I was 17 when i found out i was pregnant. my boyfriend at the time didn’t want to have the baby he kept saying it was “going to ruin his life.” he made me feel as if the pregnancy was my fault. i didn’t know what to do and he gave me no time to think. he had offered me money to get an abortion but i can’t just get one. you don’t know how attached you really are to them until you are in that situation. he pushed the abortion on me and even set the appointment and told me to be ready. i ended up falling for it and getting the abortion, but i still think about how i was treated and manipulated. don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your body. i was scared that i couldn’t take care of the baby but if my parents could do so could i.
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It’s hard to know where to start. I ask God for the words I write. If one person sees them and decides to keep their baby, I hope and pray it will go towards forgiveness for my own. I was born in California 1961. Following the sex, drugs and good people that did bad things crowd. Believing in God, but not yet receiving the Holy Spirit. As a teen, I learned of PP. We all thought it was really cool to be able to go get condoms and Birth control pills(wasn’t thinking of abortion at that time) without our parents consent. As a parent now, that’s is an outrageous thing. It was also unclear to many what stage was the baby considered a human. I was in a relationship with a married(having problems and dissolving)person, and got pregnant. My thinking at the time was…I don’t want it to be a trap and felt I wasn’t ready. With the thought of Going in and doing it early before it was a person. It wasn’t until many years later, after having a child, I was taking a shower, it hit me so hard(The Holy Spirit)!! I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t stop sobbing. I felt my soul was doomed to Hell! At the time, many family members read scripture and would tell me, God will forgive me. But, when it comes to the time to meet God, It will be between him and me. I pray and ask for forgiveness everyday. My heart is heavy and I grieve over the loss all the time. I made my choice. I can’t take it back. I think I would have chosen differently if there hadn’t have been a Planned Parenthood!!! I will accept any prayers for my soul. And pray this reaches many people and saves even one baby. I pray In Jesus name for all who do not know. Amen You can’t take it back!!
Heart break, Womb ache, No candles on the cake…
I was raped, then made the choice,To remove “The tissue” like “they said” in a sweet voice.
Finger pricked, got in a gown,”The Tissue” found with Ultrasound…. I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t see… The monitor was turned around… Still on the table they strapped me down… Once injected, the nice Nurse left… I cried God help me… Alone upset, no one heard my plea.
Too late, I took the bait, No nice Nurse, no empathy… Dead stares looking back at me, vaccutainers covered in booties…
I knew then I lost a part of me… Went home, curled up alone with no where to grieve.
28 years in shame I cried. I kept the secret stuffed inside… Now knowing that I took a life… With constant thoughts of suicide.
What could I do… No one knew… What I was going through… Now pressing through recovery, By Gods’ Grace and Mercy…
I give this testimony to you.
The first 6 weeks of 9 months due. An embryo is not “tissue” That “they” removed… It was my baby and God’s baby too!
God knows us before we’re formed… And calls us by name before we’re born.
And for those that can hear let them hear… Mariah lives and heaven’s where… He wiped away her every tear.
And with true repentance on 3/3/19… I took communion and felt God’s Peace… No longer bound, I’ve been set free…
By Jesus Christ the King of Kings
And By The Way…
Mariah’s name….
In Hebrew means…
The Lord who teaches me.
By Patricia M DiSaverio 3/12/19
I was married at seventeen in 1972 I found out I was pregnant right after our wedding. He wasn’t ready for a baby and told me if I didn’t have an abortion he would leave me..so I had one and cried through the whole thing..I knew our marriage was over after that..he apologized years later..we only stayed together,three years..my 29 year old daughter gives me grief for being anti abortion now..she doesn’t understand being 17 with no real choices and alot of fear ..and years of trauma and sadness and guilt that comes with it..
I got pregnant 43 years ago. My boyfriend didn’t want to be a father. I was left to myself to decide what to do. I had morning sickness. I was scared. I thought about going to a home for unwed mothers. My boyfriend made it clear that he didn’t want a baby. I called Women’s Health Services and scheduled an appointment. I was told what to wear, and how much it would cost. I was told payment had to be a cashiers check. My boyfriend went to the clinic with me. Many young women like me were sitting in the waiting room. Nobody spoke a word. The medical staff were so cold and unfeeling. Counseling consisted of getting on contraceptive pills. Then it came time for my abortion. I was scared to death. I had a suction abortion. The pain was excruciating. Went to the recovery room. The other women and I just sat there. I became suicidally depressed, and I cried and cried because I killed my baby. I wanted to die. I decided not to tell anybody what I did. I developed a eating disorder. I hated myself. I would sit on my bed and rock because the emotional pain was unbearable. As time went on, I got married and had children. It took seventeen years before I found forgiveness for killing my baby with my Lord and my God. I have never recommend abortion to anyone. If there’s any young girl or woman that is contemplating abortion, do not make the same terrible mistake I did.
My son was a happy young man. Fished a lot, had many friends. Fell in love at 17. However the relationship abruptly came to an end.
At the age of 21, married some one else.
He began to drink until drunk crying in the shower his wife admitted.
Long story short, his first girlfriend and he decided to abort the pregnancy when a Dr told them it was just a seed and it could be vacuumed out.
At the abortion clinic the girlfriend wanted him in the room after the abortion Dr told her to shut up, it was to late to stop the procedure!
My son witnessed a piece by piece baby coming thru the vacuum. It made him and her sick. They couldn’t forgive themselves for years.
Gods mercy and forgiveness saved both of their lives, but that was over a period of 6 or more years.
Instead of a seed, she was about 12 weeks pregnant. At 12 weeks the baby is completely formed, has a heart beat and I think can feel pain. Thank God for His Mercy snd plan for restitution.
These two are Whole again.
I find it interesting how immense the pain of abortion is and how long it lingers, but no one will talk about it…
My family knew, my mom and dad. It was the same routine… I did something bad, they sat me down to tell me how disappointed they were, I was grounded… i had the abortion, they knew, other family members knew and no one said a word. Ever. It’s lonely. The boyfriend ask if I was OK, but he didn’t really want to know the truth. No one ever really wanted to know how I really felt. If I ever tried to talk about anything, I was wrong for feeling the way I did. I learned how to act like everyone wanted me to act because the weight of who I am was more than anyone wanted to know. It’s sad, depressing, it’s like being dead when you’re alive, but no one wants to hear that. They want to hear, “I’m fine thanks. How are you?”
If there’s a moment of courage and vulnerability that leads you to say I’m not fine at all, someone can just remind you that you got yourself into this mess. No one held a gun to your head. And you just know that however you are feeling you deserve that and you’re just going to have to keep that to yourself. That’s part of the punishment.
It makes me so sad/mad that people can’t see the truth of it. Women are protesting for the right to feel this way because they just don’t know or maybe they are dead inside too.