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BY HIS STRIPES I AM HEALED June 2, 2021 – 10:09 am I was 15. Trapped in an abusive relationship with a grown man. I wanted to get away from him and keep my baby. I had no support and no where to go. My sister told me it would be for the best. I told her I didn’t want to do it. I should have fought harder. I sobbed the entire way to planned parenthood. I was so upset I started bleeding heavily. When they took me back to the “ operating area” ( it was just a big room divided by curtains) I told the nurse I didn’t want to go through with it. She gave me something to calm me down, and I continued crying and trying to get off the table. I will never forget her face. She looked me in the eyes and and said “ you don’t want to do this do you?” I said no and she held my hand. The Dr came in. He said nothing and began the procedure. I am haunted not knowing if I was having a miscarriage or if my baby was still alive. I have regretted this EVER SINGLE DAY of my life! If you are thinking of abortion , PLEASE seek out adoption. There are so many people who would happily cover your living expenses etc for the chance to love your baby. There are options! Even if you are all alone, there are resources to help you. Do NOT believe the lies that mainstream media and PP want you to believe. They are evil and want to destroy God’s creation. I pray God forgives me and that someday I’ll see my baby in heaven. It’s been 26 years and I will never forget.

I was 24. I was already a single mom to 3 children. I was in a relationship for 6 months when I discovered I was pregnant. I was taking precautions, how could they fail!?! I told my partner about it. He expressed he was joining the military and wasn’t ready to have a child and maybe I should think of adoption. I was struggling to make ends meet with the 3 I currently had. I was working 2 full time jobs. How was I going to hide the pregnancy, entered my mind frequently, so I could give this child up? Would my other children wonder why I didn’t give them up? I couldn’t face my family, who many times threw in my face all the POS I ended up finding and ended up being fathers to my children. So March I went in to have an abortion. So many times I wanted to run out of the building, but I didn’t know how I could face my parents, aunts and uncles who would comment on me being a slut and having “bastard” children. So I went through with it. It was the most excruciating pain I had ever been through. The hate, anger, disgust that I felt toward myself almost cost me my life…all because I allowed others to judge me. Because I allowed their thoughts of me to kill my child. As I sat in the “recovery area”, a well used recliner, I read through the many stories of women before me. Next to each recliner there was a table with a notebook. Here women recovering could write their story. How many of us felt the same way! I jotted down my own story in this notebook. It took me 10 years to finally forgive myself. I met an amazing man who became my husband. We struggled for years to carry a child to term. I blamed myself. I told my husband about my past. Never once did he hold that over my head as to why we couldn’t carry a child to term. I beg of anyone who is reading these stories, contemplating abortion…there are many amazing people who want to adopt. Many who will do open adoptions so you know your child is ok and you made the right decision. You are not alone! There are people who want to help you! You are loved and always will be! Just reach out.

I was 18 in a wreckless relationship. My boyfriend was abusive and held me reliant on his job. He had 2 children from a previous relationship. The mother was not around much, so I was left with the responsibility to care for them. Soon enough I became pregnant with his third child (my 1st) & it hit me that I could not live life like this. Nothing was healthy about out relationship, so I panicked. I packed my stuff up while he was at work & the children were at their aunts. Then out of nowhere he got off early and discovered my plans of leaving. He slammed me against the wall and made it clear that I would go nowhere with his child & that I would die before that happens. I eventually managed to escape & felt that an abortion would be the only way to forever rid him in my life. So I went to planned parenthood with a young & naive mindset & had an abortion. At the time I felt this was entirely necessary but unfortunately I soon came to realize the true horror & despair of the after math of an abortion. It’s truly not worth it!! My baby already had a heart beat that to this day (10 years later) haunts me. Depression takes over & believe me it is extremely hard to overcome or to find joy in life. It’s as if a piece of you gets forever lost. I realize now that I could have made a different decision & that my baby would still be alive today. Options are always available, never once believe that abortion is the only ultimatum! If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help & you will get safety. Bring solace to your soul & learn from mine & millions of other women who are dealing with this everlasting pain! Please choose life!!

I cheated on my then husband and got pregnant…he convinced me to get an abortion and he would “forgive” me and we could move on and be happy..on March 16th 2019 I got rid of my beautiful baby. The whole process was traumatizing and I will never forget the nurse having to hold me while I was being put under. I knew it was wrong I just wanted him to be happy and 3 months later I ended up leaving him anyways to be with the man I had gotten pregnant to then. We have been struggling with getting pregnant for 18 months and everyday I’m reminded that we are missing a piece of both of us that should be n this earth. I have 2 kids from previously and I love them so so much but I would do anything to have that one back with us. I don’t know if I hate myself but I will never forgive myself for letting be so stupid. I hope that our baby knows I deeply regret my decision, I don’t think the pain will ever leave my heart.

I was forced I was in an abusive relationship basically thrown across the room when I said I didn’t wanna do it I was taking against my will to a back alley clinic and then I suffered terrible infection due to an incomplete and ended up in the hospital and never ever able to sustain a pregnancy even with fertility ended up 35 miscarriages before I just gave up. So that person who forced me rob me of ever having a child again in my life. So because I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for myself I have suffered every day of my life childless.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was scared out of my mind thinking “what am I going to do?” My boyfriend was with me and I handed him the test and we just sat there for a few minutes in silence and there was no discussion about whether we were going to keep the baby or not… we both assumed we were going to have the baby. We were scared because we both were recently laid off and currently unemployed, not an ideal situation for a baby. However, despite the situation we became happy and decided that we were going to do this, no matter how hard it is! When I told my parents they informed me that they think that we are too young, not married, and not in a good financial place to raise a child. they thought that it would be easier and better for the child for me to terminate the pregnancy. This was upsetting to me since we had made our decision but they didn’t make convincing points. I was extremely torn and going back-and-forth with the decision. after overthinking everything and despite how I felt deep down, I decided that terminating the pregnancy was the “right thing to do” for the baby and my relationship. I scheduled the abortion and in the days leading up to it I was extremely unsure and going back-and-forth between my decision. I have always loved kids and have always known that I wanted to child, so I knew I would be OK if I had him/her. What I didn’t know, was if it would be so difficult that I would have to rely on my parents or if I would have to work all day and not be able to stay home with the baby. I didn’t want to put that responsibility on anyone else except myself and my boyfriend, and I was unsure if we were able to handle that at this time, which is why I went to the appointment. The appointment happened so quickly, theres really no time for backing out. they give you some medication to relax and also sedate you before the procedure. I don’t remember anything after the needle went in my arm. I was never asked if this is something that I really want or am sure about. I was not given enough information, and I was not prepared for the emotions that would soon follow. The day of the abortion I felt fine emotionally, probably because the sedative took a while to wear off and I I hadn’t fully understood what I had just done. The next day is when it hit me. Most people say they feel relief. I was waiting for the relief… But it never came. I didn’t feel relief. I felt regret, grief, and extreme guilt for what I had done. nobody told me the pain I would feel of choosing to end the life of someone I created. The life that was growing inside of me, expecting me to protect it. For only being seven weeks pregnant, I didn’t expect to feel a bond with a fetus. But after it was gone, it felt like a piece of me was gone forever. A piece of me that I will never get back. I felt hopeless, depressed, and ashamed. I hadn’t felt such deep heartbreaking pain like this in many years. I was in such a dark place mentally, and nothing that anyone could say or do could help. I was left with regret and I have to live with that decision I made for the rest of my life. Knowing that I will never be able to know what that baby would have looked like we’re grown into one day. A child I created that I will never get to meet because I didn’t think it was the “right time.” I still cry at night sometimes, and the pain will always be there, I just learn to live with it. Please be sure this is what you want… if any part of you wants the child, but its not the right time or you feel you’re too young, be ready for the pain that’s to follow.

I’m 34 I have 6 kids.I found out I was pregnant 7 weeks ago I was so happy to tell the father and I didn’t get the response I wanted from him or from my family and friends.He began to tell me how horrible our life will be with a baby and how he doesn’t have the time for it.So for weeks I thought about and would tease him how we’re having this baby.He began to treat me like shit and eventually I started to hate my baby and regret the pregnancy.I got a ultrasound because maybe seeing it and showing him he would change his mind.I never showed him the ultrasound.I did get a call from a abortion clinic and was told $200 and I wouldn’t be pregnant anymore.So I get the abortion and I say goodbye to my baby and tell God how sorry I am.I remember them sucking the baby out of me and I begin to cry as they give me a pad and tissue to wipe the blood up. The next day waking up seeing my baby bump but no baby my heart was broken.I made a promise to my baby and God that I would never let that happen again and I will be the best person I can be.