Not My Choice

I found out I was pregnant in November 2020. I had all sorts of mixed emotions, I was 20 at the time. I called my boyfriend and we were trying to figure out what to do and most importantly how to tell our parents. So it happened that I confided in a friend of mine who then went behind my back and told my mom before me. My mom then got angry and called my aunt . At this point my boyfriend was happy that I was pregnant and we wanted to keep our baby. My aunt however being the overlooker for my siblings and I at the time because my mom was out of the country, decided to take me to do an abortion, she paid for it and everything. My biggest regret is not standing up to my aunt because I was scared , they threatened to put me out and even stop paying for my university . I was HURT! I was ANGRY! Because I wanted to keep my child but everyone else thought it would have brought shame on my family. So here I am now living a life full of Regrets, I have suicidal thoughts and I’m stuck with the thought that what if I opened my mouth and stood up for myself but instead I did nothing, I let them take my beautiful baby away from me. I ask Gid for forgiveness everyday . After the abortion they all just went back to normal like nothing happened and I was left with the extreme pain and the hole in my heart.