All Testimonials

I got myself into an unhealthy relationship, full of partying, sin and pain. Being a mom has always been my greatest passion- I knew whenever the time would come, I was going to be the best mom I could be. I found out I was pregnant at 18, with a man I had only been with for a couple of months. He was 5 years older than me and a whole lot more powerful than me. When I found out… fear, nerves and panic fled through me but alongside that was excitement, love and happiness too. The moment I found out, I had an immediate motherly love for my baby. He was not happy when I told him. Rather than discussing and supporting me- he threatened me. Threatened violence, threatened hell upon my baby and I for life. He told me that our baby would never go without- financially, but he would be sure to make our lives a living hell if I chose to “betray” him and go through with my pregnancy. His mom was so excited to be a grandma, but very quickly, he bullied her into the game of manipulation against me to terminate. It was 2 against 1. He gave me no choice. Went as far as booking me the appointment at multiple different clinics in case one wouldn’t allow me to go through with the procedure because of the story I tell. he wrote me a script to share entailing that it wasn’t him forcing me to get this abortion and it was my choice too. As I should be 30 weeks pregnant right now, instead I’m 19 weeks heartbroken and grieving the loss of my baby. The day my baby died, my soul died too. I long for the day I get to hold my sweet baby in my arms. Longing for death is no quality of life.

I had an #abortion few weeks ago…. I knew it wasn’t a right choice but I have no other choice, I have a bf, we weren’t in a good term so I cheated with a married man and I found out i am pregnant last month on the 21st the result showed “faintly positive” my world crumble right in front of me… What will I tell my family? My bf? What will the society say about me? I’m still in university then I opt for abortion pill, I took it in the night and with much tension and anxiety I purged throughout the night, then no bleeding till day break when I saw blood spotting (not bleeding) after a week I went for another blood test and it was positive again (not faintly again) I swallowed hard then book an appointment for D&C on the 11th of this month, I laid on the table thinking is this the right thing? Do you know why the pill failed? The process was painful i would never want to go through again, I screamed hard and after it I had the worst cramp ever and no jst a light bleeding for that day no more bleeding, I felt relieved and the same time felt remorseful and still beating myself till date… Yesterday I did urine PT at home and it showed positive I’m scared cause I don’t understand what’s happening again, since yesterday I’m seeing blood spotting again….. I’m so devastated and thinking of suicide, what if the baby just want to stay? Why am I still positive?

When I was in AIT in the Army I was not married yet but I had someone at home that was trying to get away from his drug addict ex but I felt like he was playing games. Prior to going into AIT he came to my bootcamp graduation ceremony only to have sex with me and then tell me that same day that he was not staying with me because he felt like he was moving too fast. He hurt me tremendously because I believed we were going to get married. He had control over me. Then, while on the bus to AIT he calls and tells me that he loves me and in tears tells me that he was sorry he broke up with me and that he still wants to be with me. I was so confused. When I got to AIT I became friends with many people. Many of us became very close. During this time I rarely had any contact with the outside world as we were not allowed to. I had a couple of phone calls with my boyfriend but that was it. In the very short time period in which I was able to speak to him, he told me he was going to ask me to marry him. In the meantime I found someone else that made me feel special. He made me feel like I was important to him. I ended up having sex with him. During this time period I was trying to figure things out. At the same time the person at home was getting a reversal so he could have my child. When I got home he asked me to marry him. I accepted it because I did not want to hurt him by saying no. We got married, had sex, and then discovered I was pregnant that week. When I got back to AIT I let the other person know that I was married and we became just friends after lots of tears. I ended up putting the numbers together for the length of time I was pregnant and discovered it was my friends baby. I called and told my husband that I was pregnant. He told me that he would pay for an abortion and that it was still my choice of what to do. I ignored all signs of Jesus at this time because I was in a bad place. I went in and got an abortion. While it was happening it felt like two souls were being ripped away from me and I began begging the person to stop aborting. He said it was too late and finished ripping my children out of me. They were twins. To this day, I am still angry about my poor choices. I am still angry with my husband for everything he did. I am still so guilty because my daughter replaced my other two children and she is a blessing. There is so much confusion in me. I feel like God hates me and I have a very difficult time moving forward. I dont know how to move on and every time I bring any of this very self-destruction time in my life, I am in tears. I cant stop crying right now as I am writing this. My hope is that my babies are in heaven and that someday I will see them. I never named them. It makes me feel guilty to think about doing that because I dont even know whether or not they were boys or girls. They were 9 weeks old when it happened. I have to live with the guilt that I killed my babies. At the time, I had ZERO clue about what abortions looked like and nor were babies accepted as babies. They were “cells”. I can tell you that they are not just cells. This is torment to me. I found out later after becoming pregnant with my baby girl what abortions looked like and what happens during an abortion. That is when it truly killed me.

I got pregnant at 17 and decided to keep it. I had my baby 9 days before my 18th birthday. I lost it to a heart defect 1 day later. My boyfriend married me before our son was born and died. (He was 18) We both still mourn our loss. We went on to have 2 more boys that are still kicking. That’s been 42 years now and even though we lost our first. I have no regrets but still mourn loosing him. We now are raising 3 grandchildren and still would not give any of them up or abort.

I found out I was pregnant at 11 weeks. I took a digital test and the results were “Pregnant 3+ weeks” , my heart dropped. I am 23 years old, just for context I am a married immigrant and I’ve got no one in this country but my husband. As soon as I told him I broke into tears, even tho I had always said that if I were pregnant before 26-27 I would had an abortion the thought of actually murdering my baby was too much, I started to cry. All my husband could do was tell me it was going to be okay but then he said “Why are you overreacting so much? Like, why are you crying? I don’t understand. You act if it’s like the worst thing it could have ever happened.” Like what the hell? Of course it’s a horrible thing. He’s jobless, he smokes a lot of weed and he can never keep a job. I knew in my heart he wouldn’t come through if I decided to keep this baby, I know he would just leave me and resent me forever if I kept it. However, when I asked him he said he would support whatever I wanted to do but that he thought we were and ready, and I agreed. I know 23 is not so young, but I feel very immature and I absolutely did not feel ready for a kid. I made an appointment at a local clinic and went for an ultra sound, I saw my little peanut. I kept the picture. I still decided to make an appointment for the abortion, and all this time I feel in my heart like it was the right choice until the night before… I just kept thinking “Does it have a soul?” “Is it a she? A He? “ “Does he have his eyes?” The day came and I went there. I did what I did and he just doesn’t give a damn, he can never feel the way I feel, and it made me realize he just doesn’t love me the way he say he does. I regret it. I should have left and kept you, I’m sorry. I know I could have done it alone, I’m sorry for not being brave. I’m really sorry for not realizing I wanted to meet you before it was too late.

I’ve never been a regular period type of girl, so my period being late 2-3 weeks is my normal. I found out I was pregnant at 11 weeks, I know what you must think… how the hell did you not know? Well, I didn’t miss one period, sure they were late but not one missed. One day, I realized my periods were 1-2 days shorter and I had what felt like menstrual cramps 24/7 so I decided to take a test… I took a digital test and the results said “Pregnant 3+ weeks”. My heart dropped, I’m married but I am in my early 20s. I instantly knew I wasn’t ready, it’s not what I wanted, it would change my entire life and a million of thoughts crossed my mind. I left the bathroom and broke the news to my husband and as soon as I did I started crying my eyes out. It’s almost been a week and I am still bleeding. I resent him, I resent him so much. Although we took this decision together, I am grieving and I feel guilty and he doesn’t seem to give a Damn. I can’t help to think I made a mistake but it’s too late, I am sad, I feel so much guilt and anger and he doesn’t seem to care. Is that it? My baby is just gone? The thing is I love my husband, I truly do but I feel like he did not care at all, I am dealing with the loss alone . I should of just ran, I should have left and kept the baby, I could have done it alone, I feel so lost and nobody around me knows. I am scared I’ll be judged. I really resent him for not caring, how can he not care? I wish I could do things differently.

Im 24 years old and have had 2 secret abortions. My first one was back in 2016 and my second one is very recent, a month ago. I still ask myself why I did it, I was just selfish and didn’t give myself time to think it through as no one forced me to do it.My heart is heavy. I find myself crying every night , worse I’ve had dreams holding a sweet little girl and a cute baby boy and they look pretty much alike and I know it’s them . wishing I could turn back the time and make the right choice. I wish to hold my kids and tell them how sorry I am. I want them back so badly that I even I want to try get pregnant again like now. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself unless I get pregnant again .