no human can break. That baby would love you and you would love it so much!! I think of my baby everyday, at nights I can’t sleep and with all my health issues now sometimes I feel that maybe I deserve what I get because I feel as I threw my baby away like it was trash. I hope and pray everyday that one day I would see him or her again, same as the baby I lost and my 2 sisters I lost too. Please dnt make the same mistake it’s not something you can take back. Wish you all well. Much love to you 💖🙏
Hello everyone, My heart goes to you and so is my prayers. Please please think before you do anything. Give it some time tlk to someone ask for help there are ppl who care and would help. God always sends us help where we least expect it from. I had an abortion about 23years ago and it has been eating me deep inside fur all these years even hearing ppl tell me that God has forgiven me. I feel dead and so sad deep inside snd long for my first baby. First time I was intimate with a man but got pregnant and he didn’t want the baby. Maybe he got afraid cause he was married before or he had kids from his prior marriage or he didn’t want to tied down or whatever the reason but I should of been strong and said no I m keeping our baby. I stayed with this man for 20 years and had 2 daughters after that and in our 20 years together we got finally married and now going on 23 years together and still raising our 2 daughters. To make story short I was scared of loosing him snd I had no place to bring the baby as my parents had kicked me out and I was struggling but that didn’t excuse me to what I did. I had changed 3 different clinics and no1 would do it cause I was crying and would say no but go back and forth until the last clinic who were some horrible cold heartless ppl that cared only about the money. I felt so dead inside after my baby was taking away from me and after a severe infection I got and almost died I fell into a severe depression and tried to kill my self which almost succeeded and fell into a coma. My family came around and told my BF at the time to stay away and stop playing those mind games with me but he didn’t he came around… we have had our ups and downs over the years snd have separated but have reconciled but one thing I can say even after he has apologized yo me and regrets of pushing me into getting that abortion it can’t ever but ever take that deep pain I have for my baby!!! I have had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with my second daughter but even with those 2 pregnancies he was furious and afraid not sure to what he was horrible but after the babies were born they have been everything to him and there’s isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them. I can only say I’m not sure if it was the right choice I stayed with him all these years and after what he pressured me to do only in my 20s and he is way older than me snd way more experienced but I can say please please don’t let no man or anyone push you to make a decision for you or your previous baby!!! It is a human life!! It u it s your body and your life and that child’s if you decide to keep which I hope you do. It’s better to give for adoption instead of having an abortion. I regret my decision and I can’t never go back and take it back. My younger sister with 3 kids made a choice to have an abortion which also regretted it snd the father of her kids left her for a girl he was cheating on her… she killed her self 10 years ago. Some men might feel bad or say sorry later but they are not carrying that precious life inside em. One thing I wanted to say is that for years I couldn’t conceive after the abortion and the dr who had taken care of me after the severe bleeding gave me shots snd treatments to help me. For years I asked God if He had forgiven me and I asked Him to please let me know someway… I asked maybe if He would give ne the chance again to have a child I would know He has forgiven me snd I would cherish and love my baby… I got pregnant twice my daughter was 3 when I had a miscarriage until 6/7 months I got pregnant again which drs thought I would miscarry again and try to give me pills since I was bleeding so heavily to abort I told em no I’m going to leave things in Gods hands. My oldest is now 20 years old and my youngest is 16. Both girls are my miracle babies. Both high risk pregnancies and drs are still puzzled how I conceived and how I carried full term. You see when we have an abortion we stop the natural thing thst is happening it’s not normal we screw up our bodies and we might be given the chance to have kids again and we might not. I know someone who has had sn abortion very young snd she can’t have anymore children. It’s heartbreaking as she is older now snd married and has tried everything but can’t and it’s not possible. Now I tlk to my daughters about things as I am afraid because I don’t want them to have to go through what I went through. I want my baby back and that pain, emptiness, void and sadness I have for my baby, my both sisters can’t never be filled. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Sending my love.
It’s 1975, I am married and pregnant with 4th child at 23. Go to Dr. To get options. Make appt. ,pay 250,in and out. Done. No professional or fam. Tried to show me any support in any way. I am soooo sorry now as I was then. Could never carry another pregnancy to term, lost 2. Mentally exausting.
I was only 11 when I was taken advantage of by a relative. I hid my pregnancy, and came to term having the baby early. This was a hidden secret in my family. My aunt had found out and secretly brought me in for help because she was scared of what my family would do. I was told I was a killer upon coming to the abortion clinic by protestors. I cried and had told my aunt no I cannot kill him. My son only lived for a few weeks he had extreme genetic abnormalities. Well, that’s what the doctors said. He couldn’t, see, suckle properly or breathe well. I am so happy I had time with my son. The second pregnancy happened shortly after the first my Aunt had brought me to the abortion clinic had my family taken into custody. I really wanted what God wanted too my new baby. She had my baby killed that day.
I am a 29 year old mother of 4. I was in a 5 year long marriage and had 3 children with my then husband and since leaving him I have been with my boyfriend of 3 years and we have a 2 year old son. When my husband left state in September of 2019, he legally (yes legally) kidnapped my oldest daughter. I haven’t seen her in 3 years now. I have been financially unstable for my entire adult life just about and it has been hard to get by at times. In 2021 around June, I got very sick and almost died from pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in my lungs). I was still reeling from that experience and decided to take my health more seriously. I went to my obgyn in September of 2021 to schedule a tubal ligation and an ablation because of endometriosis and to make sure I wouldn’t risk pregnancy again. They did blood work and discovered I was pregnant. My doctor told me that there would be a lot of risks if I kept the baby and it was more likely that I wouldn’t be able to carry the baby to term. She said there were risks to mine and the baby’s lives, but that she would support me through the pregnancy if I chose to keep it. I would have likely been bed ridden for a lot of the pregnancy and I was sacred. My youngest son wasn’t even a year old yet and I couldn’t even see my oldest daughter. Money was tight and my boyfriend and I couldn’t handle the risks of keeping the baby. I had to think of my children and how much they needed me. Together, my boyfriend and I decided to go through with the abortion. I thought I could handle it knowing the situation. I was dead wrong. I remember looking at the monitor during the ultrasound at planned parenthood. They asked me so many questions. They wanted to make sure I was ready to make my decision. I was never ready, but I told them I was. I took the pill and had my friend drive me home. She didn’t even know why I was there in the first place. I didn’t want anyone to know my shameful secret.. My boyfriend had to work that night, so I spent that night alone. In pain. Crying my eyes out and begging the baby for forgiveness for being such a cruel mommy. I remember every detail so vividly. The pain, the sight of everything, the smell of it. Everything. I held my baby boy to try to remind myself that I made the decision I did for my children. For them to have a healthy mommy and for them to not have to struggle even more. I wanted my boyfriend to be there for me. I wanted to take back my decision. I was miserable. I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it and he told me he thought it was a mistake. He was the first one to suggest we go through with it.. And he turned around and told me I made a mistake. He refused to talk to me about it. He wanted to act like it all never happened. I did too, but I couldn’t handle the reality. The hormone shifts, the process of what I went through, feeling so alone through it.. I started to get really depressed and spiraled into alcoholism. I resented my boyfriend for letting me go through it alone and for not letting me talk to him. I refused counseling. I had dreams every other night about not making that decision. Of being happily pregnant and ultrasounds and excitement. Of the new baby and all the love and joy that came with it. Every other night I had nightmares, reliving the night I spent alone. I spent a year getting worse and worse and wanting to disassociate as much as possible. I had friends who were there for me because I broke down and told them. I started to invest a lot of time taking care of and propagating plants. I did my best every day to still be the best mom I could be despite everything. All the while, I still felt like a monster. I believed my boyfriend hated me as much as I hated myself and I started lashing out at him for never being there. The resentment grew so strong. It came to a head when in September of this year, I blew up and physically lashed out at my boyfriend when I was drunk one night. I got arrested and I felt like it was a wake up call to get better and find help. I still haven’t been able to accept everything that happened and I still feel resentment towards my boyfriend, but I love him to death and want to get counseling together to get past it. I thought I was finally healing, but for the past 2 days I have been a wreck. My brother’s girlfriend is pregnant and I want to be happy for them, but I’m struggling to do so. The ultrasound picture just brought me right back to the last ultrasound I ever had. I have been crying nonstop, wishing I never hurt my baby. Wishing I never made that choice.. I never did get my tubal ligation or ablation. I haven’t been back to my obgyn at all. I couldn’t bring myself to do so. I plan on setting up an appointment as soon as their office opens tomorrow. I know I need to do it. I feel stronger than I did and I feel this need to prove I am stronger than I was this past year. I hope that I can find an end to the pain I feel over my decision, but right now, I don’t know that I can. I feel like I should have my sweet little baby in my arms. How can I get past this pain?