All Testimonials

26 years ago, I thought I was probably pregnant. I was so excited. I was in college, in love, and home for the summer. I then made what was a fatal mistake – I told my mom. She tested me and I was shocked that she couldn’t be happy for me. She made my boyfriend come immediately. They both insisted on an abortion. They said it would ruin both of their lives, that I was selfish to try to keep it. Mom was too ashamed to tell our religious family what happened. Boyfriend was too young he said he couldn’t live with it. I begged them to just let me go on my own and keep it, instead they made the appointment. Three days later I had gone through with it, trying to convince myself it was for the best. But I hated them both. I nearly died from crying so much – unable to cope with the horrors and realization of death. I’ve been saved, I’ve begged God and Jesus for forgiveness. I’ve tried to forgive my family. I’ve raised children that I over indulged and feared losing every day. I was told it was just cells but I know better now. I hate myself forever for this. Jesus may have forgiven me but I’ll be damned before I ever forgive myself. I would give anything to go back and stand up for me – for my baby. I can’t explain to anyone why I let others choose this – I didn’t want it for a single moment. And not one day in 26 years has gone by that I didn’t hate them for making the appointment. How do we ever get through the stages of grief when “acceptance” just isn’t an option?

I see with full clarity and acknowledge the pain I didn’t know and did not do on purpose I feel I was at different place different time and trauma ad I know the reason why so I ask God forgive me getting close to him and regretting it as well I look at how beautiful and precious my daughter is and that draws me back sometimes to regret it did make me cry I recall sitting on the sofa really hurt.

While many of the stories out there may be young women struggling, there are also those who are already mothers who have made this choice. Here is my story. I am a mom to two beautiful children. My husband and I longed for a third. It never happened. The chapter we thought was closed. I ended up taking a pregnancy test on a gut feeling and it was positive. My husband at the time was in the hospital with his own health issues and my world was crashing around me. Feeling overwhelmed, my gut reaction was I cannot do this. I unfortunately made the decision to terminate. No one talked me out of it. When I entered the center they immediately gave me a Valium to “calm my nerves.” Looking back I was essentially drugged. I was not counseled. When I was in the room for the procedure they had the monitor turned away and wouldn’t let me see. It was over before I had a chance to process what was happening. I wake up every morning thinking of the baby I lost. I am reminded as I look into my living children’s eyes every day. How could I make this choice? My husband and I have been trying since unsuccessfully to conceive and it’s all that I can think; that I blew my opportunity to have my family complete. May I find forgiveness in myself. May I find peace. May I be blessed again, because I have been so awakened by this experience I was to scream from the rooftops. Please, do not make the choice I did. Signed, A mother

I’m 32 and have and 11 year old Daughter. I got pregnant with an ex boyfriend who was just released from prison for a previous domestic violence charge against me. Ya, I know, what the hell was I thinking right? Well the first time we had sex when he was released, I got pregnant. I told myself before this all happened that if I ever got pregnant again I would definitely get an abortion because I only wanted one child and I didn’t want to start over. Well here we are now, pregnant and with a not so nice man. I knew when I found out that if I kept the baby, the dad most likely wouldn’t be involved. I had just lost my car, I was behind on rent, really struggling with my daughter and I knew affording another baby alone was impossible…but I did have days of hope. Days where I thought I could finish school or a trade in 9 months and become sufficient enough to care for a new baby. Then the days of impending doom came. The father would tell me it wasn’t his, or we would be in these toxic battles, always fighting, begging me to keep it then telling me to have an abortion. My mom also wanted me to have an abortion. I even made an 8 week appointment after I canceled my first abortion appointment. Then I made another abortion appointment and went…it was so fast…I wish I gave myself more time… I remember laying on the table during the procedure. I was sobbing and begging God to forgive me. It was the most painful and traumatic experience of my life. It took me two days for my mistake to set in. Today is day 2 after my abortion, present time…I found my tests in my drawer and my heart sunk. I couldn’t breathe, I feel an overwhelming feeling of regret that is unexplainable. I feel selfish and impulsive. I want to go back in time and save my baby. I let too many outside influences affect the way I felt and ultimately my decision to terminate my pregnancy. I don’t know if this feeling will ever go away. Just stop and really think about it. I have no support and I know now that I could’ve rose to the challenge and made it happen. I was just too weak and too scared.

It was the year 2017 I had just met my deceased now boyfriend. After 3 or 4 months of dating we moved in together with a friend to save up and get our own place.Not long after we moved out I found out I was pregnant I preety much freaked out and panicked I thought “im not ready to be a mom ” theirs so much i need to do with my life first, he was excited and I kind of talked him into it I know I broke his mother’s heart because she begged for us to give it to her. Long story short I went through with it even though the day of God showed me all the signs of not too .We stayed together even though I felt he resented me for it but before he passed I know all he ever wanted was a family and I took that away from him ,because I wasn’t able to get pregnant again.I broke so many hearts when I did what I did .My mother to this day is so disappointed in me and broken hearted especially since he’s not here anymore that baby would’ve been everyone’s comfort of him.I feel guilty everyday and horrible for doing what I did and just pure selfishness since our baby would’ve been so loved by so many , who was I to deny someone a chance to experience life? I can’t help but think if I had that baby would he be here today. If you feel abortion is the way for you then do what’s best but don’t do it out of impulse and fear because remember once that fetus is gone then that’s it theirs no way of bringing it back.

I considered having an abortion when I was a teen and pregnant. I didn’t go through with it, but now 17 years later I still feel guilty and ashamed about ever considering it and going in for a consult at planned parenthood. I was lucky to have parents that supported me and helped me raise my child so I could continue growing up and living a “normal” teen life. I couldn’t imagine the pain I would feel today if I had done it or how my life would’ve turned out if I didn’t have my child. I’ll never know. But I do know there are options out there and abortion doesn’t have to be the first or only choice. Being a mother will make you stronger than you think. I was practically a child and learned to become a mother. Anyone can do it. Don’t let fear or people talk you into an abortion if it’s not something you truly want.

I am 26 years old and have a little boy who is about to be 5. I was single for a long time when a guy I saw time to time on social media came into my life. I can honestly say I never saw this nightmare coming. In the beginning the red flags were orange and I didn’t care what my gut told me I was going to ignore them. I fell fast with all of his words and the attention he was giving me that I was ignoring who he truly was. We started off with meeting his parents posting eachother on social media and non stop texting calling and facetimes I thought this was really the one. I soon found out that I was pregnant I was terrified to tell him but so excited I felt like it was meant to happen. He worked on the road and was barely ever home so it was only right I tell him so I FaceTimed him and decided to tell him the news and when I say my heart broke completely from his reaction I truly felt like my heart broke. His only answer was abortion. I felt so alone after that phone call which then led to him not even speaking to me for almost 2 weeks. When he finally did he tried to cover it all up with he needed space and he was sorry and tried to make up for him with saying he loved me and explained time and time again that his new job being home everyday would be hard to have a child because we do live 2 hours apart. Now I’m my head we have already talked about me picking up my life and moving so it made no sense but no matter what I said or tried to talk about him contradicting himself I was wrong. I tried to take time to think about what I really wanted and deep down I wanted to keep this baby but I felt like I was so brain washed with him saying my anxiety is to bad to have a baby he would lose everything he wanted in life if we had this baby right now and me being blindly in love I wanted him to have everything he wanted and never even cared about my own feelings. After crying to him time and time again about how horrible I felt about going through with it he didn’t care he always made me feel like my life at the moment wasn’t fit for a baby and his life would be over if we had the baby. I called and made the appointment went through so many test and so much paperwork and all of a sudden he was supportive promising to be there for me through it all promising to help with my son and how amazing our life was going to be after this was all over. The day I had to get the procedure he was out of state and had no choice but to do it alone and still he promised to be there after well after guess what I was by myself he didn’t call he sent a message here and there and instead of helping me he decided to do what he wanted. Two days later after the abortion I was laying on the couch in pain crying and feeling so empty bleeding uncontrollably I knew something wasn’t right I called 911 and was taken back to the hospital just to find out I was hemorrhaging and they hadn’t removed everything and had to them go under another DandC all alone he could of been there but chose to go to a race he didn’t care I basically saved his life by doing what I will never forgive myself for. Laying there on that operating table knowing I had to go through it again I knew I would never be the same. And it’s true I’m not and never will be I hate myself for doing the abortion I did it for him on false promises and feeling guilt when I wish I would have just snapped out of it and put my feelings into this. He hasn’t spoke to me since and I’m left grieving a decision I have made in the best interest of someone else. Today his mother had asked me what was going on and I can’t even tell her that the one thing she wanted the most I took from her and myself. My heart is absolutely broken I want to tell her so bad but he made me promise not to tell her and yes u may think screw him tell her I can not break her heart and have her feel the way I do. She thinks her son just moved on and has not even the smallest clue of what really happened. Please if you take anything from this please take ur feelings into account and if he doesn’t want to be there and threatens to not be there like he did to me your strong enough to do it on your own.